[Stardate 201005.02 1306.15]
Login
He was running out of time. He'd need to make more of it.
He scribbled the rest of his equation, nearly smearing the thick black ink in the process. His eyes darted back and forth as he examined his work, performing lightning fast calculations in his mind. He seemed pleased with the results, and proceeded to draw a massive circle around it to indicate to himself that it would be useful. He then spun around and faced the opposite wall and began searching for the next piece of the puzzle.
The tight, dimly-lit space was a mess. The neutral gray walls had been adorned with a messy pattern of numbers and symbols. Equation after equation had been hand written across them, along with a few diagrams and sketches. A small table stood in the center of the room, and was covered in disorganized piles of PADDs, hard-bound books and loose sheets of paper. A few scraps of paper had fallen onto the floor below but had been ignored.
Ethan Grimms pushed a loose strand of dark, untidy hair away from his face as he continued his work. He kept glancing from wall to wall, trying to link equations and ideas to one another, searching for some sort of breakthrough. His eyes darted around quickly, seeking the connection. Then, rather abruptly, his pupils widened as an idea formed in his mind. He spun around to face the table, and sifted through the messy mound of papers. Several more sheets fell to his feet but he did not bother to pick them up.
A soft beep interrupted his train of thought. "The time is eighteen hundred hours," the neutral, female computer voice spoke. Immediately, the small replicator in the corner of the room came to life. A fresh plate of warm food and a glass of water materialized inside of it.
"Okay, okay," Ethan responded harshly to the inanimate device, as he continued to search through his papers. "Just another minute...."
After several more minutes of searching, Ethan let out a cry of defeat and threw the messy documents back onto the table. He then scurried over to the replicator to grab his meal. As he gulped down his food, he skimmed through his latest messages on the computer terminal. He was happy to have received a few of the latest articles on temporal mechanics from the Daystrom Institute. He'd received yet another letter from the department of Temporal Investigations, reminding him that a pair of agents would be showing up to speak with him (for the third time) about some of Ethan's unauthorized experiments. There was a letter from Starfleet, reminding him that his requested extension for a leave of absence was up for review. Lastly, Ethan noticed a brief letter from Lieutenant ZoLak, his former colleague from the U.S.S. Hermes.
The memory of ZoLak made Ethan take pause. The Zidda engineer had been one of Ethan's close friends and officers. The two had kept in only limited contact ever since Ethan abruptly left the Hermes. He was glad to hear that his friend had been promoted to Chief Engineer - the position Ethan himself had held previously. The Hermes would be in good shape, he was sure... assuming, of course, that the large Zidda could keep himself from getting attacked on a regular basis (Ethan remembered with amusement all of ZoLak's visits to sickbay).
On rare occasions, Ethan would find himself reminiscing about Starfleet and the Hermes. He missed the ship and her crew. He briefly entertained the idea of returning to the ship for a strictly social visit, but he ruled it out. After all, what would the crew think of him now?
Six months ago, Ethan had been traveling from a symposium when his shuttle crash landed on a planet buried within a nebula. He'd been rescued by a group of humans who had been stranded on that planet for several years. Ethan had met - and fallen for - a woman named Eve. Their chemistry and attraction was undeniable. Ethan wanted to save her and her people. Ethan had managed to repair his shuttle and break orbit. He returned to the Hermes, which then set a course to return to the planet. It was then that Ethan was confronted with a heart-breaking truth: Eve and the survivors had crashed on the planet two hundred years ago, and through a temporal disturbance surrounding the planet and the nebula, Ethan had been thrown back through time. When he returned with rescue, he was unable to go back in time and save them. Save her.
Eve's memory haunted him ever since. And when the Hermes suffered an unfortunate encounter with the Mirror Universe, Ethan experienced a near-death experience. He had been transported to a new plane of existence, and he was reunited with Eve. Until he was ripped away from that existence and returned to the cold harsh reality that was his life. Predictably, Ethan snapped. He no longer wanted to live his life. He wanted to return to another time, another place. He wanted to be.... wherever she would be.
Ethan requested an extended LOA and left the Hermes. He traveled through the quadrant in search of answers. He studied a wide range of theories and historical encounters on space and time travel, from the artificial wormhole in the Bajoran system (and the unique aliens who live inside of it) to the legends of the Iconian gateways to the Guardian of Forever. He researched the transporter accidents which had allowed people to travel to the Mirror Universe - perhaps there was a way to unlock doors to other times and continuums? He spent weeks in a shuttlecraft, circling the nebula where he'd crashed, trying to figure out how to manipulate the temporal disturbances.
He'd had no luck. Little progress. One step forward, but two steps back. The finest scientists in the Federation studied temporal mechanics all day. If they hadn't make a breakthrough, what made Ethan think that he could? Turning away from science for a while, Ethan had even looked into more spiritual answers. Some cultures, such as the Bajorans, believed in higher powers that controlled our destinies. Ethan read about old human religions. He contemplated the notions of heaven and hell. When he nearly died, had he gone to heaven? Could something like that truly exist, and would it be worth his life to find out?
Ethan Grimms was a broken man. Desperate and clutching at something that wasn't real. He'd lost his sense of reason, his sense of logic. His life lay in shambles. He was unsure if he would ever gain a moment of clarity. As he glanced up at the walls in his room, he realized that the man he used to be was gone, and he didn't recognize that man he'd become.