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::::in her quarters sitting on her sofa..exhausted after working a straight
18 hour shift:::::

FstLtEvita: Computer...open Personal log....Evita Vargas

Stardate:9704.24

This is the first time since our battle with the Furies that I have had the
chance to relax and record a personal log.

There are so many dead and injured and among the reported dead is Dr. Ryder.
I was promoted to CMO after he was killed. I am saddened to have recieved
this promotion in the wake of his death, but given the circumstances, I can
understand why there was such haste to fill the position.

The Captain was injured and was treated in sickbay. It seems that it will be
a job in itself to get her to take care of herself. She disregards her own
injuries, putting the ship and crew above herself.

::closes her eyes and lays her head back on a pillow:::::

I can hear the screams of the injured and dying in my mind. This is what I
wanted to be............ a Starfleet doctor. I thought I was prepared....but
nothing can prepare you for the horror I have witnessed these last eighteen
hours. :::opens her eyes::::

A young ensign, fresh out of the Academy, died on my operating table. His
injuries were too extensive. I felt the tears in my eyes as I saw him take
his last breath.

Another young girl, she came on board when I did. LtSantos, was her name. She
died in the corridor in my arms. I can still smell the scent of her blood on
my hands. I scrubbed and scrubbed but the scent is still there. I do not know
if it really is and due to my Klingon sense of smell, I am still aware of it,
or maybe its just in my own imagination.

::::she covers her face with her hands:::::

Please, God.....help me be strong. Don't let me be so weak. Help those that
lie in sickbay and help Commander Sierra, This should be a happy timr for
her, awaiting the birth of her child.....but now it is a time of sorrow for
her, a time of mourning.

:::she furrows her tiny ridges, sits up:::::::

I am a doctor and I have been trained to harden myself against the emotions
that death brings. I can not allow my own feelings to surface. It will only
interfere in my judgement and in my ability to do my best.

The medical team that was trained by Dr. Ryder did well. I know he would have
been proud of them. I know I am. They saved alot of lives and not one
complained about the long hours and endless pain and suffering they were
witnessing. They just kept on working....without breaks, not stopping to eat
or drink. The medical team of the Darmok.......they are the heart of
Starfleet medical, the men and women who fight to save the lives of thier
fellow officers.

:::walks to her sleeping room and runs her fingers over the lines of her
dragon:::::

Akarn.......yes, Akarn.::::::a smile comes to her mouth as she remembers
him:::::

And in the midst of all this carnage....I see his handsome face, his strong
arms, his intense blue eyes. The sound of his voice, the curve of his mouth,
the scent of him. He gives me strength, just by being there, being my friend.
My life is much better because of him. I can stand all that I have witnessed
because of Akarn.

I am so afraid of how I feel. When he touches me I feel a flash of fire surge
through my body. It shocks me, scares me and I don't know how to react.....so
I push him away. Inside I long for more from him,but I can never allow him to
see this. I don't know how he feels about me, truly. He might not have the
feelings for me as I have for him. I could not stand the shame of rejection,
of making a fool of myself. I can not and will not make myself so vulnerable.

FstLtEvita: Computer....end Personal log, Evita Vargas

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ensign Kathryn Morgane
USS Darmok
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Kathryn Morgane stepped off the bridge hours after her shift had ended. In
fact, long after her second shift should have ended. She was tired and
unfocused. She longed for sleep, but knew that would have to come second
today.

As the turbolift moved slowly down the shaft, its slowness due to the
overwhelming damage the Darmok took, she let her thoughts wander, an act she
did not normally indulge in.

She thought of Sierra and Ryder, and how their parting, Ryder's death,
reminded her of the pain and loss of her own husband's death. It had been
many years ago, but the ache still lingered.

She looked up as the doors opened, almost started, but composed herself as
quickly as her vulcan features allowed her to. She strode out of the lift
and headed for the aboritum.

She took a tentative step inside, expecting it to be a mess of overturned
plants and overrun stream. But instead, she found it to be untouched by the
disaster that had ravaged the rest of the ship.

She walked over toward a tree that grew red flowers. She reached up, gently
plucking it from it's place. She brought it to her face, inhaling slowly,
allowing the sweet fragrance to relax her.

She sat down beneath the tree, crossing her legs under her. She held the
flower in both hands as she closed her eyes. She rested her elbows on her
knees, breathing the flower's scent as she inhaled.

In...........

Out.........

In...........

Out........

She cleared her mind of all thoughts, leaving behind the pain she knew Sierra
was feeling, the sadness at the loss of a crewmember, the pain she knew the
captain must feel at not being able to prevent that from occurring.

Her thoughts flew away from these past events, flying with the wind in her
mind, bringing her to a peaceful place.

There was nothing there, but hills. Deep green rolling hills that filled
with a thick white mist. It moved in slowly, covering the green grass as it
seeped in.

She stood in the middle of it, alone. There were others beyond that mist.
She wanted to go to them, offer them comfort. But she was afraid.

"Afraid?" She asked herself. "I spent all those years on Vulcan away from
my human parents to let fear run my life?"

She shuddered at the thought of spending the rest of her life alone, without
friends. But she never found the opportunity to make friends. And when they
found her, she made excuses to avoid them.

She saw the images beyond the mist. They were taking shape.

"Who's there?" She called out.

"Kathryn, it is I." Her mother spoke softly, her musical voice carrying
through the mist.

"Mother, why are you here?" Kathryn welcomed the warm presence, but
questioned anyway.

Her mother stepped out of the mist and moved toward her. "I am here because
of you. Another woman may have given birth to you, Kath, but I raised you.
I know when you need someone."

Kath smiled. "You have always been there for me, Mother."

"I am here now, because you need to realize something that your Vulcan
stubborness won't allow you to see."

The smile faded. "And that is?"

Her mother put a hand on Kath's shoulder. Her touch was icy, sending a shock
through her. Kath moved the hand off. "Please don't."

"I'm sorry, I had forgotten the sensitivity of your vulcan skin."

Kath raised an eyebrow. "For what reason do you reply this way? What is the
point of your sarcasm?"

"You rely on your vulcan side, Kathryn, but don't let it keep you away from
us." She looked at her daughter sadly. "Your husband's death has affected
you deeply, it still does, and you use this sadness to keep you away from
others. That is selfish."
** TBC **

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Kathryn's mouth dropped. "Selfish?"

"Yes, by hiding out here, using this time to 'focus', you are avoiding your
crewmates. You've completed your shifts, you've helped in some of the
repairs, and now you've nothing to do. Go out there. Talk to them. They
need you right now."

Kath just looked at her.

"You have an energy about you, a control over yourself that they do not. Use
it to help them. Use it to help yourself." Her mother began fading at that
moment.

"Wait, don't go!" Kath moved closer.

"Don't wait until it is too late, my daughter." The woman faded completely.

Kath looked up around her, seeing the flower from her hand strewn on the
floor beside her. She bit her lip in silent comtemplation.

She rose from her seat on the ground and moved toward the exit.

"Computer, where is Commander Damara?"

Computer< Commander Damara is in Engineering.

Kathryn Morgane nodded and headed out of the aboritum. "To engineering then.
It's time to pitch in and become a part of the crew. A living part."

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Ensign Matthew Sawyer, MD
Assistant Medical Officer

sd 9703.26


Doctor Matthew Sawyer stretched out his legs in the cramped
passengerquarters of the S.S. Rubenstein, a supply ship given one of the more
depressing jobs in the fleet: the return of departed officers to Earth. The
Rubenstein was making steady progress, having left Earth yesterday at 1200
hours. Sleeping on this vessel was not a luxury by any stretch of the word;
the dank smell created a humid blanket. Sighing to himself, Sawyer poked at
the shining padd in his hand, containing the specifications of the
USS Darmok. He checked the chrono; arrival at Starbase 49 was not due for
another two hours. Laying back, he was the perfect reflection of a young
Starfleet doctor: blue uniform, single, shining, gold pip on collar. He was
the only passenger on board. Three crew members shuffled down a nearby
hallway, creating a brief slice in the silence. Silence... was it death?
Sawyer had never lost a patient. Although, to be accurate, he'd never had
one. Not a "real" one, that is. He'd be damned if he was going to
ever lose one, though.

A husky crewmember dressed in a smudgy, gray jumpsuit sat down across from
him. He was probably in his late-30s but looked old enough to be a
grandfather. "Where you headed, kid?" he asked with paternal ease.

"The Darmok," Sawyer replied. The man raised his eyebrows, as though the
Darmok was a magical word.

"Never heard of it," the man retorted, "Work calls. Take care, kid... good
luck." The man left the passenger cabin, leaving Sawyer again to reflect. He
lay back and closed his eyes, drifting off into a sound sleep.

About two hours later, Sawyer was awakened by the loud bang. Quickly
checking the ship's status board, he realized that the Rubenstein had arrived
at Starbase 49. Matt stood, gathering his belongings and ducking carefully
under a low beam, and walked towards the airlock, which was anchored firmly
against the station. The airlock rolled open, and Sawyer stepped out into the
reception area. "The cargo area," he mused. A turbolift dominated the room,
and he walked toward it and entered. "Starfleet Docking
Ring." The turbolift slowly gathered speed as it rushed upwards. Stopping
without warning, the doors opened, and Sawyer found himself confronted with
three Starfleet security officers. He showed them his access card and passed
through their scanners. A kiosk stood center corridor, and walking over to
it, Sawyer noted the Darmok's slip number.

Turning, a duffel bag over one shoulder and a medical kit in the other hand,
he walked off towards the Darmok's airlock. Two security officers stood to
either side. Approaching, he presented his transfer orders and security
clearance. Before they could respond, the airlock opened behind them and a
young officer stepped through. "I'm Lieutenant Random, Doctor." Nodding to
the security officers, he offered, "He's alright. Come with me, Ensign."
Matthew followed Random through the airlock and onto the
Darmok. "You should report into to the XO and then sickbay. The executive
officer will assign you to your quarters. Sickbay is on deck five, and our
Medical Officer is First Lieutenant Evita Vargas."

Sawyer nods. "Thank you for your help, sir." Random nods and walks away.
"Now, to find the executive officer..."

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ensign Kathryn Morgane
USS Darmok
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Personal Log SD 9704.25

Ensign Kathryn Morgane remained in engineering as she started her second
shift in a row. The repairs were not yet done, and they had too many people
exhausting themselves trying to mend the broken ship.

She looked up as Commander Damara and Lieutenant Commander Yular spoke in
hushed voices in main engineering. Her sensitve Vulcan hearing easily picked
up on the conversation. They were interrupted by a hail from Captain
Johannson, whose concern was for one of the naccelles.

Yular finished up with Damara and turned toward her. "Morgane, you're with
me."

She followed him to a room where they had some work to do, but unfortunately,
he had forgotten to bring the proper tools. She went back immediately to get
it.

She dashed to the supply cabinet, but was surprised to hear a noise behind
her.

She was surprised to see Commander Damara working over the console.

~What's she doing with the shields? I thought I had already finished
repairing them.~ She nodded politely as Damara questioned her.

"I thought you were with LtCdr Yular."

"Yes, Sir, but I had to retreive some supplies." Morgane held up the
Isothermal Infuser in her hand.

Damara nodded to her. "Carry on."

Morgane nodded. "Yes, Sir." She turned quickly and headed out the door.

She met Yular back, and began the repairs he indicated. She finished them
relatively quickly, having done that kind of work before.

She heard the announcement for the memorial service and headed for the cargo
bay.

The service passed quickly, her thoughts straying to Servek, her late
husband. She held back the tears as memories of him ran through her mind,
the burial service a vivid image glued to the insides of her eyelids. She
was unable to escape the images as they came to her, pushing themselves
across her vision, tearing her heart out as the Captain and crew mumbled
around her, their words incoherent to Kathryn.

She heard "dismissed" and headed for the door. She made her way to
engineering, stumbling over her own feet, her mind struggling for control
over her emotions.

"Dammit." She mumbled as she entered engineering. "I need to focus."

She turned to one of the panels, ripping it violently off and throwing it
aside. One of the lieutenants gave her a nasty look, but she pretended not
to notice.

She got busy working on replacing some chips, allowing time to pass and her
emotions to subside.

She crawled out from under that console, a while later, and noticed that she
was the only one left in engineering. She climbed to her feet, then leaned
against the console, closing her eyes.

"Computer, begin personal log." She sighed tiredly.

Computer< You may begin.

"I promised myself that I would allow my emotions to take their course, that
I would not repress them as I was taught to do."

She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I need to maintain tighter
control over them. That memorial service was for our fallen comrades, but
the only one I thought of was my husband."

She looked down, allowing the wave of guilt to flood her mind. "I reach out
to their souls now, my thoughts with them on their journey through death. My
only hope is that they reach their deserved destination. Their deeds and
heroism in the face of danger show me what a dedicated and honorable crew
they were. May they never be forgotten."

"Computer, end log."

Kathryn pushed herself from the wall and walked slowly toward the exit.
Sleep would not come easy tonight, but she was willing to try it. After
working two shifts without eating, she at least needed sleep.

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SD9704.26
very early a.m.

"Taryn Angelique..... welcome to the world...."
Sierra lay back against the cushions of the biobed as Evita finished
the birthing process efficiently, and Janar took more pictures. She was only
concious of the tiny life she held in her arms.
~~Incredible..... so tiny, so perfect.....~~ She counted Taryn's
tiny little fingers and toes again, touched her nose ridges, smiling at the
points to Taryn's ears. Taryn blinked up at her, big emerald green eyes that
were Dare's without a doubt. ~~Nine pounds, 14 ounces..... no wonder she'd
kicked so much. It had probably been a tight fit in there!~~
Dr. Vargas smiled at the new mother and child as she completed her
medscans of the pair. "She's perfectly healthy, Sierra, and your recovery
will be quick." Evita laid her hand upon Taryn's head, stroking the fuzzy
patch of dark hair. "She's beautiful, Sierra... when you gaze into her eyes,
you will see your husband..... because he lives within her, he will always be
with you."
"Thank you, Evita." She cradled Taryn carefully, watching as the
child's eyes closed, and the baby slept contentedly, secure in her mother's
arms.
Janar stood by Sierra, smiling. Sierra turned gratefully towards her
friend. "Thank you for being here, my friend."
The cheerful Betazoid grinned widely, warpping her arms around them
and hugging her, giving Si a kiss on the cheek. "Anytime, Si.... I'm happy to
have been here for you." Her face softened. "If only Dare could see his
beautiful daughter."
Sierra nodded mutely, thinking the same thing. Janar ran her fingers
over Taryn's forehead before plucking the little stuffed warkat doll from the
stirrup and tucking it in Sierra's arm, smiling. "I'll leave you two alone
for now. But I'll be back."
She nodded as Janar left the auxillary sickbay. Evita finished
readjusting the biobed, and had her lie back comfortably, before moving a
biocradle close to the bed.
"If it's alright, Evita, I'd like to hold her a little longer."
"Of course, Sierra." The half-Klingon CMO smiled at the pair, then
moved to leave them alone as well.
Sierra kissed Taryn on the forehead before readjusting the child's
position against her. ~~Dare would be so proud, so pleased at his daughter,~~
she thought. She remembered that last saddened look as he had kissed her and
then left her escape pod. How she missed her husband. How she wished he could
see their child, hold her, the life they had created together, this precious
gift.
Taryn's hand moved in her sleep, wrapping her tiny fingers tightly
around one of Sierra's own.
"It's like you know," Sierra whispered softly, watching her
daughter sleep.

* * *

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Commander Damara Seven
First Officer, USS Darmok
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is But a Dream
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<<Joint log by Damara and Sierra.
This takes place right before Sierra has her baby.>>

Sierra sat at her desk and worked on going through a pile of personnel
folders for the deceased crew members lost in the line of duty against the
Furies. This was the part of her job that she hated the most. There was one
PADD she determinedly avoided, trying to put off the reality as long as
possible.

Damara walked down the corridor toward the counselor's office. She reached
the door and pushed the chime.

Sierra looked up. “Enter.”

Damara entered the well-kept office and saw the Counselor right away. She
noticed that Sierra somehow seemed paler, thinner than she had a week ago.
She saw that she was wearing Vulcan robes instead of her uniform, new comm
badge softly gleaming against the dark green velvet. Sierra looked tired.

“Sierra, hello.”

Sierra stood up to greet her. “Commander.”

Damara waved her hand. “Please, no need to be so formal, is there?
Especially in your condition.”

Sierra ran a hand distractedly through her hair. “No, I suppose not.
Please.... have a seat. Can I get you anything?”

Damara sat down comfortably in the chair. “No, I'm fine.”

“Okay.” Sierra sat back down, and moved the PADDs about on her desk, tidying
up.

“I appreciate your seeing me before you leave, Sierra. I know things can't
have been easy for you lately.”

Sierra looked up. “No problem, Damara. At least I didn't have to get
security to drag you in here.” She smiled faintly.

Damara nodded and smiled. “I'm very sorry about Dr. Ryder. If there's
anything I can do.....” She knew the words were empty but didn't know what
else to say.

Sierra frowned slightly. “Thank you.” She looked for Damara's personnel
file and picked up the PADD. She shook her head, eyes dark. “No that's
alright.” She sighed. “This is something I must get through on my own.”

“I understand.” Damara shifted awkwardly in the chair.

“Well, Commander, you have handled yourself very well since coming aboard the
Darmok. I wish I'd had the time to speak with you more before this
unfortunate time.”

“Yes... there just never seems to be enough time.” She crossed her legs and
leaned back.

“There rarely seems to be in Starfleet, does there?” She leaned back and
looked over Damara's record, not really expecting an answer.

Damara’s head began to throb slightly.

“I see that you served with our captain previously, on the Lothlorien.”

Damara smiled. “Ahrele? Yes, we've known each other for a very long time.”

Sierra nodded. “How are you enjoying serving with her as her XO?”

“I enjoy it very much. Ahrele and I make a good team.... we always have.”

Sierra smiled slightly, noticing for the first time the dark circles rimming
Damara's eyes. “You have certainly been there for her these past few weeks.
You look rather tired, Commander, have you been sleeping at all?”

Damara looked down at her hands in her lap. “Not really....”

Sierra arched an eyebrow as she unconciously slid a hand across her stomach.
“Care to expand on that? Is it because you've been pulling too many duty
shifts, or is it something else?”

Damara looked back up at Sierra appraisingly. “I've had trouble sleeping....
I mean, I go to sleep, but then I wake up.” Damara stood up and began pacing
nervously.

Sierra made a few notations and watched Damara pace. “Hmmm... Does something
wake you, or is it just insomnia?”

Damara stopped pacing and looked at her for a moment... deciding whether to
tell her or not.

“Let me ask you something, Counselor.”

“Go ahead, Commander.”

“Everything I say to you is held confidential, right?”

Sierra looked up somewhat surprised. “Of course.”

“I mean... if I told you something, you won't tell anyone else... even
Ahrele?” She thinks to herself.. ~~especially Ahrele.~~

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Sierra leaned forward and placed her PADD back down on the desk. “Of course
not, Damara.”

Damara took a deep breath. “All right then. I need to talk about this.”

Sierra picked up her now-cold tea and took a sip as Damara continued
speaking. “I don't understand what it means.... Or if it even means
anything.” She shook her head. “I'm not making much sense, am I?” She
walked over and looked out the viewport.

Sierra smiled. “Well, if you would tell me what it is that's bothering you,
I can tell you if you're making sense or not.”

Damara spoke quietly as she continued to stare out the viewport. “I've been
having nightmares.”

“About what?”

Damara turned around and started to pace again. “You have to understand,
Sierra.... I've never had nightmares before.”

Sierra thought about her own recent restless nights as she put down her cup.

Damara continued explaining. “In fact, I've never even dreamt before. I
always thought I couldn't... something about my Borg physiology or something.
But ever since I helped Sperol....” Damara stopped and looked at her again.
“You remember that, don't you?”

Sierra nodded. “Yes.”

Damara nodded and went on. “Well, since that night, I've been having the
nightmares.”

Sierra made a mental note that she needed to see Sperol again. ~~After you
get back, Si. It can wait.~~ She turned her attention back to Damara. “Are
you absolutely certain that it was impossible for you to dream before?”

“No... I don't know that it was impossible. I just never did.” She walked
over and leaned against a bulkhead, looking out at the stars as she spoke.
“They all start out differently... the dreams.... but they end up the
same.... exactly the same.... every time.”

“How so?”

Damara closed her eyes. “This is difficult to explain, Counselor.”

“Try your best.”

Damara opened her eyes again and stared outside... her voice in a monotone.
“As I said, they start out differently each time. But at some point in the
dream, I find myself inside of a ship. Somehow... in the way of dreams.... I
know that I'm in the innermost chamber of the ship.”

“Any particular ship?”

Damara stopped when she heard the question. She bit her lip and replied
quietly, her voice almost a whisper. “A Borg ship.” She glanced over to see
Sierra’s reaction.

Sierra watched the Commander's body language. There was a long pause as
Sierra considered this. “I see.” Sierra carefully kept her face
expressionless, a practiced look of Vulcan impassiveness.

Damara sighed and looked back outside. “There's more.... There's a screen of
some type, where I can see the Darmok outside of the Borg ship. As I watch,
the Darmok explodes. Then I turn around and the entire Darmok crew is there,
staring at me.”

“In the Borg ship?”

Damara’s reply was almost a whisper. “Yes.”

“Have they been assimilated?”

Damara nodded. “All except for Ahrele.”

“What happened to her?” Sierra asked dryly.

“One of the Borg bring Ahrele in front of me. Ahrele tells me -- ‘Don't do
it, Damara!’ One of the Borg start to assimilate her and I reply,
‘Resistance is futile.’ The look in her eyes is one I never hope to see in
real life. The betrayal.....it's just too much.”

Damara continued speaking, the words tumbling out quickly as she remembered
the images from her dreams. “And then the dream suddenly changes. I'm
falling.......I fall into some water and I keep sinking......I'm drowning.”

Sierra quietly took notes as she listened to Damara.

Damara leaned her head against the glass. “That's usually when I wake up.”
She went over and lay down on the couch.

“Do you feel that you are not serving this crew well?”

Damara frowned. “No, of course not.” She sat up.

“During our Captain's... recovery time you had to lead the ship. How did you
feel about that time?”

“How did I feel?” She thought for a minute. “I felt confident. We have an
excellent crew. I had to do very little. They all knew their jobs and did
them well.”

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“I think you handled it very well, Commander. Of course that's just my humble
opinion.”

Damara smiled. “Thank you. But I was happy to see Ahrele back in charge
again.”

Sierra tapped her PADD. “How did you feel about that whole incident? That
was right before your meld with Sperol, correct?”

“Yes, it was. I felt afraid for Ahrele, of course. I thought she was dead
at one point, you know.”

“We all did. What would you have done if she was?”

“If she had really died?”

Sierra nodded.

Damara frowned. “I don't know... it's hard to say. I mean she didn't die...
so there's no point in talking about that, is there?”

Sierra settled back in her chair. “It's a consideration. And I am
interested in your reactions. You were faced with the possibility that she
was indeed dead. And that would have left you in command of this vessel.
Also I have seen that you two appear to be very good friends ” She continued
gently. ”It would be difficult, I imagine, to step into your friend's shoes
in that manner.”

Damara tried to remember her feelings. “I remember I was angry.

“What were you angry about?”

“I was angry at the man who I thought killed her of course. But...” She
hestitated. “I was also angry at Ahrele...... for going to the depot....
for getting caught.... for.....” Damara’s throat caught and she looked down.
“for dying.”

“Perhaps you were angry that she left you alone?”

Damara nodded and tears formed. “That was part of it. I think I was angry
at myself, too.” She bit her lip. “For not being there for her.... for not
preventing it from happening.” Damara suddenly looked up as a light dawned.
“Just like in the dream!”

Sierra nodded and felt a pain as she thought about not being able to stop
Dare's death either. “Can you remember the last time you felt this
helplessness?”

Damara wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She thought back. “At the
academy.....”

Sierra grimly pushed the thought down and managed to keep her expression
even. She glanced down at the personnel record again as Damara continued.

“I had fallen in the water. Borgs can't swim, you know.. something about
the body fat ratio”

Sierra looked up, one eyebrow arching. “No, I didn't know that.” She smiled
slightly.

“I almost drowned. There was nothing I could do. I would have died if Cody
hadn't dived in after me.”

“Hmmm... you mentioned drowning in your dream.” She checked her notes.

Damara nodded. “Yes, that's how they all end. I wake up.... drenched in
sweat.”

“Interesting....” She tapped at the PADD again. “Do you feel in control of
yourself most of the time, Commander?”

Damara stood up and walked over to the replicator. She thought about
Sierra’s question. She got some water and sat back down on the couch. “Yes,
I believe so.”

“I see on the Odyssey that you had your own personal power unit installed.”

Damara nodded and smiled as she remembered her friends.

“What can you tell me about your seperation from the Borg collective?”

“Not much... I really don't remember anything about being in the Collective.”

“Mmm, I wonder...” She looked over her notes, frowning slightly. “Aside
from your dreams, do you ever have thoughts about them?”

Damara took a drink of her water... the cool liquid felt good on her throat.
She shook her head and replied firmly. “No, never.”

Sierra nodded. “You were stationed aboard the Odyssey at the time of the
last attack on sector one, correct?”

“Yes, I believe so.” She wondered where this questioning was headed and put
down the glass. “What's that got to do with my dreams?”

“Just exploring different lines of thought, Commander. Did the Odyssey
participate in the defense?”

Damara lay down again.. feeling very tired. She put an arm over her eyes.
“No, they didn't. I don't remember where we were, but it was too far away to
get there in time. Since I was separated, I haven't been in contact with any
Borg... if that's what you're thinking.”

“Yes, actually, I was."

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

“The Collective thinks I'm dead. They have no reason to contact me.”

“Are you so sure?” She arched an eyebrow. “I’m looking for something that
perhaps would have stimulated these dreams of you returning to the
Collective.”

Damara shrugged her shoulders. “It is a constant fear of mine. That part is
easy.”

Sierra got up and walked with her used cup over to the reclimator. She
tossed it in and then turned to the replicator. “Tea, hot, China Oolong.”
She took the fresh cup. “What about the mindmeld with Sperol? Do you recall
much about that?” She turned and walked over to a more comfortable chair
than her desk seat.

Damara put her arm down by her side and looked up at the ceiling. “I remember
everything.”

Sierra smiled. “Tell me what you remember.”

“When I established the link, I was able to connect directly with his
subconscious. I could see him and talk to him and he could see me. At first
he thought I was a part of his imagination and wouldn't believe it was really
me. But I convinced him, and got him to go with me. When he touched my hand,
that's when we both returned to consciousness. It had taken almost all of my
power to help him.”

Sierra nodded. “I recall looking at Evita's reports on the procedure.”

Damara sat up and picked up the glass again. She took another drink and
rolled the glass back and forth in her hands. “So, tell me, Counselor. How
can I make the dreams stop?”

Sierra felt a pretty good kick in her abdomen, momentarily distracted. She
looked up. “My thought is that your meld with Sperol has tapped into a part
of your brain previously repressed or perhaps genetically altered. Your
dreams sound typical of somebody who finds themselves in a command position.”

Damara listened carefully.

“Your subconcious fears or insecurities are relating themselves to you in
your dreams. In your case, you had not previously experienced dreams,
however, I believe due to your meld with Sperol you now have this ability.”

Damara nodded and replied wryly. “Lucky me.”

“Have you had any other dreams, or just these nightmares?”

Damara shook her head. “Only the nightmares that I can recall.”

“Dreaming is not so ...” Sierra paused to think about what she was saying,
thinking about her own nightmares from the past few nights. “.... not so
bad, Damara. Dreams can help us relieve stress, find solutions to problems,
and help us face our fears.” She swallowed a sip of tea with difficulty.

“All they've done for me so far is make me lose some much needed sleep. So
you think the nightmares will go away eventually?”

Sierra tilted her head to the side as she rolled her teacup in her hands. “I
would like to say yes. Of course, I cannot say that your dreaming will go
away entirely. This will be something new for you to learn to deal with.”

Damara set her now empty glass down, nodded and stood up. “Thank you,
Counselor. You've been a big help. I feel much better. I have some things I
need to be doing in Engineering, so if you’ll excuse me?”

Sierra nodded as she stood. “I understand. Thank you for coming in. I hope
that we can speak more once I have returned.”

Damara nodded. “In case I don't see you again before you leave, have a nice
trip.” She smiled.

“Thank you... I shall try.”

Damara turned and exited the office.

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Commander Damara Seven
First Officer, USS Darmok
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I, Borg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damara sat in her office and tried to focus on her work. The ship was eerily
quiet as it was late at night -- or anyway what passed for night aboard a
starship -- and most of the crew were sleeping. She sighed and leaned back in
her chair. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Her head never
seemed to stop hurting anymore. There were times when the pain was so slight
as to be nonexistent, but now was most definitely not one of those times.

Once again she turned her attention to the PADD in front of her. She tried
to concentrate -- a slight matter of assigning crew quarters -- but she
couldn’t think, couldn’t make a simple decision. She tossed the PADD down in
disgust and the clatter as it landed on her desk echoed through her head and
made it pound all the more.

She leaned her elbows on her desk and put her face in her hands. ~~I’m so
tired. I wish I could sleep... even for just a couple of hours.~~ She
crossed her arms and put her head down on them. ~~So tired....~~ She
started to drift off to sleep and then suddenly jerked her head up and looked
around.

(Whispers)

She could have sworn someone said something to her. But she could see there
was no one in her office. She stood up and walked over to her door. It
sounded the familiar “swoosh” as it opened and she stepped out into the
corridor. Immediately, the voices stopped. She looked up one way and then
the other, but there was no one there. There was nothing to explain the
noises she had heard.

She went back in her office and lay down on her couch, throwing her arm over
her eyes and hoping that she could fall asleep, and that if she did fall
asleep, that the dreams wouldn’t come again. The dreams had been haunting her
for awhile now -- since she had helped to bring Thomas Sperol out of his coma
in fact. Dr. Ryder had told her at the time that there could be some side
effects to the procedure and she presumed the dreams were exactly that.
Sierra had given her some reassurances that the dreams
were normal. But when would they end? And why were they so sinister... so
frightening?

(Whispers)

Damara bolted upright. There it was again! It couldn’t be her
imagination... it was too real. Someone had to be out there. She exited out
into the corridor again. This time the voices continued. They seemed to be
coming from the officer’s mess and Damara burst through the double doors.
Again, the voices stopped abruptly.

Jonathan Yular had been sitting by himself in the officer's mess. He put his
coffee down. ~~Boy sure is quiet.~~ He smiles. ~~Just the way I like it.~~
Looks over PADD.

As Damara entered the room, she spotted Yular sitting by himself with a PADD
in his hand.

“You!” She exclaimed, pointing at him accusingly.

Surprised, the Chief Engineer looked up from his reports. “Me?”

Damara looked around the empty room. “Well, I don't see anyone else here.”
She retorted angrily.

“What have I done now?”

“Are you playing some kind of a joke, Commander? Because I don't think it's
very funny.”

Yular looked confused. “Joke?”

Damara looked him up and down and an idea occurred to her. “Yes.... of
course... you're an engineer.”

“I am sitting in here drinking coffee, I don't think it is funny either.”

Damara ignored him and continued talking as the new idea formed. “You could
fix the comm systems somehow.... make it sound like there are noises in my
office.”

“Of course I could fix the comm systems! What is wonrg? Noises? Are you
feeling okay?”

Damara slammed her hand on the table. “No, I'm not feeling okay! This has
gone far enough! I can't sleep....I can't work.... I want you to make it
stop!”

“Make what stop?” He has a bewildered look on his face.

Damara picked him up by his jacket with her left hand. She shoved him up
against the wall. “You know exactly what I mean!”

“Ufff”

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Random exited the turbolift on his way to the Officer's mess. He walked down
the corridor. He entered the mess and saw Yular and Damara having a
discussion.

“You hate Borg, don't you? You've hated me since I came on this ship... and
this is your way of getting back at me!”

Yular brushed off his uniform and looked at her. “Just what the HELL are you
talking about?! I haven't done anything!”

Damara sneered. “Stop playing innocent. As of right now, the noises stop...
understand?”

“What??”

Random looked very surprised. “Uh...excuse me....”

Damara glanced at Random and let go of Yular. He dropped about a foot to the
ground.

Random looked around nervously. “I...uh....I'll eat later.” He turned and
left quickly.

Damara realized what she'd done. She backed away from Yular. “I'm... I'm
sorry...” She shook her head. “I don't know what got into me.”

Yular exploded. “SORRY!!! You're sorry!”

Damara put her hands to her temples. “You have every right to be angry with
me. I... well, I haven't got much sleep lately.”

“You accuse me of creating voices then you assault me and you're sorry? I
think you better get to sickbay.”

Damara nodded. “Yes, of course, you're right.”

“Well, I have to get a clean uniform now that my coffee is spilled. If you'll
excuse me, Commander.”

Damara didn't know what to say so she said nothing.

Yular mumbled on his way out the door.

Damara watched him leave and turned around to look out the window. ~~What is
wrong with me?~~

She picked up the chair that had overturned when she had grabbed Yular. She
put it back in its place and looked around the empty room. ~~I’ve got to get
hold of myself.~~ She sighed heavily and walked over to the replicator.
“One water, room temperature.”

She picked up the glass and moved over to gaze out the viewport. ~~I’ll talk
to Yular tomorrow and apologize again.~~ Her reflection looked solemnly back
at her and she shook her head. ~~I look awful. With those dark circles under
my eyes, I look like a Denebian coon cat.~~

(whispers)

Suddenly, her reflection began changing. A swirl of colors formed in the
middle of it and slowly expanded outwards. When the swirling stopped, her
image gazed back at her coldly. An image that no longer wore a Starfleet
uniform and now had a Borg eyepiece -- it was the way she looked before she
left the Collective -- when she was known only as Seven of Seven.

“NO!” She cried out in fear and disgust. Without realizing it, she gripped
her water glass so tightly that it broke and the pieces of glass dug into her
hand. When the pain finally began to register, she looked down, stared
mutely at her hand and watched the blood drip slowly on to the floor. When
she finally looked back up at the viewport, her image had returned to normal.

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

The Bajor Journals
Part 1 : Every Journey Starts With a Single Step

SD9704.26
0730 hrs

Sierra was getting ready to leave Sickbay. Thank goodness for medical
improvements of the 24th century. Commander Rydelik Da'rell had some to
escort her to Bajor on the USS Cuautemoc; he was due back at any time. She
was vaguely aware that he'd been there at some point during the birth, but
the whole birthing process was a blur to her right now.
Janar was with her, having returned after getting some sleep for
herself. Sierra smiled, watching Jan fuss over Taryn in her biocradle.
The Sickbay doors slid open, admitting the handsome Commander with
the unique eyes. She remembered Dare speaking well of Rydelik. They had been
guardians of Talis Jalika, Rydelik's daughter, for a few months. He strode
over, and presented a wooden box with Bajoran script on the outside to
Sierra.
Sierra accepted it, turning the box over in her hands and trying to
make out the script. She recognized Dare's signature, but not much else.
Janar glanced at Rydelik, not quite sure what to make of him.
Rydelik said calmly, "On behalf of the Bajoran Provisional Government
and Major Darryl Ryder, I present you with this box. It is the Major's wish
that you have this." He looked at her sadly and continued, "As Executor of
the Ryder Estate on Bajor I will conduct you to Bajor."
Evita came in to run some final scans, catching Rydelik's words, and
smiled at the Commader while Jan peered at the box in interest.
Sierra frowned slightly, feeling an odd combination of emotions
welling within her again. "Yes, Commander, I received your message. I'm about
ready." Rydelik nodded, his eyes changing to a rainbow-hued white.
Janar concentrated on the box in Sierra's hands, eyes narrowing as
she looked at it. ~~What's in the box?~~ She moved closer for a better look.
Sierra looked up at Jan hanging over her shoulder, face wrung in
concentration. Her own features crinkled into a smile. "You want me to open
it eh?"
Jan looked at Si and blushed. "Only if you want to . . . I don't care
either way...." Her voice betrayed her excitement. Sierra looked up at the
Commander, then looked down at the box and pulled it open.
Sierra looked in, confused. "Isolinear chips?" She took one out,
looking back up at the Commander.
Janar frowned, having missed the initial part of the conversation
between Sierra and Rydelik. ~~ No flowers? No jewels? For that delivery
she should have the Hope diamond!~~
Sierra put the chip carefully back in the box, and tried again to
read the script on the outside of box.
Rydelik expressed surprise. "You didn't know what was in it?"
"No.... I speak better Bajoran than I read it. Dare was teaching
me...." She trailed off.
The Commander nodded in understanding, finally remembering Dare
mentioning it. "They're from Darryl." His tone was gentle.
"Thank you, Commander." She placed the lid back in place. "I'll
have to look at them later."
"Are you ready to go?"
Sierra nodded. "Yes, I am." She gave Janar and Evita big hugs before
leaving.
"Take care of Sickbay, Doctor."
"I will, Sierra. You take care of youself and little Taryn." Evita
smiled as Sierra carefully lifted her baby from the cradle.
Sierra turms to her friend Janar and smiles sadly. Jan bites her
lips to try to keep the tears from coming. They look at each other for a
moment saying nothing. Slowly Jan takes a step towards her and embraces her
and the baby in a big hug.
~~ I'll miss you, Si. Take care of yourself. I am always here,
remember that.~~
The tears finally come as she lets go of her friend. Sierra nods,
too full of emotion to speak. They understand each other well enough to know
that no amount of distance between them can break their friendship.
<continued, next post>

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

<continued from previous post>

Rydelik stood, holding the box, waiting to escort her to his ship, as
Sierra turned and nodding, indicating she was ready. He bowed to the women,
then led Sierra towards the station and the waiting starship.



"Welcome aboard the USS Cuautemoc."
"Thank you, Commander." Sierra adjusted Taryn in her arms carefully
as they walked down the corridor into the ship.
"As you can see it is an Ambassador-Class vessel, with a few
modifications."
Sierra nodded, glad that some Ensign had taken care of her luggage,
as Rydelik led her to her quarters. "These quarters have been set aside for
you."
"Thank you, Commander." Sierra looked around at the comfortable
surroundings.
"I regret to inform you that a security guard will be placed outside
your door. It is just standard operating proceedures on a SFI vessel." He
placed the box from Dare down on the end table.
Sierra nodded as she moved to sit on the couch. "That is all right
... I understand."
"If you need anything let me know."
"Thank you, Commander. I will do that."
He bowed and headed out the door towards the bridge. The doors slid
shut, and Sierra looked down at the baby sleeping peacefully in her arms,
thinking about the time ahead of her on Bajor. She had thought that having
been seperated from Dare these last several weeks would have made it easier
on her, but instead it made it worse, knowing they could have had more time
together.
She still had their daughter though; their precious, beautiful child.
Taryn may have had some of Sierra's own features, but Si could see Dare in
her face. She remembered an old Terran ballad, the words straying into her
mind as she watched her child sleep.
"Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen.... It may be quite
simple but now that it's done, I hope you don't mind that I put down in
words, how wonderful life is while you're in the world......."

* * *

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Akarn leaned back on his bed,his thoughts going over the past few
days.He also found himself thinking of those he hadnt seen in awhile.Why is
it he wondered death or hardship always made you think of loved ones.Perhaps
he would ask the counsolor if this was normal,he hadnt much experience when
it came to death of any kind.He knew it could have easily been him as anyone
else,he was one of the lucky ones.
Lucky ones he almost cringed at that what if he wasnt as fortunate next
time.What if he were to die would he be missed like Doctor Ryder or would he
just be another statistic.Sitting up abruptly he shook his head,trying to get
his blue eyes to focus~Why am I even thinking of this~.Standing he quickly
changed into shorts heading out the door,he had to get his mind off of its
current thought track.He took off down the corridor ,up one ladder,down
another ,running down corridor after corridor trying
to avoid those he passed.Still he ran but found his mind still dwelled on
the questioned what if he had died,had he contributed enough in this life
time.
Deciding he couldnt out run himself he slowed,his chest heaved as he
tried to catch his breath.Perhaps his father was right about emotions,they
cut him deep this time and he didnt like what he was feeling. He walked
slowly trying to come to grips with his emotions,he had to walk for a long
time.

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

::Sperol is standing at the door of sickbay.::

Evita: ...and don't physically exert yourself. You've been through a lot.
Sperol: Yes, Doctor. Again, thank you for everything.
Evita: All part of the service.

::Sperol goes through the door. He passes by Dr. Ryder as he leaves.::

Sperol: Thanks.
Ryder: You're welcome.

::Sperol leaves and hops on a turbolift.::

Deck 6.

::Sperol enters his quarters for the first time since SD 9702.28.::

~~More than a month...~~

::From asking Dr. Vargas, Sperol knows that he had been in a coma for at
least 3 weeks and possibly more from before the Darmok rescued him. Sperol
had been found in a cave, alone and physically undamaged. Mentally,
however... Sperol reaches to a console, presses a button, and dictates a
message: ::

"
Intraship Memo:

To: Lieutenant Commander Sierra Rhydarr
From: First Lieutenant Thomas Sperol
Subj: A Session

In light of recent events - and considering the amnesia I seem to have
concerning those events - you (being the ship's counselor) are undoubtedly
ready to pounce upon me to schedule some sort of counseling session. I will
beat you to it. I am REQUESTING one.

I am free at all times, for I am not on duty.

-----
FsLt Thomas Sperol
Assistant Chief Engineer
USS Darmok
"

::Sperol sighs and sends the message. As he sends it, he notices the pile of
messages waiting for him.::

~~Great...~~

::One of the titles catches his eye: "URGENT! IMPORTANT! READ ASAP!" He opens
the message. It is from Lt (j.g.) Random.::

"
Intership Memo:

To: First Lieutenant Thomas Sperol
From: Lieutenant, j.g., Eybe Random
Subj: A tricorder

I am happy to hear you are back on your feet.

We found a tricorder on your person when we t saw it.

-----
Lt, j.g., Eybe Random
Handyman
USS Darmok
"

::Sperol jumps up and leaves his quarters without looking at his other
messages.::

::LCdr Yular and LTj Random are in Engineering.::

Yular: ::points at schematic:: What does that mean to you?
Random: Theta-band emissions?
Yular: Right.

::Sperol enters Engineering.::

Yular: Thomas! Thought you were off-duty.
Sperol: I am, but I got Random's message. About the tricorder?
Yular: Oh, yes, of course!
Random: I'll get it. ::exits Engineering::
Sperol: So... how's the Darmok?
Yular: Oh, yeah, you missed some things that happened.
Sperol: Like what?
Yular: Uh... the Tamarian bomb threat, for one.
Sperol: What happened?
Yular: Well...

::Before Yular can finish his sentence, Random walks back in.::

Random: ::holds up a tricorder:: Here.
Yular: OK, let's see it!
Random: Computer, link with this tricorder and download its contents.
Computer> Download complete.
Yular: Display it.

::The following is displayed: ::

<<NOTE: The contents of the tricorder have been removed from this log for
dramatic purposes.>>

::After staring at it for a while and interpreting, Yular speaks up.::

Yular: This looks pretty important.
Sperol: Yeah, I'd say so.
Yular: +tap+ Yular to bridge.
Damara> +Yular+ Commander Damara here.
Yular: +Damara+ We have some interesting information concerning FsLt Sperol
here.
Damara> +Yular+ From where?
Yular: +Damara+ The tricorder we found on him.
Damara> +Yular+ Tricorder??
Yular: +Damara+ You don't remember a tricorder?
Damara> +Yular+ No, I don't.

::Yular looks at Random, who smiles apologetically.::

Yular: +Damara+ Anyway, it might be important.
Damara: +Yular+ Meet me in the conference room at 1800 hours. We'll discuss
it then. And bring Sperol.
Yular: +Damara+ Acknowledged. Yular out.

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

::Evita enters Engineering.::

Evita: Chief Yular, I... Lt1 Sperol?!?
Sperol: I can explain...
Evita: Explain?!? I thought I told you you were off-duty.
Sperol: I am, but... OK, you're right. I shouldn't be here yet.
Evita: I'll say!

::Sperol goes over to Random while Evita gets something from Yular. Both
Sperol and Evita leave Engineering at the same time. They enter a
turbolift.::

Evita: Deck 5.
Sperol: Deck 6.
Evita: No more distractions, Lt1. Or do I need to keep you in sickbay?
::smiles::
Sperol: I don't think so. No distractions?
Evita: No. None.
Sperol: ::shrugs:: OK.

::The turbolift's doors open to Deck 6. Sperol walks out.::

Evita: ::as the doors start to close:: Except the wedding, of course.

::Sperol sticks his arm in the doors, causing them to snap back open.::

Sperol: What??
Evita: The wedding!
Sperol: What wedding??
Evita: ::realizes that Sperol wouldn't know:: LCdr Yular and Janar... they're
getting married.
Sperol: When??
Evita: Tomorrow night.
Sperol: ::looks a little distressed:: Thanks for your information.
Evita: Looks like you missed some things when you were unconscious.
Sperol: So I am told.

::Sperol lets the doors close.::

~~Married?? Can it be?~~

::Sperol hurries to his quarters, where he now scans through the messages.
And yes, there is one called "Wedding Plans."::

~~Wedding. Did I dream of a wedding?~~

<>

::Yular and Sperol enter the room. Commander Damara is already there. Sperol
takes out the tricorder.::

Computer, download any information stored on this tricorder.
Computer> Working.
Computer, display its contents.

::The following is displayed: ::

> vcal biological laboratory #1 keystroke logs
> gtalli translator active
>
> activate terminal
> access experiment #20394
> id #6730184
> set priority level 1A1
> list inventory
> send message "request vcalnap check experiment #20934" to vcal time
laboratory
> send message "request invocation of clause 3 of linear time disruption law
#43" to vcal time laboratory
> send message "reception gtalli mechanical engineer" to vcal engineering
station #1
> access video logs
> show video logs experiment #20934
> send message "begin tests experiment #20934" to room #237
> send message "death equals nonexistence experiment #20934" to room #237
> show video feed experiment #20934
> record feed into message to room #237
> prefix message with "subject unconscious experiment #20934"
> send message "request gtalli psychologist" to vcal medical station #1
> send message "request vcalli psychologist" to vcal medical station #1
> make alias experiment #20934 "Sperol"
> send message "request biological device #3" to room #2
> send message "prepare for procedure #594 Sperol Sperol" to room #237
> send remote command "begin test #6 Sperol" to computer #237
> id #6730345
> override security measures
> send remote command "begin execution suffocation Sperol" to computer #237
> send remote command "send message "eta death Sperol" to computer #42" to
computer #237
> deactivate terminal
>
>
> vcal law enforcement keystroke logs
> gtalli translator active
>
> activate terminal
> send message "verify apprehension vcal #6730345" to room #1
> access records #6730345
> make new entry
> set field 1 to "offense: life-cease attempt on experiment #20934"
> set field 2 to "sentence: #6730345 life-cease"
> access biological experiment #20934
> make alias experiment #20934 "Sperol"
> set status Sperol "alive"
> deactivate terminal

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Damara: What... what is this?
Yular: As far as we can tell, it is information downloaded from a computer.
Note the "keystroke logs" lines.
Damara: From where?
Sperol: We don't know... but I suspect it is from the planet.
Damara: The one you were...
Sperol: Yes.
Damara: But we didn't detect any life on that planet, much less computers.
Yular: We don't have an explanation for that yet. Maybe the installation was
underground, shielded from our sensors by some unknown substance. And we
didn't know about the alien ship before it attacked either, if you remember.
Sperol: Wait... alien ship?
Damara: After you were kidnapped, an alien ship warned us away. We did go
away, but only because the alien ship had tactical systems surpassing our
own.
Sperol: I thought LT1 Trent had said there was no intelligent life in this
system. And if these aliens were around when the Klingons mined, why didn't
they drive them away??
Damara: I suspect we will have to speak to Ms. Trent about that ourselves.
But back to this tricorder...
Yular: Yes, a careful analysis of the text bears some... interesting...
insights.
Damara: Explain.
Yular: Observe the following line.

> vcal biological laboratory #1 keystroke logs
> gtalli translator active

Yular: A few things may be garnered from this. "Biological laboratory #1."
This, or another place that appears later, is probably where Sperol was held.
As for "vcal," that could mean a lot of things. "gtalli translator" looks
like it indicates that gtalli is a language of some sort, but... You'll see.
Next...

> access experiment #20394

Yular: Look down and you'll find this line:

> make alias experiment #20934 "Sperol"

Yular: This means that #20934 was the internal designation for Mr. Sperol.
Next...

> id #6730184

Yular: This could mean just about anything, but we're guessing it's a
password of some sort.

> set priority level 1A1

Yular: We're going on the assumption that "1A1" is a high priority.
Sperol: So it looks like whatever they were doing to me was important.

> list inventory
> send message "request vcalnap check experiment #20934" to vcal time
laboratory
> send message "request invocation of clause 3 of linear time disruption law
#43" to vcal time laboratory
> send message "reception gtalli mechanical engineer" to vcal engineering
station #1

Yular: Here things start to get interesting. "list inventory" is
self-explanatory. We don't know what "vcalnap" means, but "vcal time
laboratory" and "linear time disruption..."
Damara: Time travel experiments? But what does that have to do with Sperol?
Yular: Don't know. And "gtalli mechanical engineer" shows that gtalli is
probably not a language, but a culture or ethnicity or possibly different
species.

> access video logs
> show video logs experiment #20934
> send message "begin tests experiment #20934" to room #237
> send message "death equals nonexistence experiment #20934" to room #237
> show video feed experiment #20934
> record feed into message to room #237
> prefix message with "subject unconscious experiment #20934"

Yular: "Video logs" are probably previous video taped sessions. Apparently,
the user of the computer is looking at what Sperol's progression had been.
"Begin tests..." well...
Damara: Yes, go on.
Yular: "Death equals nonexistence." NO idea what that means. "Video feed" is
probably a live shot of Sperol. And "subject unconscious" shows that Sperol
was unconscious at the time.
Damara: What about "room #237?"
Sperol: Probably the designation for the room I was in.

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

> send message "request gtalli psychologist" to vcal medical station #1
> send message "request vcalli psychologist" to vcal medical station #1
> make alias experiment #20934 "Sperol"
> send message "request biological device #3" to room #2
> send message "prepare for procedure #594 Sperol Sperol" to room #237
> send remote command "begin test #6 Sperol" to computer #237

Yular: Psychologists. Maybe they needed them to study how Sperol's mind
worked. Also, note again "gtalli" and "vcalli." "vcalli" is probably the
adjective form of "vcal," supporting the hypothesis that "gtalli" and
"vcalli" are separate groups. "Biological device #3," "procedure #594," and
"test #6" probably related to the tests they were conducting on Sperol.
Damara: Everything seems to point to the theory that these aliens were just
curious about Sperol.
Yular: Just wait.

> id #6730345
> override security measures
> send remote command "begin execution suffocation Sperol" to computer #237
> send remote command "send message "eta death Sperol" to computer #42" to
computer #237

Sperol: The new ID number shows that someone else was probably using the
computer. "Begin execution suffocation..."
Damara: Someone tried to kill you?
Sperol: Looks that way. But things get better...

> vcal law enforcement keystroke logs
> gtalli translator active

Yular: This was obviously taken from the security logs.

> send message "verify apprehension vcal #6730345" to room #1

Sperol: See the "#6730345?" It's the same ID number as the person who
attempted to kill me. "Apprehension..." He was probably doing what he did
illegally.

> access records #6730345
> make new entry
> set field 1 to "offense: life-cease attempt on experiment #20934"
> set field 2 to "sentence: #6730345 life-cease"

Yular: This appears to be an entry for the books of their internal security.
Apparently, #6730345 is going to be put to death for his actions.

> access biological experiment #20934
> make alias experiment #20934 "Sperol"
> set status Sperol "alive"

Sperol: And this shows I'm still alive. That's it.
Damara: Gentlemen... this shows us that these aliens were just finding out
the unknown by capturing Sperol (except that renegade #6730345)...
Sperol: Wait.
Damara: ::not used to being interrupted:: Yes, LT1?
Sperol: I'm not so sure that what these aliens were doing was for a good
cause. Maybe they wanted to probe for weaknesses or something. What I do know
is that I had dreams. Strange, somehow terrifying dreams. And those dreams
have to do with this.
Damara: How?
Sperol: I don't know. It's a gut feeling.
Damara: You may be right, there may be more to this than meets the eye. For
example... what of the telepathy?
Yular: Sir?
Sperol: As you may or may not know, Chief, the telepathic center of my brain
(normally gone unused, for I am not telepathic) has been under external
influence. In fact, it still is. Dr. Vargas has managed to block the waves
with anesthezine... although she tells me it is only a temporary solution.
Damara: A more permanent one being...
Sperol: We don't know.

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Computer, open personal log.
Computer> Begin when ready.

I can't tell whether that session was completely useless or completely
insightful. She said to relax, to let the memories drift back. I don't want
the memories back. I don't want them to come to me in the middle of night and
infiltrate my dreams, torturing me once again.

Speaking of dreams, I haven't had ANY since recovering from the coma. I guess
that's a good thing...

::remembers the wedding:: Oh, yes, the wedding! Beautiful ceremony,
interesting party (with live entertainment, even!). I can't believe that they
tied the knot, Jonathan and Katerina, that is. ::shakes his head slowly::

And, personally, what have I been doing? This is a personal log after all,
isn't it? Well, I haven't been doing much, although to kill time I have been
running computer simulations of a shuttle escaping from the Darmok and the
best possible route for that shuttle to escape. It could be useful
information to know if, say, a Maquis terrorist got some important
information from the Darmok and decided to escape in a shuttlecraft. These
tests could show the paths that we should be ready to defend against.

Other than that, I haven't been doing too much. I much preferred being on
duty. At least I had something constructive to do.

Computer, close personal log.
Computer> Log closed.

::Sperol sits down. He notices a PADD sitting on a table. Curious, he picks
it up and reads its contents.::

"
Duty/Personal Log
SD Unknown

This is LT Thomas Sperol speaking. As far as I can tell, I am unconscious,
but self-aware. This is being recorded on something that doesn't even exist.

I don't remember much of anything from the past... past what? I can't tell
how time passes here. It has felt like weeks. The last real thing I remember
was being on that planet and then being taken away from the away team. I just
know that something happened between then and now. I just know.

I've also been seeing that ball of light. It has done disturbing things.

I don't know what to think now. I just don't know what to think.

I would talk to the Counselor, but somehow... ::looks around:: that doesn't
seem likely.

Let's go back...

I was setting up the pattern enhancers for the away team in case we needed to
beam away. ::sighs:: LT - what was her name, KNuChi? - said she felt
something. I had ignored her at the time. I had thought that Amber's story
had gone to her head. Well, looks like she was right, because now I'm here.
Wherever here is.

I also have some irrational desire to see Dr. Rhydarr. Why?? What does the
Doctor have anything to do with this??

::sighs again:: Well, at least I haven't gone crazy yet. At least, I don't
*think* I've gone crazy. Maybe I am. Maybe I always have been.

No, no, no. There must be a way out of here. ::looks around, then suddenly
galvanized by passion:: I will NOT give in!
"

~~Wait... wait... something is familiar about this... It looks like... It
looks like I wrote it during a dream!~~

::Sperol thinks back to the dreams he can only vaguely remember. He does not
remember recording a log.::

~~But how did it get here??~~

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

::Sperol opens his eyes. They begin to focus and register the image in front
of him. It is a familiar image.

The ceiling of sickbay.::

~~Again?!?~~

::Sperol tries to turn his head and, to his great surprise, succeeds. He sees
Ensign Smith standing right there.::

Smith: FLt... Calm down!
Sperol: I am calm.
Smith: Not according to these readings...
Sperol: But I'm calm!
Smith: No, you're not! See? ::points at the readouts::
Sperol: Who cares what the readings say?!? I'm calm, all right?
Smith: You are considerably agitated!!
Sperol: I am not!!
Smith: Fine! Have it your way! You're calm!!
Sperol: Damn straight!

::Sperol had won the argument, but somehow, he did not feel a triumph.::

Sperol: What happened?
Smith: Do you remember the Furies? The attack?
Sperol: ::thinks:: Vaguely. The last thing I remember is... seeing... a...
wall.
Smith: Yes, well, anyway... Commander Damara brought you in here quite some
time ago. You were suffering from a...
Sperol: Am I OK now?
Smith: Yes, but...
Sperol: Good. ::gets up and starts to walk out::
Smith: But, but...

::Sperol exits sickbay, enters a TL, and calls out a random deck.::

::Sperol exits the TL and begins walking. As he strolls easily through the
halls, he passes by an ensign. Strange thing is, Sperol prides himself on
knowing every single crewmember.... but who was this?!? The (phantom?) person
goes into a turbolift before Sperol can ask anything of him.::

~~Hmmm...~~

::Sperol, undeterred, continues on his course. But he passes by another
officer. Another one he does not recognize. Once again, the officer passes
before Sperol can do anything about it.::

~~Uhh...~~

::Sperol, now slightly wary, continues forward. As he comes to an
intersection, Sperol sees ANOTHER officer he does not recognize! But she
enters the arboretum.::

~~What is this, The Twilight Zone?!?~~

::Sperol is about to follow the last unknown crewmember when he sees Katerina
Janar-Yular at the far end of the corridor coming towards him.::

Sperol: ~~Phew, someone I know!~~ Jan! Hi!
Janar: ::smiling:: Thomas! Hey! I have not seen you in a while. How are you?
Sperol: ::shrugs:: As well as can be expected, I guess.
Janar: ::happy:: Well, I am glad you are doing better.
Sperol: Listen... I thank you.
Janar: Thank me? Thank me for what?
Sperol: When you left the planet, leaving me behind... You thought out to me.
Janar: ::slowly:: Yes, I did. I did not want to do that, Thomas. I did not
want to leave you. It really broke me up inside. ::sighs::
Sperol: I thank you for your concern.
Janar: ::smiling:: Of course. ::She starts to continue down the hallway, then
stops and turns.:: Wait a minute... ::searching:: You're not telepathic.
Sperol: No; I'm not.
Janar: Then how did you know I did that?
Sperol: ::A strange look comes over his face.:: I... I don't know.
Janar: ::thinks:: That is very odd for a non-telepath... although I have
heard of similar instances where the projected thought was so strong that
even a non-telepath could sense it.
Sperol: Maybe. Doesn't matter.
Janar: Are you sure? Can you hear me now? ::thinks lightly {{When's the next
hockey game?}}::
Sperol: No.
Janar: Well, I was thinking "When's the next hockey game?"
Sperol: ::laughs:: The hockey season has disappointed me.
Janar: Really? What do you mean?

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Sperol: There's this one player that I like... I always sympathized with him.
His name is, or was, Steve Yzerman. He played for the Detroit Red Wings.
Janar: Was he any good?
Sperol: He was one of the best! There are certain marks in hockey that show
talent. The 500 goal mark... Yzerman broke that. The 1000 point barrier...
Broke that, too. The 50 goal season... He had a few of those. The 60 goal
season.... 2 of those. The MVP... Won that, too. The 150 point season! Only 3
players ever had them, and he was one. He had the 3rd highest points per game
average ever! 2nd longest reign as captain of a team!
Janar: ::laughing:: He sounds like a great player.
Sperol: He was. But he was missing one thing.
Janar: What's that?
Sperol: The Stanley Cup. The Holy Grail of hockey. To win the Stanley Cup as
a captain ensures you a place in history. He never won it.
Janar: ::intrigued:: Why not??
Sperol: ::sighs:: There was once a book written about him... "Heart of a
Champion." He had the biggest heart of any hockey player. Ever. And it takes
heart to win Cups.
Janar: But...?
Sperol: His backup players... Some of them were among the greatest also. But
none of them had any heart. Coffey, Fedorov, Osgood, Shanahan, Turgeon,...
All of them, eventual Hall of Famers. None of them had the heart to win. And
one man, no matter what you say, cannot carry a team.
Janar: So, he never won the Stanley Cup.
Sperol: That's not all. Yzerman had a 20 year career. 3 years later, he was
up for election into the Hockey Hall of Fame. But... The NHL dissolved just
before the vote.
Janar: ::surprised:: The league was destroyed just before he would have been
in the Hall of Fame?
Sperol: Yeah.
Janar: How tragic! ::thinking:: I feel so bad for him. It must have been hard
for him.
Sperol: One other thing... He played his whole career with a bad back.
::sighs again::
Janar: So, what was so disappointing about him in your simulated season?
Sperol: There was once a story about a football - that's another Earth sport
- player who, right before the Super Bowl, was injured in the pregame coin
toss.
Janar: That's terrible! ~~What's a pregame toss?~~
Sperol: Well, Yzerman - in my simulated season - was injured. In Detroit,
fans used to throw octopi on the ice. Well, a fan threw one, and it hit
Yzerman.
Janar: ::laughing:: A what? What happened?
Sperol: It wasn't the impact that injured him. As he fell, his skate got
caught on one of the arms of the octopus. He wrenched his leg (not unlike my
injury a while back).
Janar: By the gods... how ironic!
Sperol: Yeah.
Janar: You have the program set to actually do that to your favorite player??
Sperol: Well... no.
Janar: ::confused:: Then, how?
Sperol: ::coughs:: I threw the octopus.
Janar: ::Her eyes flash wide.:: Thomas!
Sperol: ::sighs:: Yeah.
Janar: You're not going to reverse the damage?
Sperol: No; you can't change the past.
Janar: But ::giggling:: it's just a holodeck program. It's not real; just
re-program it!
Sperol: ::looks at Janar:: Reality? How do you... Never mind. Well, thanks.
Janar: ::Her brows knit slightly together.:: For what?
Sperol: Everything, I guess. ::walks away::

::Jan smiles at him as he walks out of sight.::

No problem.

::Then she continues down the corridor shaking her head slowly.::

~~Jon's gotta give that kid a day off!~~

::Sperol is nearing his quarters.::

Computer, what is the date?
Computer> SD 9704.29

~~9704.29?!? That was... ::thinks:: 10 days ago!~~

::Shaking his head once more, Sperol enters his quarters and sets out to find
out what the Darmok had done in the intervening time...::

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

::FsLt Thomas Sperol walks into the holodeck.::

~~All these dreams... they've been tensing me up! I have to relax a bit.~~

Computer, activate Sperol 32.

::An aerodrome appears before him.::

<<Sperol 32 is my WW1 flight simulation program.>>

Computer> Please state allegiance.
Sperol: Triple Entente.
Computer> Please state aerodrome.
Sperol: Versailles.
Computer> Please state plane.
Sperol: Sopwith Camel.
Computer> Please state paint job.
Sperol: ~~Did I program all of this?~~ None.
Computer> Please state time period.
Sperol: Bloody April. Uh... April 15. 6:00 AM. <<Bloody April was when the
Germans downed a vast majority of Britain and France's planes.>>
Computer> Press "START" to begin.

::Sperol looks around, and sees a button labeled "START" on the wall.
Shrugging, he presses it.

Immediately, the button disappears.::

~~Hm, must've put that in when I was in a state of whimsy.~~

::A man walks in. His name is Charles Plenck, longtime wingman and friend of
Sperol.::

Plenck: Ahh, Thomas! So nice to see you again!
Sperol: And you as well, Charles. Is my plane ready?
Plenck: Yes. Listen ::grabs Sperol as he starts to walk away:: Are you sure
you want to go this alone?
Sperol: When am I not sure, Charles?

::Plenck lets go, and Sperol walks outside.::

<<Meanwhile, in a German aerodrome.>>

German #1: Are you ready?
German #2: Yeah. That pilot will get a lesson he'll *never* forget!

::They laugh heartily.::

::Sperol hops into his plane.::

Hey, Rocky!

::A man runs over.::

Start the plane!

::Rocky grabs a hold of the propellor and firmly thrusts downward. A
rotational momentum is imparted on the propellor, enabling the engine to
start.::

Computer... comments on the Sopwith Camel?

Computer> "One of the better Allied scouts of the war, the Camel was used
primarily for low-altitude missions. With most of its weight concentrated in
the nose, the center of gravity was well forward. This made the plane
extremely unstable in the air. Further, the Camel was extremely light, while
its engine was very powerful. As a result, the engine's torque was brutal.
Many inexperienced pilots died as their mounts twisted to the right and then
fell into a spin. Yet this seemingly damned flight
characteristic was exactly what made the Camel so deadly in combat. In the
hands of..."

Computer, stop.

::The Camel begins to move forward. Sperol readies himself, and a few moments
later the plane is in the air.::

::German #1 and #2 are still together.::

German #1: What time is it?
German #2: 6:15.
German #1: OK, let's go.

::Noting his course, Sperol relaxes slightly.::

~~No action for about ten minutes.~~

::He knew what was coming. A German plane he had gotten into a dogfight with
had flown by and dropped a note (tied to a brick, of course) which had been a
challenge to Sperol. Sperol never trusted the German pilot for a second. He
fully expected at least one more German plane to be there. And Sperol was
ready.::

::Plenck is sitting in the aerodrome.::

~~I just know that that German pilot won't be alone. I should be with my
wingman! No; he specifically said that I should make no effort to follow
him.~~

::Plenck sighs and orders another drink.::

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

::Sperol is still on course for the meeting place, which was right on the
border of Allied and German territory. On the front.::

Computer, open personal log. And filter the background noise out!
Computer> Begin when ready.

::sighs:: I love this simulation.

::He corrects the plane's tendency to go down and right.::

Very accurate. I have Earth's records to thank for that.

It's been a while since I used this one, actually. Usually, I'm shooting
aliens, whether I'm in a small ship or just using a pistol. I wonder why that
is, actually. Funny... I always thought that I'd be more comfortable killing
someone if I couldn't actually see them, like in the Trecer program or here.
I don't know. My life seems to be a mess of contradictions.

Speaking of contradictions, ::sighs:: what happened? What happened on the
planet?

And why does that ball of light from my dreams before seem eerily familiar
now?

Is there a connection between that and the planet?

And now that PADD. What happened with that PADD??

And why does it seem like I can't think of anything else??

Computer, end personal log.
Computer> Log closed.

::Sperol looks at the terrain below and sees that he is coming on the
appointed meeting place.::

~~Time for some action...~~

::The Germans are flying in the clouds. At a small clearup, German #1 makes a
sign with his hand. German #2, in an identical plance, indicates his
understanding. German #1 dives out of the clouds.::

::Sperol is still flying along when he sees the German drop out of the clouds
in front of him.::

~~Damn, he said he would be coming below the cloud cover!~~

::However, the German drops to Sperol's altitude and begins to circle around.
After a minute, the German plane and Sperol are on a collision course.
Somehow, an unspoken thought passes between Sperol and the German, and they
both start firing at the same time.::

::German #2 flies around in the clouds, waiting.::

::German #1 rolls away, ceasing his fire. He prepares to do a barrel roll
attack, an obscure manuever designed to stop an attacker from overtaking the
defender. The fact that he was not attacking at this point did not stop the
German.::

::Sperol quickly looks around for the German plane, but he has disappeared.::

~~Geez, what did he do?~~

::He quickly runs through his mind all the logical manuevers that the German
could have done.::

~~None of them would leave him in my blind spot.~~

::German #1 is now flying very close to the ground. Luckily, the top of his
plane is painted similarly to the terrain. Looking up, he sees Sperol
manuevering, looking for him. The German briefly berates himself for slipping
out of the barrel roll and spinning towards the ground. He was lucky that he
had spun to the ground exactly so that Sperol could not see him.::

::German #2 estimates that it's time to spring the trap. He dives out of the
clouds.::

::Sperol continues to looks around, but then he sees the German emerge from
the clouds.::

~~How did he get there?!?~~

::Sperol turns to the right, but forgets about the aerodynamic properties of
his plane, and the begins to spiral out of control.::

::German #1 looks up. He sees Sperol's plane spinning towards the ground, but
oddly enough, sees no smoke.::

::German #2 is surprised to see Sperol's plane out of control, for he hasn't
done anything yet.::

::Sperol is desperately trying to pull his plane out of the spin. He is about
to hit the ground when...::

Random> Ltjg Random to FsLt Sperol...
Sperol: Computer, pause simulation! +tap+ Yes, Random?
Random> Sir, we could use you down here right now.
Sperol: +tap+ I'm indefinitely off-duty, remember?
Random> Oh. Yeah.
Sperol: ::sighs:: +tap+ Nice to know you're thinking about me.
Random> Random out.

::Sperol heaves another sigh and briefly considers continuing the simulation.
He decides it has been disrupted too much.::

Computer, end program.
::The world disappears, and Sperol walks out of the holodeck.::

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

::First Lieutenant Thomas Sperol stands and stretches. He has been sitting
for the last hour reading at his computer console, assimilating the events of
the past week. He still cannot believe it.::

~~He died. He really died.~~

::Sperol is referring to Dr. Ryder. They had never had an amicable
relationship. Nor was it one of pure hatred. Hatred, yes. A lot of hatred.
But... not all.::

~~He is dead. A part of me is dead.~~

::Sperol had not known the Doctor too well. No one had. But Sperol was struck
by a conversation they had had once.::

Sperol: Doctor... Do not cross paths with me. You will be sorry.
Ryder: I hope we do, when the time is right.
Sperol: We will.

::They never did.

Later in that conversation, Dare had said a statement with an immeasurable
impact on Sperol.::

"Guard yourself, Thomas, for the One knows your name too."

::Only a statement in a dream had haunted Sperol more than Dare's
utterance.::

"There is at least one proposition p such that the reasoner will never
believe p and never believe the negative of p."

::But now Dare is dead. The conflict was not to be. Dare and Sperol would
never meet again.

It was not meant to be.

The paths would not cross.

Something in Sperol is gone.

It was not meant to be.::

::Sperol walks over to his desk. He opens a drawer and takes out a knife.
Carefully, he places it in the replicator.::

Computer, destroy this knife. I won't be needing it anymore.
Computer> ::destroys it::

~~Guard yourself, Thomas...~~

::Somewhere in the depths of Sperol's unconscious, a thought stirs.::

"Strange that the departure of Dr. Ryder should almost coincide with the
arrival of the changed Sperol. As if the internal struggle of the Doctor has
transferred itself to Sperol, where it still rages on."

::None of that ever makes it to consciousness, however.::

~~May you have found your path, Doctor. I have no doubt you did.~~

::And somewhere in the depths of space, on a planet, under the surface, a
being resembling nothing so much as a ball of light laughs quietly.::

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Date:04/25/97
Subject: Personal Log

::::Computer start log::::

I am a lost to understand why Feredation personel have to meet and say good
bye to those who have already left. In my world, I believe that those who die
are gone...only the body remains...

Maybe it is for themselves and not for the ones who have died

:::computer end log::::

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

Personal Log
Akarn
SD9705.02

I find myself trying to keep unusually busy lately,ever since we have
laid our fallen comrades to rest.Since Evitas new promotion she has been
rather busy and I dont want to disturb her,but I had a need to talk to
someone.Of all people to talk to I sent a commnique to my father.As often as
we have our difference he just sat and listened to me and as compasionate as
my father can be,I could tell he was worried.But he didnt lecture me for the
first time in my life instead he offered fatherly advice
and treated me as an equal.I have never seen this side of him before and it
was very suprising.I think I have spent being mad at him as long as he as
been dissapointed in me.
Tonite took all that away and I have missed out on so much for tonight
I think in those final minutes of our conversation I began to understand him
and the logic he has stood by all of his life.For the first time in my life I
am actually looking forward to the calling him.Its wierd really you spend
your whole life rebeling against your parents wondering why they law the laws
they do .......but the older you get you find yourself embracing alot of
there concepts clinging to them hoping you can at
least measure up to some of there standards.

End Log

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

The Bajor Journals
Part 2 : The Arrival
SD9705.01

The Cuautemoc slid into orbit over the northern polar regions of
Bajor, the magnetic field of the planet hiding the vessel from scans. The
journey to Bajor had been a quiet one, allowing plenty of time for Sierra to
reflect on the time ahead, and to learn about her new role as a mother. She
was still adjusting to the change in her life. Not that she would undo
anything -- she would redo everything about motherhood again and again. Of
course she would undo the losing Dare bit. But then again, if
wishes were horses, fools would ride.
The doorbell's soft chime interrupted her meditative train of
thought. She looked up.
"Come."
Rydelik entered, eyes reflecting rainbow hues of sunswept fire as he
stood at casual attention in his red uniform. "We have arrived." He gestured
to the door. "Transporter room six is waiting for our transport."
"Aye, Commander, thank you."
Rydelik accompanied Sierra, with Taryn in her arms, to the
transporter room. He had already seen to her luggage, and the boxes of Dare's
belongings that a pair of ensigns had packed up for her.
"I will accompany you two to Bennikar."
"That would be... that would be good." She looked up at Rydelik.
"Thank you again, Commander, for all you have done."
"I have yet to do anything."
"You were a good friend to Dare. And you are helping me now."
Jalika met them as they neared the transporter room, clad in a
acolyte robe. Sierra remembered that Jalika had entered into study for a
healing sect. "Hello, Si."
"Hello again, Jalika. How have you been?"
Jalika smiled, her face lighting up. In her melodious voice, she
replied, "Fine. How are you holding up?"
Sierra kept her voice calm, serene. "I am surviving." She smiled
down at her child, asleep in her arms. "This is Taryn Angelique."
Jalika addressed the infant. "Hello, cheli." Taryn opened her eyes
and sort of gurgled. Jalika smiled again, reaching out to touch the child's
face. "She looks a bit like Ce.." ~~Unda Jek Jalika.~~
"Who?"
Jalika quickly recovered. "Dare."
Sierra smoothed a hand across Taryn's forehead, brushing back her
soft, dark patch of hair, smiling. "Yes I think she has his eyes."
Rydelik entered the transporter room wth them, and the transporter
chief looked at the people entering. "Captain, the coordinates are set."

"Thank you, Chief."
Sierra was quiet, lost in thoughts of Dare, as she followed Rydelik
and Jalika up onto the transporter pad.
In his imperial tones, Rydelik commanded, "Energize."
They materialized into the Bajoran country side near the house Si
has not seen in nearly five months, since her honeymoon.
The more things change.... Si thought. The inviting house was
still snuggled into the rolling countryside, looking more as if it had grown
there than had been built, caressed by the touch of the golden afternoon
sunlight. The lush green hills meandered away, the long green grass rustling
in a warm seasonal breeze. The air carried the scent of moba, feloran
bromeliads, and jumja. Sierra could hear the faint murmur of the river that
ran close by, the soft rustling of the breeze through the
trees, the calls of the many birds that lived in the valley.
Jalika looked over at Sierra's slightly anxious expression, then
over at her father. ~~I miss Bajor, Papa.~~
Rydelik noblly gestured for Si to follow. ~~So do I, Cheli~~
Sierra held Tara closer and took a deep breath of the fresh,
sweetly perfumed air as she fell into step beside Da'rell, the breeze making
her robes flutter, her uniforms having been left back on the Darmok.

<continued next posting>

[Return to Archives | Return to Listing ]

<continued from previous post>

They walked up to the house, and Rydelik placed his hand on the palm
pad. "The combination is set to open to my hand at the time that Cedra is
informed of Dare's departure." The door slid open. "Here our journey
ends."
Sierra's eyes darken as she walks into the house, lost in thought
again.
Jalika glided over to where her father stood, putting an arm
comfortingly about his waist.
Rydelike said loudly, "If you need us will be in Jalanda City."
Slightly startled out of her reverie by his tone, Sierra nodded. As
father and daughter moved away, Sierra turned to look at them. "Thank you
both."
The Commander nodded, then walked out of the house with Jalika and
shut the door quietly behind them.
Sierra suddenly felt very lonely as they left, leaving her alone
with Taryn in Dare's house. Of course, if the point had come where they had
decided to return to Bajor to live, it would be their house, but Sierra could
not stop thinking about it as Dare's house. She also knew that Dare had left
his house to his then-unborn child. She wondered if she would ever manage to
stop thinking of it as Dare's house.
The house was very quiet, her footfalls making hardly any noise as
she walked across the carpet, heading for her favorite room in the house, the
greenroom, bouncing Taryn slightly in her arms as the infact gurgled softly,
smiling.
Her steps faltered as she walked into the lush greenroom, seeing
the figure who stood by the stream there. She took a deep shaky breath. ~~I
must be hallucinating....~~
Darryl Ryder walked closer to his wife, a smile playing about his
lips. "Hello, Sierra."

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<this log occurs before Sierra arrives at Bajor>

SD9704.30
Science Starbase Hawking
Vulcan system

M'Hawarr Gabriella Labann, head of the biology department aboard the
starbase Hawking, sat down at her workstation and noticed the message light
blinking. She reached over and activated the terminal.
The UFP logo came up for a moment, its reassuring blues and whites
filling the screen, then the brief list of messages. She noted the one from
her daughter, Sierra, and chose to open that one first, noting with mild
interest that it didn't have the standard decryption activation her messages
usually had.
Sierra's face came up, looking a little tired, Gabriella observed.
"Hello, Mother. I hope this message finds you well. I have some bad
news. And some good news, too. The bad news first." Sierra frowned, then
took a deep breath. "Dare was recently killed in... in the line of duty.
About two weeks ago." There was a long pause as Sierra managed to keep
herself calm. Gabriella's heart went out to her daughter, now regretting that
she had never taken the time to visit and meet her new son-in-law.
Sierra continued, "The good news is that our daughter, Taryn, has been
born, and is wonderfully healthy, as you can see." Sierra smiled, moving her
angle to the screen, and holding up an infant wrapped in flannels. "I am
currently en route to Bajor, to return Dare's personal items from the Darmok
to his home in the valley of Bennikar. I will be there for a couple weeks..."
She paused pointedly. "Just so you know how to reach me. I would like to hope
that you, and especially Grandfather, can ...
come to see us."
Gabriella knew that Sierra was making a point to her grandfather by
asking them to come to Bajor, instead of bringing Taryn to Vulcan. She could
imagine the look on her father's face already. She sighed.
"That's about all I have for now, Mother. I hope things are going well
with your research. Sierra out."
The message blinked out, replaced again by the UFP logo. Gabriella
leaned back, steepling her fingers thoughtfully. It would take some
convincing, but she would figure out a way.

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Darryl Ryder walked closer to his wife, a smile playing about his
lips. "Hello, Sierra."
"Dare..."
"Jolan Tru." Dare walked toward her, clad in his favorite outfit,
the one with the brown suede jacket. "A bit of Rihannsu that I learned."
Sierra nodded mutely. ~~I want to see him so badly that I'm
imaging things~~
"I have been activated following the annoucement of my journey."
"You're a program?" Sierra felt her knees buckle slightly as the
realization sunk in, and she sat on a handy bench. Of course. He had told her
about the holographic emitters installed around the house, which were
originally designed for use with Cedra.
Dare looked at her with what Sierra would almost take for
amusement. "Program? No, a reflection. I am here in a sense."
Sierra frowned slightly. Dare had always liked talking in
riddles.... "I don't understand."
"A recording if you please." He smiled. "I think of it as a
window in the past."
Sierra nodded.
"When I recorded this I was still among you. Think of it as a
delayed response." He smiled again.
She readjusted Taryn in her arms, taking another deep breath. "All
right. It's just.... startling..... to see you."
"I made a collection of recordings for our child. Da'rell should
have given them to you."
Sierra nodded. "The box.... yes, he gave them to me. I haven't had
the chance to look at them."
"I was so glad when I heard Voyager had returned from the Core
Systems. Da'rell is a good friend."
She smiled. Da'rell's Voyager was not the same Voyager that had
been lost in the Badlands three years earlier. She knew what the friendship
meant to her husband.
"Cedra will help care for you and the baby." He looked at the
infant, and smiled affectionately.
"Dare...." She stopped, looking down at the sleeping child.
The image of a smiling woman in her early twenties appeared, her
eyes and face looking slightly like the child. She was dressed in casual
Bajoran wear: a soft, rose-colored shirt, tan vest, and dark brown pants and
sandals. Sierra looked up in time to see Dare fading out.
Cedra approached Sierra, and addressed Taryn. Her flowing light
brown hair flowed behind her, her soft brown eyes sparkled as she leaned
close and lay a hand on her forehead. "Hello, little sister."
Sierra bit her lip slightly, remembering the last time she was
here, and Cedra's attitude towards her. Like the ship's EMHD program, Cedra
had been designed by Dare to grow and evolve. The programming had Dare's
personality mixed in with Cedra's own evolutions. The last time Si had been
here -- for her honeymoon -- she had never seen her holo-imagry. Cedra had
been extremely jealous of Dare's affections towards Sierra, and had left no
bones about it.
Cedra smiled reassuringly at Sierra. "Don't worry, I will behave
now. It was hard to accept someone married to Dad that wasn't Mom."
Sierra smiled faintly in return. "And I still have a problem
adjusting to you. No offense, Cedra. Just..." She shook her head slightly,
blushing faintly.
"Don't worry, I do too to you. What is different between Data and
myself? Dr. Soong and Dad? I am no more a person than Commander Data."
Softly, Sierra replied, "Just .... strange to hear somebody who
looks like an adult call Dare Dad."
"Well, in SF standard years I would be 17 years old."
Sierra thought back to the conversations she had had with Dare
about Cedra. "I know, Dare explained your program to me."

<continued next post>