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Logic, A Source
By Commander Suavek
Suavek had been staying at the Fal'ret Monastery on Vulcannis Two for over two weeks. He paid attention to everything T'Rel had been teaching him in the time so far. There were times of reflection. There were times of discussion. There were times where he would have to do exercises and there were also times where he would have to learn from the books of O'Thia as well as the canonical Kir'Shara. No matter how tedious the studies and practices were, he knew it would benefit him in the end.
It was early morning. On Vulcannis Two, there were two suns and a moon, but the environment was similar to that of Vulcan itself. He was sitting in one of the indwellings not far from the main shrine to IDIC on an indent in the wall that simulated the same functions as some sort of rock bench. T'Rel was having a discussion with him at this time of the day.
"Suavek," T'Rel began, "As you know, it is important to understand everything about what may be the source of instability towards your grasp on logic. It is plausible to supposition that your father is a source of some sort of mental unrest," she stopped pacing, then stood forward to look at his expression which was one of curiosity, "Mental unrest as in, what humans would call a trigger. A topic that causes an adverse effect on ones psyche. Mind you, I have peered into your mind. In the brief time I was one with your mind, I saw pain. Pain that one harnesses when something is incomplete or not given a reasonable amount of closure. Does the topic of your father discomfort you?"
He shook his head, "It does not."
T'Rel nodded, "Very well," then she started to continue pacing slowly again, "Please explain the relationship between you and your father, beginning from a relatively young age."
Suavek had to admit, though he was prepared for such a question, he was caught off guard more than he had thought. He took a breath in then exhaled, "I believe I had already summarized the general description of my relationship with my father upon my arrival."
She stopped pacing again, then looked at him from where she was, "Then I will clarify my request. Please elaborate on the relationship between you and your father."
He raised his eyebrows, then folded his arms, "As I had stated, my father and I were never in close communication with one another. He was a prominent Starfleet Fleet Admiral who was in the service sixty years before I had even decided to sign on myself. He had accomplished much throughout his career and I believe the notation of his accomplishments as well as his rearing as a traditional Vulcan often influenced how he treated everything from his duties to his own family."
T'Rel nodded, then faced the direction the rest of her body was facing and placed her hands behind her back, "Continue."
"He was often firm with me and my brother as we were growing up. More towards myself as I was younger. My brother had always been favored by him, openly. He had taken a different career path from my father, however my father seemed more accepting of his career ambitions."
"I did not know if I wished to dedicate my services and knowledge to an institution on Vulcan or in Starfleet like my father. Ultimately, I decided on the latter."
She turned to face him, then walked towards him, "Did you enter Starfleet to please your father?"
Suavek paused for a moment, "..... At first I did not think my purpose had to do much with my father."
"Remember, Suavek, you must be as candid and upfront as possible. Logic also bodes hand in hand with honesty. You can lie out of logic, yet you cannot be honest to yourself without logic."
"I..... I believe, in retrospect," he started nodding, not looking her at first, then he looked at her, "I did. I wanted to please my father by taking the same career path. Yet, after I did, his behavior toward me did not change as much as I had initially assumed it would."
"He still was not pleased." she commented.
"No. I graduated a semester early in the top ten of my class with honors. Even upon receiving my first promotion, my dad did not show impressing. When I transferred to my second assignment, he lectured me on why I was not promoted again after another year. Each accolade I had achieved, my father did not congratulate me."
"You do realize that the desire to acquire praise from one's parents is synonymous with vanity which is another illogical trait."
"Yes.... I do now. And I will tell you this. It has been a topic of which I cannot rid my mind of until the present. I apologize if I show many virtues and traits of illogic."
She looked at him for a moment, then folded her hands in front of her, "That is why you are here, Suavek. You may be candid. You also must bear in mind that we Vulcans do have emotions. The vast majority of us just decides to suppress them as best we can. Emotions tend to be the downfall to many Vulcans and other emotionally abundant beings. However, we must learn to adapt to the reality that they always will be a part of us."
"Indeed....." then Suavek looked at her, "If I would be able to travel backwards in time, I believe I would have done more to garner favor with my father. There have been times after his passing where I think to myself that it would have been preferable to have earned his respect before he died. Now I will never get that chance."
T'Rel raised an eyebrow, "Regret?"
Suavek looked at her in a puzzled faction at first, then nodded, "Yes...." then he stared off, "Fascinating."