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USS Excelsior Logs and Narratives image
"Barfights? What Were You Thinking?" JPL

USS Excelsior Logs and Narratives

by Captain Michael Holden, Commander Stacey Harris, Commander Zarian Lobren, Captain Joshua Trellis
[Stardate ]


“Barfights? What Were You Thinking?”

JPL Captain Holden, Dr. (Bones) Harris, Commander Lobren, Captain Trellis


Joshua Trellis stood in his quarters and stared at his wife incredulously, “you did what??!!”


Dr. Stacey Bones Harris looked down at her feet sheepishly, but realized that was a bad idea as her nose started to drip blood again. Her husband grabbed a towel and held it to her nose. “You better run that by me again, Stacey. Now, WHAT happened?”


Bones grabbed the towel from him and held it to her nose herself, “don't talk to me like I'm your subordinate or your child- because I'm neither.”


Joshua stepped back, angry but controlled, “well right now you are acting like a child. What the hell? You just had twins 10 days ago, you're barely home from sickbay, and you got into....a bar fight??!!”


Bones sat down on the couch, “it wasn't exactly a bar fight. That Klingon bitch bartender made a comment about George and Gracie! She said it didn't matter what names that we came up with...that they were gonna try to destroy the world someday!”


Joshua pinched the edge of his nose, “so you punched her...”


Bones nodded and winced. Joshua went and retrieved an ice pack and put it on his wife's eye. “We should go to sickbay and get your face looked at.”


Bones shook her head, “I don't need sickbay...besides, you should see the Klingon.” She smirked.


Joshua yelled, “this is not funny! You think this is funny?! We have twins in the neo-natal unit who are a week and a half old, and their mother is running around getting in barfights! How the hell do you expect us to change the future if this is how it's starting out??”


Bones stood up, “oh for crissakes, don't blow this out of proportion. I had one drink!”


Joshua folded his arms. “You don't smell like you had only one drink.”


Bones threw her hands up, “yeah well. I haven't had a drink in 9 months, guess I lost my tolerance edge.”


Joshua then threw his hands up, “I can't even believe you are trying to defend this behavior. What were you thinking?? No forget it, you weren't thinking. That's painfully obvious.”


The doctor yelled back, “my God, stop being so ridiculous. It's not a big deal. This will blow over. No one will know. I'll get this patched up and it will be behind us. I won't let it happen again. No one is going to find out!”


The CMO was cut off from her defensive tirade by her comm unit chirping.


Captain Holden to Dr. Harris. Report to my ready room. This is not a request.”


Bones looked at Josh, “oh shi*.”


In the captain's ready room, Commander Lobren stood on the opposite side of the captain's desk. “Really, Sir,” the Brikar protested, “I coulda handled this m'self.”

“I'm sure you could have, Commander,” Holden remarked, “but this is already into the rumor mill. If the doctor thinks no one else saw it, she obviously didn't read the room right.” He huffed. “I cannot have my chief medical officer cold-cocking anyone, let alone our civilian bartender.”

“Rek'las said she woulda thought less o' th' doc if she hadn't punched her,” Lobren commented.


“That's not the point, Lobren, and you know it,” Holden snapped.  He wasn't certain if it was actually Dr. Harris' actions in the lounge, or the fact his wife was on Earth trying to deal with Malino's shuttle “accident” that bothered him more.

Back in their quarters, Trellis looked at his wife over folded arms. “Do you want me to go with you? Maybe I can help, I don't know, smooth it over?”

Bones shook her head, which restarted another trickle of blood from her nose. “No. This is my problem. I'll deal with it. Thanks though.” She grabbed her towel and left the quarters. Josh was just angry enough too to let her go.


5 minutes later had the doctor ringing the chime at the Ready Room door with all eyes on the bridge on her. She supposed maybe the altercation was seen by more people than she had hinted at...or perhaps because she was still trying to stem a slight flow of blood from her nose. Maybe not stopping at sickbay first would get her sympathy points and a lighter sentence, she thought. At any rate, the captain did say to come immediately. He answered the chime, “come!”

She slowly walked in and let the doors close behind her. The captain was standing behind his desk and Lobren was in front of it. She stammered, “uh Captain, Commander...I can explain. Probably.”

Lobren simply grunted and stepped further aside. “This should be good,” he muttered.

“I should certainly hope you can, Doctor Harris,” Holden said in a no-nonsense tone. He noticed the blood dripping. “Commander Lobren, can you grab the emergency medical kit, and take care of that before she bleeds all over my office?”

“Aye, Sir,” the Brikar acknowledged. He walked to the small med-kit station and pulled out the carrier holding the medical instruments. He walked back to Bones.

Bones eyed the Brikar warily, wondering if he even had enough emergency training to be able to take care of a bloody nose and black eye- but also thought she shouldn't rock her already precarious boat by saying anything contrary; so she let him proceed with his ministrations as she started her explanation. “Well, you see...I was in the lounge having a coffee and some folks were congratulating me about the babies and stuff, you know. And Rekklas came over and a few people started doing some congratulatory shots including her. Well fast forward about 45 minutes and she was getting kind of grumpy and mean, and well she said a few things that I was incapable of just letting slide.” She crossed her arms, “I'm going to have to use post-partum emotionality as an excuse for my momentary lapse of control. That is a real thing, by the way. I may have threw the first punch, but she definitely started the fight.”

“Whatever happened ta that hippo's oath of doin' no harm,” Lobren asked as he continued to run the instrument over Bones' nose.

“That is the Hippocratic Oath, Commander,” Holden corrected, but he was not amused. “Doctor, you do realize that despite your current light-duty status you are still a department head aboard this ship, right?”

Bones nodded and hit her nose on Lobren's knitter, “ouch. Be careful. It might be broken.” She went to rub at her nose but Lobren swatted her hand away. She side-eyed Holden to answer him, “I do, sir.”

“It's only gonna be broken if ya keep bangin' inta th' knitter,” Lobren grunted. “Keep yer head still. Dang doctors make th' worst patients.”

“Well, Doctor, don't you think a department head…€… “ Holden paused and shook his head. “You weren't thinking, or at least you let the drinks do your thinking for you. I'm willing to bet it wasn't synthehol, too.”

The doctor winced, both from Lobren's unusual bed-side manner, and the words of Holden that sounded suspiciously like those of her husband. She wasn't sure if he expected a reply or not- so for once in her life, she decided to keep her mouth shut and let him continue.

“Don't treat the eye, Commander,” Holden instructed. When Lobren turned his way with a look the captain could only guess was questioning his order. “I think she should bear the indignity of her actions a bit longer.” He looked at Bones. “While my usual punishment for this kind of infraction would be a night or two in the brig, I'm not going to do it this time. I can just see the crew revolt on me for putting a new mother into the brig. What I am going to do is assign you forty-eight hours of community service to be served in the ship's nursery/pre-k section. You will do whatever the teacher asks of you, which could be including reading of stories to the children without scaring them. And…€… you will not touch any alcohol in that time.”


Bones listened to him. She thought it was a little barbaric to let her shiner go untreated. Tomorrow it would be swollen and purple, not to mention sore. It seemed kind of crazy when Lobren could treat it literally in 5 minutes with the little kit he was holding in his hand. She could tell the captain was angry. She didn't mention that though, she needed to pick and choose her battles and decided she would haggle and try to get him to compromise on the other side of his sentence, “48 hours? So like six 8 hour days?? What about sickbay? Not to question you, captain, but you don't really want sickbay being without me for another week, do you?? Also, what about Rekklas? What does she have to do? You know, being that this was her fault and all.”


“If we doled out punishments everytime someone said something objectional,” Holden said, a tenseness in his voice., “you would have been busted down to an ensign by now and serving as a medical officer on a garbage scow. Let's not forget who threw the first punch. As for your …€Â˜sentence,' I don't care how you serve it out, six hours a day, two hours a day, I am not compromising. Forty-eight hours.”


Bones looked back to Lobren who was giving her a “You better shut up and take it” look, so she reluctantly acquiesced - as she was obviously making the captain even angrier. “Yes sir. Am I excused?”


Captain Holden looked at her a moment longer. He wondered why that hadn't gone as bad as he had thought it would. Finally he nodded. “You're dismissed.”


The doctor nodded a quick thank you to Lobren and fled. As she walked through the bridge to the turbolift, she could feel all eyes on her. She mentally dared someone to say something, but wisely no one did. When she got back to her quarters, Joshua was waiting.


“Well, how did it go?”


Bones gave him a breakdown of the dressing down- and ended it with, “I just can't believe she's getting off scot-free!” Trellis wasn't sure whether to console his wife or still be angry, but she made the decision for him. “Listen, I'm tired and I'm sore. All my muscles are sore and my eye is quite irritating. I'm just going to go lay down for a bit, okay?”


Joshua nodded. “You want company?”


Bones shook her head, “nah. I think I just need a little alone time to wallow in my misery.” Joshua smirked and nodded and walked into his office alcove to watch holovids.


Bones retreated into their quarters, shut the door, laid on the bed, and literally cried. It hurt her eye too, but she did it anyway. Bones was not a cryer usually so she had no idea where this was even coming from. It's not like she's never been in trouble before. Maybe it was because she just had twins that literally might try to destroy the federation someday. At any rate, life was changing and she wasn't sure she liked it. She wondered if she had post-Partum depression. She had certainly diagnosed it in others before. Stupid hormones. She would have to keep it under wraps otherwise she was guaranteed a trip to the counselor's office, and that would delay her getting back to work...which was what she really craved, that sense of normalcy. She cried a little more until she fell asleep.



Back in the ready room, Holden turned to Lobren once Bones left to get his opinion on the whole matter, and he wondered also if he should call Trellis. Holden trusted Lobren and Lobren trusted Trellis. “What are  your thoughts?”


“I'm sure ya wouldn' be tellin' th' skip…€… Cap'n Trellis anything he doesn' already know,” Lobren replied. “As far as th' doc goes, she's been through a lot lately. I'm sure th' dread of what th' future holds for George an' Gracie is weighin' heavily on her mind. An', with what Rek'lass said ta her, that was just outta line, an' cruel, but that's what Klingons do.”


Holden nodded. It had actually stugn him a small bit when he heard Lobren refer to Captain Trellis as “the skipper.” It just went to show how much Lobren actually trusted Trellis. Did it alos mean the Brikar still did not fully trust him?


“But, do you think she'll be alright?”


“I do, Sir,” Lobren assured his commanding officer. “She needs ta get back ta work.  She needs ta actually hold them babies in her arms.  She will be fine.  Still, ya can have Taz talk with her when she gets back, ya know, kinda off the cuff?”


Captain Holden again nodded. “Thank you for your opinion, Zarian..” He wanted to say more to show the Brikar just how much he valued the security chief's counsel, but didn't want this to get uncomfortable between them.


“Ya're a good mook, Cap'n,” Lobren stated as if he knew what the man had been thinking. “Ya'll always do what's right for the ship and this crew.” Holden gave the Brikar a grateful nod.


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