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Welcome to the Bait Shop, Dear
Chapter One
Joint Personal Log
Dusty Rivers & Melody Dear
Down in the recently converted Cargo Hold 13, at the very bottom of
the Fragglerock, Dusty absent mindedly polished the top of the Bait Shop's
mahogany bar, as Jimmy Buffett tunes wafted over the comm system. Bottles of
alcoholic beverages from all over the galaxy covered most of the rear of the
bar in front of the huge mirror. Tall, mahogany bar stools lined the bar,
and an eclectic collection of tables and
chairs, scrounged from various ports-of-call surrounded the sand covered
dance floor. A small stage overlooked the dance floor and the bar. Ceiling
fans spun lazily overhead, helping to give the bar a vaguely Casablanca look
and feel.
Just as the computer began to play the next Jimmy Buffett song in
the rotation, called Why Don't We Get Drunk, a face appeared in the doorway.
Melody walked in, stopped short, and gaped at the scene before her. This
definitely not what she had been expecting. She visibly cringed as Jimmy
Buffett sang his brazenly irreverent lyrics. Glancing toward the bar, she
spotted Dusty, and blurted, "What is this place?"
Slightly startled, Dusty looked up to see the new Counselor
standing in the doorway. A big smile washed over his face at the prospect of
a new initiate, "Aloha! Welcome to the Fragglerock Bait & Tackle Shop!" He
motioned to the tall barstools, "Come on in and park yourself." Dusty
smiled as the Counselor tried to gracefully hop up on the end stool. When
she was settled, he asked her, "What can I get you to drink? I suggest a
Dirty Banana."
Melody laughed as she straighten herself on the stool. "A what?!"
Smiling mischievously, he told her, "It's a Banana Daiquiri with
toasted coconut generously sprinkled on top."
"Oh. No, thank you. But, a cup of cranberry juice would be nice."
"Cranberry juice? Coming right up!" Dusty shuffled over and puled
a carafe of cranberry juice from the bar's fridge. He reached up and pulled
down a half coconut shell and filled it with the juice.
Melody took another long look around the bar. "I was just looking
for my quarters. When I saw the sign, I figured I would peek my head in."
Dusty placed a straw and a tiny beach umbrella in the drink and
handed it to her. "Your quarters? You mean you haven't found them yet?"
She looked quizzically at the coconut, as she tried to make sure
there was no coconut in it. "I, well . . ." Melody looked up at him. "This
ship has been changed in so many ways. I have just been unable to find it
yet, but I'm sure I will." She looked again at the drink, and said a silent
prayer as she took a sip.
Noticing her hesitance, Dusty asked, "Something wrong with the
drink?"
"No, I'm allergic to coconuts, that's all."
"Well, why didn't you say so?" He flashed a friendly bartender
smile and poured some cranberry juice into a glass tumbler. "Here ya go.
Cranberry juice, straight up, minus the party favors."
-tbc-
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Welcome to the Bait Shop, Dear
Chapter Two
Joint Personal Log
Dusty Rivers & Melody Dear
Melody looked relieved as she took the tumbler of cranberry juice.
"Thank you. So this is where you hide?" Again, she looked around at the
Bait Shop. "So, what exactly is it your supposed to be doing?"
Dusty bit his lip. "Well, I am trying to gradually build a nice
little bar, mainly because I like to tend bar." Picking up a towel, he wiped
down the bar again.
She watched him for a few moments and sipped her cranberry juice.
"Something is troubling you. What is it?"
He shrugged, then pulled a glass mug down from the over head rack
and poured a beer from the tap. "I'm a meteorologist. This is a freighter.
What do you think?"
"It does not matter what I think. It matters what you think. What
do you think?"
Dusty took a long healthy draught of the beer. "Well, first I was
stationed in Hawaii. Then, without warning, I was transferred to some
outpost in the boonies, called Sarajevo, on a planet which had no summer!
Then, I got boofed to this freighter. What the heck good is a meteorologist
on a freighter?"
Melody cupped the tumbler with both hands. She looked down at it,
and back up to Dusty. "Well, first of all, isn't this a modified Starfleet
vessel? Wasn't the modification just a matter of some quarters being removed
in favor of additional cargo space? To me, that does not necessarily make it
a freighter. And, my advice to you, Mr. Rivers, is to make the best of a bad
situation. We cannot always get the assignments we want,
that is true, but we can make the experience of that assignment good or bad.
It is up to us. True."
Dusty nodded, "That's exactly why the Bait and Tackle Shop exists.
Besides, I think it might be a good gimmick if we start to take on passengers
like some of the old freighter ships used to do." Draining the beer, he set
the mug down and continued, "Please understand, that I like the crew, and if
one was to be assigned to a freighter, this is the one to be assigned to, I
guess."
"Yes, well . . ." Melody pointed to Dusty's attire. "I have
noticed how, . . . What is the term I am looking for? Ahhh, yes . . . I
have noticed how laid back the crew seems to be. I suppose it could be a
dream assignment for those officers who would have trouble in an otherwise
more properly run ship." She set the glass down. "Thank you for the juice.
I need to find my quarters. I hope everything works out for you, Ensign
Rivers."
"Well, wait just a second, and I'll see if I can find out where
your quarters are." Dusty turned to a small console behind the bar and
tapped in a few commands. Reading from the screen, he said, "Ensign Melody
Dear . . . you're quarters are on Deck 8, three doors down from the
turbolift, and on the left." He looked over and smiled, then his face sort
of screwed up into a slightly comically quizzical grin. "Melody Dear!
Oh my! I'm sorry! . . . er . . . I mean . . . That's your last name, not . .
. er . . . not what I thought it was. I'm very sorry, Counselor."
She looked at him for a moment and laughed. "You're forgiven this
time, however you were coming real close to being decked the next time you
called me Honey." She smiled. "Deck 8, three doors down you say . . . Thank
you. I want to get out of this uniform and into something more comfortable,
and curl up with a good book. Again, thanks for the juice."
As he watched her walk toward the door, he laughed as he called
out, "Hey, I've been decked by the best! If you need anything, don't
hesitate to call me."
Melody waved over her shoulder as she headed out of the bar and
off to bed.
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Captain La'Zana & Prince Pe'te, the Solo Antenna
Personal Log: Sleepless Night
sd 9911.02
Pe'te woke w/ a rumbling in his stomach and an odd craving for rare sirloin.
He stretched and blinked his eyes several times, then whispered, "Ssssana?
Hue avake?"
The Captain rolled over and smiled in the darkness, "Yes, Pe'te."
Her solo antenna leaned down and looked at her, "Vat 'cha dooing?"
She scratched his head playfully and replied, "Just laying here thinking that
we never got paid for that last delivery."
Pe'te shifted back and forth under her hand, "I tink dat da fact dat ve got
avay awive, issss enough payment."
She nodded in the dark, "Perhaps, still...... a few strips of latnium would
have been nice. I wanted to put in a small practice sand trap along the back
nine."
Pe'te started to sniff her hand, "Vell, dares alvays nesssssst time," he
answered and then gave her hand a sharp nibble.
La'Zana jumped, "Pe'te! What's with you?" She sat up and rubbed her hand,
"Ever since that visit to the castle you've been talking funny and taking
little nibbles of me! Don't I feed you enough??"
"I can't help it!" Pe'te cried. "I veel a sssstrong craving fer....fer....."
He began wrestling w/ her Elvis barrette. "I vant to suck yer blood!"
La'Zana was thrown from the bed head first as Pe'te thrashed around trying to
bite her barrette. "That's it!" she said, struggling to get up, "We're going
to Sickbay. Maybe you're not getting enough iron in your diet or something.
Lights!" She stuffed her feet in
her Elvis slippers and pulled on her robe.
Seeing the lights come on in the room, Pe'te screamed out, "No! Nooo! Da
light! Da light! Noooooo! Oooooooh!"
TBC........
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coming on board frag
pt 1
lisa gaze out shuttle .feeling mix up and confused. just why she been asign a
ship. she was total failure at acamdy . grades where very low . she goof off
a lot. by skip class .
going to a party instead. she guess the starfleet admiral and other head
comand. thought that everyone deveresd. star ship to sirverd on . she had
know idea what captain . was like at all.
weather he or she was strict . fairly easy going . well she fine out soon
enough.
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y2kbugs on the loose
Lisa sleeping in quarters. out like a light big new year even party. sprung
out of bed. ready to start the day. she couldn't wait to do some fancy
flying. as she quickly got dress. notice out of corner of her eye. something
scurrying out of her quarters.
tbc
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aprail fool joker
pt 2
by esign sara phoniex
sara lookking or clowns costumed . for her and her friends to use . to play
her aprail fool jokes , the joke of her friends. that they would pull , on
there repsected ships and statsion.
it was decide that she would pick out joker costume. it had to be something
that would make the all look the same . she saw a pink clown costume .then
she thought no to herself . it would tip off killa way to much .
then no jokes could be pull. that wouldn't be any fun at all . she contuie
her search for a costume . after several more clicks trough clown costume
picture . she found the perfect one it was red coustume . with black jester
hat . purple green checker sock .and dark blue quarter boot curl up wards in
tows.
she thought for a moment. she had costume , they could where white black make
up on there faces. she could order green contact lens for her self and her
friend . this way they wouldn't be reconized . until they want to be
relvealed .
tbc
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MAD WEASELS... part one
By Lieutenant T`aran
I got up from my bed and stumbled out still in a drunken haze from the party
on the bridge the night before...Don't really know what happened to ENSIGN
EXPENDABLE... Who know he may have died again and someone just left his
carcass laying around in the lounge somewhere....All I can remember is
sitting in my own little corner of the bridge and someone taking off with my
bowl of popcorn and me getting up and trying my best not to fall on Lisa....
Well, I made my way around and found what appeared to be a bottle of very old
Romulan ale. I picked it up and went back to my little corner of the
bridge..... This is where it gets strange...... I start to drink and get
relaxed and all of a sudden look out the corner of my eye and see what I
think looks like giant rats crawling all over the bridge.... Now mind you, I
am prone to have on occasion a slight hallucination from time to time. I
proceeded
to take another drink of ale I look up just in time to see one coming at me.
I jump about half way out of my Vulcan skin and take off running screaming
like a mad man because I just realized what I was being chased by ..... I ran
around the bridge screaming MAD WEASELS...MAD WEASELS AHhhhhh they are after
me ... MAD WEASELS..... I look back and one of the furry MAD WEASELS are
trying to run up the Captains leg.... I tried to scream to the Captain to
look out, but, it was to late .... She had just been WEASELED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This of course was when I woke up and decided I needed a drink.
TBC. >:)
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a fraggle night
lisa sat at the helm . they where heading to know star system . to pick up
ssome shipment to take . to near by star base. ltn taran was in command. at
that moment . he was also drinking up a storm .
googling at her with his eyes. form the command chair. they had been so many
adventure so far .it was hard to keep track of them .
she sort want to for future .she was going do that. they where heading dock
. for some reparis and updates. they soon be back out there. having another
wacky adventure.
tbc
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lost
pt1
ensign lisa truefriend
lisa sat in her quarters . not sure of what she want to be . post had
replace by some one else. not that she blame captain for that. it was what
she was post to do. right now she felt that there no other post for her.
even if she did try another one. she just wasn't sure on it. she felt her
self changing with in to. maybe it was time leave the frag . seek stuff else
where. captain had offered her yoeman job.
that didn't seam stir with her. all it was to her was title. not interesting
post as well. all she could do was give try. if the post of yoemen didn't
work oot . well ythen she leave the ship . arange transport back to earth .
fine something else to do.
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Personal log for Ens Carissa Lucy Hunter
stardate: 0011.25
USS Fragglerock
Well i finally returned to normal. No more see thru me. Wow. what an
experience. I must remember to return the lovely plumed tiara back to the
good doctor. I am anxious to return to engineering, as another crewmember has
taken my duty shift for me. It worries me though, and i do hope that he takes
care of Nelly( the warp core) as good as i would.
I have been successful in avoiding Ens Expendable... thank goodness. The
embarrassement has been driving me insane.
I have never flashed anyone, and let alone the good looking ens. I have now
become miss popular, it seems.
Goodness... i know that it has circulated all over the ship. I am the topic
of conversation lately in the lounge and have had several requests to go out
on dates. But i am not stupid.. i know why they want to go out with me. MY
PIPS. Although i dont know what they would do with them. They would look
pretty silly on them.
OF course i have turned them all done. My reputation has been smeared like
the correction fluid i use on all my reports to the captain.
The one i wish to ask me.. will not now. Oh the shame!!!!!
Well i will resort to being the good little Kameleon i am, and return to my
corner with warp core dust on my face
and hopefully this will all blow over soon.
Ens Carissa Lucy Hunter
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Personal log for Ens Carissa Lucy Hunter
stardate: 0011.25
USS Fragglerock
Well i finally returned to normal. No more see thru me. Wow. what an
experience. I must remember to return the lovely plumed tiara back to the
good doctor. I am anxious to return to engineering, as another crewmember has
taken my duty shift for me. It worries me though, and i do hope that he takes
care of Nelly( the warp core) as good as i would.
I have been successful in avoiding Ens Expendable... thank goodness. The
embarrassement has been driving me insane.
I have never flashed anyone, and let alone the good looking ens. I have now
become miss popular, it seems.
Goodness... i know that it has circulated all over the ship. I am the topic
of conversation lately in the lounge and have had several requests to go out
on dates. But i am not stupid.. i know why they want to go out with me. MY
PIPS. Although i dont know what they would do with them. They would look
pretty silly on them.
OF course i have turned them all done. My reputation has been smeared like
the correction fluid i use on all my reports to the captain.
The one i wish to ask me.. will not now. Oh the shame!!!!!
Well i will resort to being the good little Kameleon i am, and return to my
corner with warp core dust on my face
and hopefully this will all blow over soon.
Ens Carissa Lucy Hunter
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Personal log for Ens Carissahunter
stardate 0012.16
Assistant engineer
Uss Fragglerock
Carissa sits in her quarters, wondering who wolf whistled at her. She
once again managed to bare all. She had tried to slip out of yet another
soiled uniform to replace it with a clean one.. when someone activated the
doors of main engineering and Boom. There she stood for all of deck 9 to see
her. She was going to have to figure out a way to charge tickets since this
was becoming a regular occurance. She decided that the next time.. she would
try the jeffries tubes.
She was beginning to wonder if she would ever be court marshalled for
consistently being out of uniform.....
Slapping herself.. she thought of a great solution.. I will wear two
unforms.. one underneath the other.
That way, I can shed one and not be out of uniform. " Terrific idea... she
was proud of herself.
She kinda liked the whistle....... then shook her head. "Snap out of it
girl.. "
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Personal log for Lt jg Carissa Hunter
Engineer
Carissa looked at her surroundings. What a major mess there was in
MENG. She needed to clean this mess up and soon. But where to start was the
Question. Carissa sat down and began to sob... wondering how she was going to
clean it all up before she turned 50. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in her
head.
I got an idea!! Carissa left meng and rounded the corner on her way to the
holodeck. She hoped all the way there, that no one was using it. When she
finally made her way there, she accessed the panel and punched the key padd
and entered the holodeck. Once inside, she spoke. Computer.. erase present
program.
Initate new program, entitled.. Carissa Genesis, alpha numeric
5164-2156161113-5413206 Security level 2. clearance code 33544062054.
Replicate one Lt jg Carissahunter. I will need Five of her.. i mean me..
Carissa laughed.
Please make sure that every replicated Carissa is wearing two uniforms. She
laughed again.
We will name each one as they are generated. Carissa stood there with her
arms folded and waited for the computer to reply. Neatly standing in a row at
attention were five Carissas. Looking exactly like the original,
they were named. Carissa prototype 1 -- to -- 5. Okay,,, now how to get them
to MENG.
Carissa supplied them each with a holographic emitter and bellowed out..
follow me.
Carissa proceeded out of the holodeck, marching with her five woman team to
MENG.
It looked like a scene from Earth's historical documents "Twilight Zone"
Will the real Carissa hunter please stand up? Carissa giggled all the way to
MENG. I'm the carissa .. yes i'm the real carissa... so please stand
up... please stand up...
The Carissa five.. entered engineering and soon began to clean and dismantle
the room.
Cleaning and disenfecting the main console panel, the warp core and the
jeffries tubes, the floors and the walls.
Carissa was done and accomplished getting meng back into shape within a
relative short period of time.
Pleased with herself, she assembled the prototypes in a row.. and retireved
each of the emitters planted on their lapels. Each one vanished, leaving
carissa once again all alone in MENG.
With her work all done.,, she decided to go to the lounge for a well needed
drink.
Carissa decided right then and there.. that she was going to have a social
life and there was nothing like starting with the present to attain one.
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A Duty Log?
by LtJG Felix
The computer sat staring at an empty, low lit room. It had sprang to life
ten minutes earlier but had yet to identify who had summoned him. Although he
hadn't seen anyone, he could hear a noise in the background.
Crunch, crunch went the noise.
The computer wished his new friend would reveal themselves. He had wished to
talk with someone after the nasty breakup with a computer on deck 3. Being
dumped by the replicator from the lounge had left the little computer
terminal depressed.
Crunch, crunch went the noise again.
Slowly an ear began to show itself, followed closely by eye, a set of
whiskers, and finally half a nose. A feline thought the computer. The
half-face zipped out of view, leaving the computer feeling a bit dejected.
Crunch, crunch went the noise again
If it were not for the noise then the computer would have shut itself off.
From the right of the screen the opposite side of the face came into view as
slowly as it had before. The computer was almost happy at the sight of his
new friend when the face disappeared again.
Crunch, crunch
Two ears slowly revealed themselves at the top of the screen, then quickly
vanished. The computer was beginning to wonder if this was really happening,
perhaps there was a glitch in the programming. Maybe these were old images
flickering from long ago.
Crunch, crunch
The computer decided to wait and continued listening to the crunching noise.
It was beginning to form a pattern, and there was a slight rustling noise the
computer had not noticed before.
Crunch, crunch, pause, crinkle, crinkle, pause, crunch, crunch
The two ears began to make their appearance again this time from the bottom
of the screen at the same rate of speed as before. The computer waited
patiently and watched as both sides of the face slowly moved up. The orange
feline munched nervously on something the computer could not see. It was
clear to the computer his new friend was scared and panicky. The computer
thought "Hello new, friend don't be scared." The wide eyed feline stared at
the
screen and made a gulping noise.
Crinkle, crinkle
A hand covered the feline's mouth and quickly disappeared. The feline began
moving his mouth and the crunching noise recommenced. The computer and feline
stared at each other for a few minutes. The computer tried to converse but
the feline would never answer. "Hi Mr. Feline, how are you today? Is there
anything I can do for you? What are you eating? Can you speak?" The little
terminal began to get annoyed just watching the feline eat. "What is wrong
with you?" The feline gulped but did not fill his mouth again, instead he
began to tremble and his eyes went as wide as plates. The computer thought
his new friend was about to spontaneously combust in front of him.
"TheCaptainsaidIhavetostartwritngdutylogs!TheshipwasalmostdestroyedbyFerengi!Kirksavedtheshipwithhisnewship!Brightflashycolors!"
The computer took a moment to process the information. The feline had said it
so fast it almost sounded like one word. As the words went into the data
banks the computer began to feel sorry for his friend's dilemma. It beeped a
sympathetic apology to the feline. The feline screamed, a bright shiny bag
flew into view and the contents went flying about. The computer watched as
the feline jumped backwards, bounced on the bed, leaped to a wall, bounced
off it, ran in a couple of circles then ran out the door screaming.
"IT'S GONNA EAT ME! "
Feeling dejected again the computer stared at the room for five minutes then
shut itself off.
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Case of the Missing Vulcan
A joint log with Taran and Felix
Da Frag!
Da Stardate- 0010512
Taran and Felix stand in the junkyard looking around at assorted rusty crap.
"This is nothing but junk!" Taran says as he takes a swig from a hidden
flask.
"I'm not sure if we can use any of this." Felix says looking around and
shaking and on the verge of shedding.
Taran gulps down the rest of the flask's contents then slips it into his
pocket. "Well, we have a mission fleabag, so we better get to it." He pauses
then feels his pockets. "Hey have you seen my tricorder, I seem to
have..er..misplaced it."
Felix shrugs. "I haven't seen it," he mumbles to himself, "you probably sold
it for a bottle of ale."
"Hey I heard that you walking pile of fur! Give me your tricorder, fuzzy!
I'm out of gin and I want to get back to the ship pronto!"
Felix frowns. "Fine but call me names again and I'll send your gin out of an
airlock!"
"Whatever." Taran says waving his hand in the air. "You have a tricorder or
not?"
"Yeah it's in my pocket, gimme a sec to find it." Felix starts pulling stuff
out of his pockets and hands them to Taran. "Here hold this."
Taran stares at the objects as they are tossed to him. He makes a mental
note of the contents of Felix's pockets. "Geez he's a packrat." Taran thinks.
Contents of Felix's Pockets
Pocket lint, half eaten peanut butter and herring samich, a toothpick, roll
of duct tape, graham cracker, 5 marbles, tattered ball of string, a rock, a
piece of chocolate, bottle cap, a bag of catnip, one of Lucy's extra
uniforms, rubber mouse, roll of Charmin, the TV remote, marshmallow, deck of
cards (3 of which are missing), yo-yo, a sock, rubber band, pillow feathers
from Kirk's helm pillow, an 8-track tape, paper clips, a slightly used sponge
from Ensign Expendy's mop closet, post-it note, jumper cables, pencil
sharpener, can of tuna, 3/4 of a rice crispy treat, one of Taran's flasks, a
screwdriver, a bumper sticker that says "I break for chicken wings",
magnascopic energy scanner, a spork, an ashtray from a Holiday Inn, one of
the Captain's slippers, a pair of earmuffs, and a dried out green marker,
board game ( parcheesie) a frozen pizza, a copy of the Karma Sutra in popup
edition, a
bag of bird seed, one of Doc Thangs leotards, an easy bake oven, turtle wax,
sex in the city key chain, Hare Krishna summer camp brochure, one slightly
used Klingon fart detector, a fishin rod, tooth brush, Mercedes Benz car
emblem, Bajoran antacid tablets, brown banana peel, burrito, poker chips, a
pass port to Risa, one of Commander Savages boots (left ) , oh and a Flux
capacitor (he carries a time travel device and is clueless to the fact that
he
owns one), a trill Barbie head, spare emotion chip from Data, a bottle of
Taran's 100 proof gin,
"I know it's here somewhere." Felix says.
a wrench, a spare tire, a rubber chicken, pink hair ribbons, stapler, a
gallon of red paint, a green furry orange slice, a Borg implant, chop sticks,
scuba gear, light saber, play station 542 with 12 game disk, a Mary Poppins
holo-vid, a little Mermaid T-shirt two sizes to small, a bottle of Nair, a
bucket of QFT (Qonos Fried Targ) original recipe, Madonna's' Bra, outdated
calendar, a packet of pop rocks candy, a leaking ink pen, a 20th century
peace sign pin, a strand of hippie beads, a blues clues lunch box, a pair of
used Scoobie boxers, phaser, extra rank pip, a stuffed teddy bear, a clothes
hanger, shot glass, TV guide, WWF tickets, two pine tree air freshener, a
bottle of Old Spice, a star chart, a personal padd, a spay bottle of Fabreeze
(extra cat formula) , a beanie baby, a diaper pin, a teach me book on how to
be a 'Q', a can of Starfleet issued Lysol, a bed sheet, a clothes
pin, a welcome mat, a bird feeder, garden tools, a potted plant, lawn chair,
Wonder Woman's lasso, a box of kleenex, a box of kitten food, lamp shade, a
nail, a tube of super glue, Mickey Mouse alarm clock, a plastic egg, an IOU
from the Easter Bunny, a piggy bank, pop on Vulcan ears, clip board, AT&T
calling card, stereo speaker, a Borg greeting card, a ladies hand bag, a box
of Starfleet issued condoms (Klingon strength), Oh and one TRICORDER!
Felix looks over triumphantly. "See I knew I had it!" he glances around.
"Taran? Lt.?" he shrugs then walks off to scan some of the parts leaving the
pile on the ground, not noticing the single hand waving about near the top of
the contents of Felix's pockets.
THE END (And where the heck is Taran?)