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LtCommander Terlak A. Kendall
Chief Engineer
USS ALDRIN
NCC-220947

Please enter destination: LCARS, Logs for stardate 9807.27

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Logs,Stardate: 9807.27

OPEN PERSONAL LOG
Its going to be weird without my kids, since today I left them at
Spacedock with their grandparents (mine). I did not want to endanger them on
this crucial mission. I even went as far as to update my will, which won't
come into use anytime soon, but, as a precaution, because the last thing I
want is to have my kids taken into custody by my Ex-wife, Denise (picture
Lilith on "Frasier"). The only reason she almost got them in the first place
was because she pulled some strings with Admiral Nayachev's brother, who is
also an admiral. I'm straying off of the point, the point is, The ship and I
are ready to go.
END LOG

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LtCommander Terlak A. Kendall
Chief Engineer
USS ALDRIN
NCC-220947

Please enter destination: LCARS Logs for stardate 9807.29

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Logs,Stardate: 9807.29

OPEN LOG
The ship which was under my command today was destroyed, after an
attack by the Jem-Hadar, in which 46 crew members perished, either from being
initially killed by the attack, or shot by the Jem-Hadar when they boarded in
Engineering. Luckily, Tomalak and I initiated self destruct, and we destroyed
all Jem-Hadar inside. During this battle, the Federation fleet came out
victorious.
END LOG

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OPEN PERSONAL LOGS

::walking through the main corridor on the U.S.S. Liberator::yawns and looks
at her watch:: 0300 already? ::rubs her sore back::reminds herself not to
pass up a massage next time Dire offers one::recieves reports from the repair
crews...which are just as tired as she is::reads over them and issues new
repair orders:: Get the Aft phaser banks functional before you worry about
climate control, Ensign!...if you want to die in an airconditioned
defenseless ship..that's fine with me...but i'd rather be able to
fight::hands him the padd with repair deadlines::rubs her throbbing
head::walks down the corridor::thinks...you gotta do something about that
temper, Naka...it'll be the death of you...or that Ensign::sighs and makes a
note to herself to appoligize to the Ensign later::walks into the security
office::plops down at the desk:: Chaos..how do you do it? ::reads over her
padd::
Computer...Open Personal Logs Ltjg Nakaruru Stardate 9808.03.. COM> Logs
opened. -What an interesting night this has been....I'm currently stationed
on the U.S.S. Liberator, under the command of Captain Kivo.....that has a
nice ring to it doesn't it?...anywho...after warding off a huge fleet of
Dominion ships with our own Kick Butt!!!! fleet of Federation, Klingon, and
Romulan ships now I'm now faced with the task of repairing this ship. We
will
dock for major repairs..but if that is cancelled for whatever reason we need
to be ready, so I have already issued full repair deadlines..and I plan on
meeting them..dispite the long hours. Repair crews are working around the
clock to get us back into shape...all major repairs should be completed by
morning. The remaining repairs for the night are shields which should be back
to 90%...and the Aft phaser banks took some heavy damage....the torpedo
banks are being loaded and examined to make sure they're working properly.
I'm currently overseeing the repairs on the ship and I'm scheduled to report
to Captain Kivo with my progress.I'm sure the Liberator will be opperational
when we need her to..she evaded major damage...thanks to a great Tac...and
she couldn't have a better Commander either :).... Computer End Log COM>Log
Closed ::looks at her watch:: he's probably asleep by now...i'll give him
the report in the morning. ::yawns::props her feet on the desk:: at least now
i can't get in trouble for this ::grins::finishes her report and dozes off in
the sec office::
END PERSONAL LOGS

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Stardate 9808.04
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open Log::

::Killian leaned on the doorframe of the Holodeck and looked out into the
corridor. Morning had arrived and most of the healthy crew were up and
getting ready to face the next stage of the battle. Some of those passing by
stopped to stare at her, amazed.::

::Standing straight, Killian headed to her quarters and a sonic shower before
she began her day's duties. She hadn't slept. She couldn't sleep.....she
couldn't close her eyes and keep the images of Ingrid from her mind's eye.::

::In the shower, she counted the slashes in her body and treated them as
best she could by herself. Some she didn't even bother with, they just
weren't important. The bruises she just ignored completely. She didn't care
that her outside reflected how she felt inside...and yet...it didn't truly.
You couldn't even see the bruises, she just felt them. Last night didn't
work...the pain of her body still hadn't eclipsed the pain in her heart.::

::She dressed for duty. Brushing her long black hair and twisting it into
the familiar ponytail, Killian tried not to see the emptiness staring out of
her eyes. She had lost Chago to the Jem'Hadar in the Gamma Quadrant, and now
she had lost Ingrid to the Jem'Hadar in the Alpha Quadrant. At least Ingrid
got to die as she lived, in the shadow of Chago. Killian carefully applied
the touches of make-up she used, then made sure she looked as normal as
ever. She did, even the haunted look in her eyes had fled from the tougher
than torpedoes woman who stood ready to meet the day and the next battle.::

::Turning from the mirror, Killian took care of her pets, feeding them,
petting them, giving them some attention before she had to leave. She made
sure that Chester wasn't too lonely with Julio gone for the month. And since
she was baby-sitting Hamaha while Naka was on another ship, she made sure
Hamaha was comfortable.::

::The chime from the ancient grandfather cloak reminded Killian that her
office and reports and battle plans were waiting and this wasn't her time
anymore. This time belonged to Starfleet, the Aldrin, her Crew, and the
Vanguard.::

::Picking up her PADD, she left for the day and walked to her ready room,
nodding to those she met in the corridors and turbolifts. Asking them how
they were doing. Keeping in touch with her crew, as she normally did, even
if they did feel as if she too cold to talk to. Somethings were a trade
off...you either got the popular captain that didn't go anywhere, or you got
the good captain that appeared to be distant. Very rarely could you have
both.
And she didn't feel that she was either. She hadn't been good enough to
keep those ships from being destroyed. She hadn't been good enough to keep
those who died alive. She hadn't been good enough, period. And she
definitely wasn't popular. She frightened her crew, and knew it. Maybe Rick
was right...maybe she wasn't cut out for command.::

::At her desk, Killian made contact with all the ships and with all the
medical departments. She made notations about who had died during the night
from injuries. Her hand pausing once over the condition of Devon, but that
was the only sign of emotion she had. She made notations of those that were
mia's and their status. Then began to write the letters home to the families
of those who had died serving Starfleet and the Federation.::

::Her hands trembled when the next name on the list was Ingrid's. Who was
there to tell? Chago was dead. And Ingrid's real parents had died six
months ago when they didn't get off the planet soon enough and the star went
supernova too early. There really wasn't anyone else to inform of her
death.::

::Then she left for her meeting with the other captains of the vanguard, as
well as the captains of the ground troops coming in. Battle plans were laid
out and agreed upon. She gave them each the normal warning about taking
unnecessary risks. Never once letting on about her own personal losses, she
consoled those who had lost people during the battle. She was professional,
as usual, and no one could fault her on that. Her job was done letter
perfect, all i's dotted, all t's crossed.::

::Then it was time for her bridge duty. Taking her chair, she allowed the
bridge crew to discuss that battle and then to come up with ideas on how to
improve for the next battle they were about to engage upon. She signed the
reports after reading them. She checked in with all the departments and
repair teams. Going through her job like an automaton, never really feeling
anything: not the pain of her body from the beating she took last night, not
the fatigue of having gone 48 hours without sleep, not the mental exhaustion
of planning and heading this battle, not the emotional drain caused by giving
her support to everyone in the vanguard, not the personal emotional pain of
her emptiness. She lost herself in the small, day-to-day, numbing
everything, putting the distance there that would take the place of natural
grieving. Killian was making her point loud and clear, she was what everyone
believed of her...a Human Vulcan, emotionless, logical, untouchable.::

::When the day was over, Killian returned to her quarters. Tomorrow would be
the attack of Lutarin Prime and the final stage of this battle. Feeding her
pets and caring for them ate up some of her time. She answered the polite
calls to check up on her, to make sure she was okay and ready for tomorrow.
She walked through the motions of making dinner, although she didn't taste
the two or three bites she managed to choke down; and she couldn't even
tell you what it was she ate.::

::Then she lay down, hoping against hope that her mind and body were so
exhausted that she wouldn't dream. Pulling the quilt over her shoulders,
Killian curled up on the couch, and let sleep claim her.::

::End Log::

TBC

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Selah sat in his quarters onboard the USS Stealth sipping a glass of Trania.
There was a holograph of Killian beside his bed. Julio was sleeping in his
room. The last couple of months had been a whirl for him. After returning
from his mission with SI being interrogated about the commanding officers of
the USS Aldrin, he had volunteered for OEP duty. He and Julio haad
been shuttled over to rendevous with the USS Stealth at SB Sarajevo. They
were heading for Cervantes II in support of a colonization effort.
Too much time had been lost. He needed to get in contact with Killian.
There was some business that had been a long time in waiting. The time to
wait was over. He looked down at the small box that he held in his hand. He
took a sip from his glass emptying it. Standing and walking over to the
console. "Computer open a subspace channel to Fleet Captsin Killian aboard
the USS Aldrin. Routine priority" "Attempting to open a channel." The
computer
stated. Selah set his glass down and turned the box over and over in his
hand. "Channel open."
"Selah.." It was Killa's voice."Is that you? What's the matter? Is something
wrong?"
Selah looked into her eyes," No Killa..Nothings wrong. As a matter of fact
things have never been better.....

TBC

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Stardate 9808.12
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open Log::

::Killian had just gotten back to her quarters and was debating on whether or
not to spend the night beating her body senseless in the holodeck or doing
more of the reports and paper work she had let slide for the past several
months. Either would keep her awake and either would keep her mind off of
the pain. And as long as she could keep her crew from knowing she hadn't
slept since learning of Ingrid's death, she was doing well.::

::She jumped a little when her personal com unit informed her of an incoming
message. Biting her lip she wondered who it was and if she could stand
another sympathy message from yet another admiral who knew of her reputation
yet didn't bother to get to know her.:: Political jockeying makes me want to
puke. ::She muttered and was about to turn away when the sender of the
message displayed below the incoming message alert.::

::Her heart leaped into her throat and she couldn't make her feet move to the
chair, just a few feet away. Gods, what if something went wrong? What if
Julio had been taken ill or injured during some attack, what if....oh
gods...what if something has happened to Selah.::

::Taking the last steps, Killian sat down and touched the key giving her
access to the message. When the face of Selah appeared, she knew it wasn't
Tarjoto telling her that he was dead. But still, her heart wasn't even close
to being in the right place, let alone beating at the right pace.::

Selah, is that you? What's the matter? Is something wrong? ::She prayed
that her voice was calm and didn't betray any of her inner anxiety and that
her face was it's normal, professional calm and cool. She also prayed that
both he and Julio were safe and okay.::

::Selah looked into her eyes and she didn't know if he could read her at that
distance as well as he could read her up close:: No Killa, nothings wrong.
As a matter of fact, things have never been better..... ::Then he paused and
took a good look at her:: Killa, are you okay? You look like you haven't
slept in a while.

::She knew she only had a second to reply, anything longer and he would know
it was a lie.:: Well, Tarva, you know how it is with battle and all. No
sleep before with all the planning and then no sleep after with all the clean
up and reports and follow ups and such. Especially with a battle to save an
entire system. Lutarin Prime is almost freed and that battle on the ground
is just as savage as the one we fought in space....

Selah> Killian, tell me.

Killian> Tell you what, Tarva?

Selah> ::Sighing and running his hand through his hair.:: Killa, what is
driving you? What are you hiding from me? What happened in the battle that
has brought up your defenses so strong, I can feel them beating at me even at
this distance. Please, let me in.

Killian> ::Taking several deep breaths:: How is Julio?

Selah> ::Allowing her the moment to gather her thoughts:: He is fine. There
haven't been any incidents yet, but then, he's still feeling out those his
age on the Stealth. I think he misses you....I have twice had to soothe him
out of nightmares and then pretend that I didn't in the morning. And each
time, he was calling for you.

Killian> ::Nodding:: Try singing to him, that helps...at least...when I do
it.... ::Laughing at herself, but the laughter had a sad and bitter edge to
it.:: Gods, can you imagine what the crew would say if they knew I sang to
Julio when he can't sleep?

Selah> Okay, Killa, please, what is it? The tears are close to the surface,
but you are swallowing them. Please.

Killian> Tarva......I don't want to ruin your time on the Stealth. You and
Julio have a good time and when you get back....

Selah> Dammit, Killa, at the rate you are going, by the time we get back, you
will have killed yourself.

Killian> ::Screaming back at him:: Don't say that!!!!

Selah> ::Sitting back, watching as Killian's face twisted in pain, sorrow,
and guilt so profound he wanted to curl up in the corner and cry for her.
But as quickly as it appeared, the look vanished under the mask that was the
face Killian wore when she didn't want anyone to see she was human.:: Who was
it, Killian? Who died in the battle?

Killian> Who said anyone died! ::Snapping at him. She knew that she was
giving herself away the longer she kept losing control. She had to pull
herself back from this edge.::

Selah> Killian, who was it? Sean? Devon? Leslie? Greg? Who?

Killian> ::Shaking her head:: No. The last report I got in said that Devon
would be in rehab for another three months, but he will be fine.

Selah> ::Thinking a moment, then his face echoed her sorrow:: I'm sorry,
Killa. I.....I know she was special to you. ::A tear rolled down his own
cheek, a tear that she wouldn't shed but he would.::

Killian> ::Looking at him, not saying anything. At this point, she knew it
was useless. He knew.:: Tarva, I will be fine.

Selah> ::Shaking his head:: No, you are slowly killing yourself from the
inside out because Ingrid died while in a fleet commanded by you. And I can
bet that you have sent the finest psychologists to help all the other
grieving people in your fleet, but you haven't spoken to one.

Killian> What do I need to speak to a shrink for? I'm fin.....

Selah> You call sleep depravation, fine? You call eating yourself up from
the inside out, fine? And I can just guess what you have been doing to keep
yourself awake? How many bones have you broken in the holodeck? How much
blood have you lost? And you probably just treated it yourself and not seen
a doctor. Dammit, Killian, I need you. I need you alive and whole. Don't
self-destruct.

Killian> ::Blinking at his tone and words. He hadn't ever lost control
around her like that. He was always so calm, but he was almost...angry with
her.:: Tarva.....::Her voice small, curious:: You're angry with me?

Selah> ::Looking at something in his hands that she can't see:: I'm scared
for you, Killian. I'm scared that I will lose you to your own self-hatred
and self-destructive tendencies.

Killian> ::Sighing softly:: All right, Tarva, you win. I will call someone
to check and make sure that I have tended my holodeck wounds correctly.
::sighing again at the look in his eyes:: Okay...okay....and I will talk to
someone about.....Ingrid.

Selah> ::Softly:: Killian....there is something that I have wanted to
say......

::End log::

TBC

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Stardate 9808.13
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

::Killian sat, stunned. Of all things she expected, this wasn't one of them.
Granted, she had thought about it, and did all the what if games, but....that
is all they were...games and thoughts. Or...were they.::

Killian> Tarva.....::her mouth dry. She brushed at her face, irritated by
the itch of she didn't know what. Looking at her hand, she was amazed to see
it was tears making her face itch. She looks up at him:: I'm...crying.

Tarva> ::Smiled a little at the complete amazement in her voice. She looked
so young and vulnerable when she dropped her masks and let her true feelings
out. Something he wished others could see, but knew that few ever would.::
Yes, Killa, you are. Don't you like the ring? I can get it in white gold if
you want......

Killian> ::Sorrow still shadowed her face and haunted her eyes, but somehow,
she felt better.:: Tarva, you don't know how much I have missed you. I guess
I came to depend on your steadying touch in my mind for a long time. And
since it you have been gone...everything has just fallen to pieces.

Tarva> ::Wistfully:: Is that all I am to you? A steadying touch?

Killian> ::Very softly:: No.....no, Tarva, you are much more. ::Looking at
her hands, then looking up at him:: Are you sure you want to put up with me?
Can't you do better?

Tarva> Killian! ::His tone was sharp, hurt.:: You know I don't like you to
put yourself down like that. You are a very beautiful woman. You are also
very intelligent, strong, and competitant. And any man who could win your
heart would consider himself lucky. But, if you don't want me, please, tell
me now so that I have time to hide my broken heart before returning to duty
on the Aldrin.

Killian> I'm sorry, Tarva, I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just
that...I'm....
nevermind. I don't think we will ever see eye to eye on that. So I will
trust your opinion of me. Tarva, I'm just...scared.

Tarva> What are you afraid of Killian? That I will die like Chago did?

Killian> ::Looking at her hands, tears falling on them, her voice very soft::
Yes.

Tarva> ::Wishing he could hold her that very minute.:: Killa, everyone has to
die sometime, and when you do work like you and I and others in Star Fleet,
the chances are greater of that. But, it would be the most foolish thing
ever, if you didn't take the opportunity to be with someone you love and to
leave behind something of that love for those who follow to see. Killian, I
love you, I don't want to lose you. Please.

Killian> ::Looking at her hands so long, Tarva wondered if he pushed too
hard. Then she looked up at him. She stared into his eyes, her face
expressionless. Then she broke her mask and a tear slid down her cheek again
and her voice was very soft:: Tarva, I can't lose you. I would be
devastated if I did, to the point where I would probably suicide actively.

Tarva> Don't say that, Killa....

Killian> Will you let me finish. ::She watched him nod and spread his
hands:: As I was saying, you have become a very special part of my life.
And without you, I don't know what I would do. I guess...what I'm trying to
say in my own, bumbling way is....Yes, Tarva, I will marry you. I
guess....I've known for a long time, there would never be anyone else for me,
but you. Tarva.....I love you.

Tarva> I love you, Killian. When I get home, I will place this ring on your
finger. Sleep well, Killa.

Killian> ::Nodding, wondering why he would say that, it was still early.
Then the screen and her room when black.::

Tarva> ::Watching as her mind shut down and let her body rest, finally,
smiling as he worked his magic once more on his love. His voice was soft::
Sweet dreams, Killa. ::Then he turned off the comchannel and went to tell
Julio the news.::

::With her head on her arms, Killian slept through the night without a
nightmare haunting her. She kept hearing Tarva's voice whispering over and
over that he loved her. A smile was on her lips as she slept for the first
time since the battle::

::End log::

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LtCommander Terlak A. Kendall
ACTING CAPTAIN
USS ALDRIN
NCC-220947

Please enter destination: LCARS Logs for stardate 9808.24

Please enter password: ********** ****** ********

Please wait...

Logs,Stardate: 9808.24

OPEN PERSONAL LOG
Since I am on the Holodeck being taken hostage by the Program of
Moriarty, which we accidentally salvaged from the USS ENTERPRISE today, I
don't have time for a personal life. All I'm doing now is negotiating my way
out, which isn't really possible, seeing has how Picard conned Moriarty while
negotiating 2 times. I hope Chaos rescues me and the ship soon....otherwise,
the ENTERPRISE, and quite possibly the ALDRIN will be destroyed.
END LOG

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LtCommander Terlak A. Kendall
Chief Engineer
USS ALDRIN
NCC-220947

Please enter destination: LCARS Logs for stardate 9808.26

Please enter password: ********** ****** ********

Please wait...

Logs,Stardate: 9808.26

OPEN PERSONAL LOG
I am relieved that Moriarty is gone, everyone is safe, the cargo
from the crashed ENTERPRISE is beaming aboard the USS COCHRANE (bound for
Earth) as we speak, and the ship is still in one piece. It seems that all our
efforts combined seemed to really pay off! I am now off to the bridge to pick
up the Command Crew from their shuttle, I hope that the CO/XO confrence went
well for them.
END LOG

::Terlak pulled his hand away from the console, barely able to keep track of
all that has happened in the past few days. Slowly he got up and found his
way to the turbolift::

TERLAK> Deck 1, Bridge

::As Terlak entered the bridge, he found the crew in a bustle to finish
beaming the cargo to the COCHRANE, it was soooo hard to let go of such
priceless artifacts::

CHAOS> ::sitting on the XO chair:: Operation complete.

TERLAK> Oh good, send our regards to the COCHRANE, and set in a course to the
Captains shuttle.

HELMSMAN> Course laid in.

TERLAK> ::soaking up the dramatic moment, then slowly raising his finger to
the screen:: Engage!

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Personal Log for Ensign Mira Romani-
I've settled in ::sighs:: again, and i must admit i grow weary of all the
moving around. I hope this crew is as good as the last, strike that, better,
i dont want to drift in an escape pod for a day with the Dominion roaming
about again.
I have takent he liberty of touring the bridge and Main Engineering but
havent gotten around to entire ship yet, ill need to if i'm going to be
flying her. I can't believe they are going to let me fly something this big.
I hope i dont chock when we get into a scrape. And then their is getting
aquainted with a new crew::sighs and sits back in her chair::
Small Moves, Mira, Small Moves.
Maybe ill try and keep to myself, im nto sure, they say its better you dont
get to attched to anyone when you are in a war...i already made that mistake
with David, now he is gone. ::looks down for a minute and feigns wiping
somehting from her eye::
I guess thats the way war is though.
Computer...end log.
End Log-

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Here I am in my new ship, the U.S.S. Aldrin. She doesn't look so bad,
but I won't see Tavi as much. I hope she can get a transfer here. I'll miss
her. Now I haven't met the Captain yet, but she seems nice. I like Tia so
far. I know she is my boss, but I hope we can also become friends. I have to
finish unpacking and call my wife. She recently gave birth to a girl. End
log.

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Alex left in a hurry. He wasn't happy as he left his ship, the USS
Howling Wolf. Alex took his things, going to get a room somewhere. He had
just come from having a huge fight with his wife. She had the baby, a girl,
but they were still in the process of picking names. They argued fore hours
before Alex got his things and left the ship. He went to the Aldrin, setting
his things down. silently, he wondered if this was
the end of his marriage. "Was this the end?, " he thought. Alex was tired and
frustrated. Alex removed his uniform, going and taking a shower. He then
slipped into his bed and looked up at the dark ceiling. He tought about Tavi
and thought about things. Their marriage. Their newborn baby girl. Alex
rolled over, wiping a tear from his cheek. He thought of his wife as he
drifted off to sleep, wondring what would come of their marriage...

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Alex and Tavi had made up and he was holding the baby for the first time.
He was a little bit happy, but felt that something was still wrong. Tavi
wouldn't kiss him and hold him back. It was like she didn't want to be around
him. Alex could sense it. She brought the baby into Ten Forward and a man
stared at her. Alex did what he tried to by defending his family. He told the
man to stop staring at the baby. Alex and
Tavi didn't settle on a name yet for the baby. Soon enough, they had another
fight. Tavi is doing something that sounds secretive and she wouldn't tell
him he thought. So now, their marriage is in trouble. Alex thinks she will
leave him and divorce. him. He hopes she won't do that.

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Alex was still depressed. He missed the love of his life and their child.
He was alone on the Aldrin and didn't feel like getting up. Alex wasn't
shaven and his hair was a mess. He stayed up all night painting a picture of
his wife from memory. It was the picture of Tavi holding the baby when she
came home. It was late at night and Tavi was nursing the baby. She was
glowing and it just took his heart away. Mother and
child. So natural. Alex captured that moment on the canvas. He got up, put on
his gold and grey uniform. He went into Ten Forward, going to the bar. He saw
a friend of Tavi's and gave the waiter a note. The waiter delivered the note.
Alex then saw Molly and Dashford. Molly was somewhat of a friend of his.
Dashford was adopted by Molly and he was a cute kid. He talked to Molly
briefely before going to a table with Tavi's friend. He told her how he
felt and asked her to deliver his message. She looked a bit sad and said she
would. Alex was going to leave his wife alone and let her come back if she
wanted to. He was going to let her decide things. Her friend left and
Dashford ran into Alex's leg. He picked up the crying child and helped him
feel better. Alex also told the kid of his marriage troubles. It was like a
scene from Jerry Macguire. Molly took the boy home soon enough and Alex was
left
alone. He thought for a second and went back to the Aldrin. He had Shania
Twain's Come On Over the whole time over the room speakers. He spent the
whole night he painted pictures of Tavi and of their child. The man needed
his wife and child.

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Alex continued to walk and talk with Chandra. She was a lovely woman and
he couldn't believe she was single. She was a good person and helped him talk
about his wife and daughter. Alex hoped they'd be close friends and talk
ablot more. After all.....They were both Betazoids. Alex asked her if they'd
like to paint later and she said yes. He finally made a friend on the ship.

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Alex saw his wife and went over to talk to her. He politely asked to talk
to her and they went to the couch. Alex found out the name of thier daughter.
She named her Lauren. They talked about how they were having fights and being
apart. Tavi told him how he didn't ask about her and how he always talked
about himself and his family. Well he did ask and she didn't talk about it.
All and all, it was his fault and it was
up to him to try to win her back. If she wanted him back. She wanted time
away from him and he nodded quietly. Alex went to the bar and ordered a
bottle of scotch. After awahile, he went back and tried to sing to his wife.
She got angry and they had it out. A HUGE fight. Maybe now they won't get
back together after that. They went home together, with her being mad. They
both left to attend to their child. Is this the end? We hope not.

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Stardate 9809.10
Personal Log
Selah Tarva

Tarva made his way through the crowd of travelers disembarking from the
shuttle. It had been a week since his OEP tour on the USS Stealth had been
over. He had really enjoyed the crew they had made Julio & him feel right at
home from the begining. The fact that it had taken him away from Killian was
the only thing that was negative about this whole thing.

The Stealth had dropped them off at a starbase on their way out on a mission.
There they had caught a Verillion shuttle to Science Station Delta, where
they found themselves now. The noise from the myriad of species on the space
station was almost deafening.

{{GRAND!!}} Tarva dropped the bag he was carrying and rubbed his temples. It
was Julio using the psychic link that they had formed together during
mediation.
{{No need to "yell" Julio. What is it?}} Looking back to where his grandson
had paused.

With a sheepish look on his face. {{ Sorry.. I just was trying to compensate
for the "noise".}}
{{I understand Jules.}} Smiling warmly at the teenager.
{{ I want to look at these Deluvian neck chimes. Maybe get one for Killian.}}
{{Sure. But be sure to meet me at Docking Port Episilon in time for our
shuttle Okay?}}
{{ Sure Grand.}}
Tarva watched for a moment as the youth began to browse throught the
merchandise. Maybe having a family wouldn't be that hard after all.

.....On the upper deck the man who had been trailing Tarva and Julio since
they had left the USS Stealth watched as The Federation officer turned and
made his way to the docking port. Then turned back to watch his intended
target......the young man.....

TBC

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Stardate 9809.08
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

Killian sat back and watched the screens showing her crew. The station
commander, Admiral Jeremy Wilcox, handed her the tall chilled glass of
pineapple juice. She thanked him and took it.
"You know, the only thing missing is Tarva. I wish he and Julio had made it
for this."
"I know, Killian. But you know how it works when shuttles get delayed.
He'll be here before you leave." He put a hand on her shoulder a moment.
She shrugged it off. "Don't, Jeremy, you know that we never would make it
like that. I would kill you in your sleep that first night."
Admiral Wilcox looked at his hand and then at Killian. He lifted an eyebrow
and sighed. "I suppose you are right. But a man is allowed to dream, isn't
he?"
Killian turned to look at him, puzzled. "Do you?"
"Do I what? Dream? Yes, everyone does..."
"No...dream about me."
The slight blush on the older man's cheeks was enough of an answer. Killian
frowned and looked at the glass in her hand. A drop of condensation rolled
down the outside of the glass and over her hand. Lifting the glass to her
lips, the tang of the juice filled her mouth with the sweet burst of flavor
she loved so much.
"Killian, you are a very beautiful woman. Why you won't see that..."
"I am not, Jeremy. I am a trained weapon and intelligence gatherer. I
don't have what it takes to be beautiful, that takes years of work and
dedication to be that. I don't have the patience for primping. If it
doesn't work the first time, then it has to do because I'm not doing it
again. A beautiful woman takes hours making herself so. Gods, why do
men..."
Jeremy put his finger over her lips and shook his head. "I don't know where
you get your ideas from, Killian, but they are wrong. Yes, you don't spend
time on your physical beauty, which you have and to spare, but you have much
more to you than just looks. I don't know one other captain who blows as
much on making sure his or her crew has a good time on shoreleave as you do.
It's the details you think about and remember that make you beautiful."
She looked over to his desk and the antique Currier and Ives tin full of
homemade oatmeal raisin cookies she had brought for him and bit her lip. It
was a design he didn't have, and his personal collection of Currier and Ives
was quite extensive, and she had known it and gotten it for him. She had
also remembered his favorite cookies to fill it with, instead of the standard
Chocolate Chip.
He rested his hands on her shoulders, his voice soft. "Killian, you hide
from yourself so well, that you don't see what stares others in the face.
Right now, your crew probably can't figure out where the "Door prizes" are
coming from, but when shoreleave is over and they have a chance to think
about it, they will know."
"I better go and mingle and be seen by them on the floor. Enjoy your
cookies, Jeremy." She didn't look at him as she set her glass down. "Thank
you for the pineapple juice."
He watched her leave and sighed softly. "Someday, someone is going to break
through your shell Killian," he thought to himself, "and he'll be the
luckiest son of bitch in the galaxy." He raised his glass in silent salute
to the unknown man and wished him luck. Maybe this Selah Tarva fellow would
be the one...
Killian ducked into the 50's bar where Quint and the Clements were relaxing.
She moved to the bar and ordered a malt, something she loved from childhood
but rarely indulged in now. Her thoughts kept going back to Jeremy's words
and she prayed that even if her crew did figure it out, they wouldn't say
anything. She didn't know how she would face them if they knew. Hiding all
of this behind the light banter with her married first officer and their
married friends, Killian did her best to appear carefree.

::End log::

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Stardate 9809.10
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open Log::

Killian sat in her quarters and held the pillow to her chest. Her knees
were curled up against her and she rocked ever so slowly side to side.
Memories flooded through her on this day...off all days, this one was the
worst. This was...that day.
Her eyes lost their depth of color and for once, it was easy to see their
color from a distance, only for some reason, the pale blue looked wrong,
sick. She just didn't look right without her eyes glittering black.
Clutching the pillow tighter, she went into a mini convulsion on the couch.
Sweat poured from her, soaking the green silk blouse she was wearing. During
the convulsion, she had bitten her tongue and a little blood leaked from the
corner of her mouth and put color on her otherwise pasty face.
In the distance, a chime sounded. Killian didn't register it.
Down a long tunnel, a door opened and a security team entered. Killian
couldn't see them.
Across time and space, a voice spoke to someone holding a pillow and sitting
on a couch. Killian didn't understand it.
More people entered the captain's quarters, medical teams. Chaos turned to
Chandra in question. Chandra merely shrugged. All scans said that except
for the bite to the tongue, Killian was perfectly healthy. There were more
healed injuries than last reported, but they knew that Killian often treated
herself after her holodeck work outs. Her neural scans showed her brain to
be active and healthy. Nothing could be found to be wrong with her.
"Damn it, I don't like not knowing what is going on on this ship! I told
the captain I needed to put body guards on her."
"Chaos, I don't think this is anything the body guards could have protected
her against. There isn't anything wrong with her."
His eyes darkening, Chaos pointed to the catatonic captain and shouted loud
enough to be heard three corridors over. "Nothing wrong with her!?!?!?! Are
you blind!?!?!?!?!"
The med teams cringed away. Then a cool hand fell on Chaos's arm. He
jumped and turned. The mild look on Killian's face and the dreamy tone in
her voice frightened him more than any ghost story he had heard as a child.
"There is no need to shout, Lt. Please, I requested I be left alone today.
Respect my request."
"But, Captain, Sir, you...you..."
"As the doctor has stated, I am medically fine. The demons I must wrestle,
no one can help me with. Now, please, leave me."
Although it sounded as a request, everyone knew it was an order. Chaos was
the last to leave, looking at the captain and shaking his head. "You think
you know someone and then..."
The door cut off anything else he might have said. Killian hadn't moved,
she hadn't even registered that she had spoken to her crew. Somewhere in the
back of her mind, she knew she had, but that wasn't where she was. She was
light years away and years in the past.
Groaning, she curled in on herself and gripped the pillow tighter to her
chest. Tears slid from her eyes without her wanting them to. The tears
soaked the pillow as the sweat had soaked her blouse.
In her mind, the whole incident played itself out, over and over, beginning
with learning of it all the way through that day. It had been two years, yet
the pain was as real as if it were happening right this moment. Somewhere in
the back of her mind, she knew that she should stop this before it went
further. Before other memories were breached and added to this one.
The darkness closed in.
The voice began again.
The training began again.
The pain began again.
The nightmare began again.


TBC

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Stardate 9809.10
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

Killian stumbled to her desk, her body dry heaving from memory. She sat
down, two names flooding through her mind. One was dead and one...she didn't
know about. But maybe, clues could be gotten by going over it again, from
the stand point of a different person, rather than as the one living it and
reliving it. She had to know why this date held such pain and terror for
her.
"Computer, access personal file, Sylver, Killian, Stardate 9609.10.
Authorization code **** ***** ***** *** ***** *** ** *****." She could
hardly talk, but she had to know, she had to understand. "Scramble and don't
allow anyone else access to this record. Authorization and encryption codes
*** ***** **** ** ****** and ***** *** ****** * *** ** ****."
The computer searched, found the record, and then scrambled and encrypted
it. Finally showing Killian what she wanted to see.

::Jadzia and Julian were speaking in hushed tones in the office next to the
room in which Killian Sylver lay. Meras Oax had just returned to his ship,
looking for something he thought he had that would help her. They could hear
the struggle for self control going on in the other room. Not so much from
screams and moans, but from the restless movements. They would stop and
looked at each other
every time they heard her moving to the bathroom to disgorge an empty stomach
from morning sickness.::

Dax> You know, Julian, I don't think I have ever seen anyone more miserable
in my life.

Bashir> I have, a few times. But, not in Starfleet, only in the refugee
camps. Everytime anyone even gets close to her, it just gets worse. At this
point, I am extremely worried about her mental stability. With strains on
her body, and her will fighting it.... Jadzia, a human body and mind, no
matter what training it has gone through, will only take so much before
snapping. Something has got to give...and I am afraid it will be her mind.

Dax> Julian, I hope to god you are wrong. Someone like Sylver, with an
unstable mind..... ::Closes her eyes and shakes her head slowly::

::Suddenly the monitoring panel at Julian elbow lit up. Julian swung around
and swore softly, jumping up. Jadzia close on his heels. They burst into
Killian's room, and saw ... nothing.::

::Jadzia looked in the bathroom, and didn't find her. But all the
instruments read that she was in this room. Somewhere ... and in trouble.
Jadzia whirled and raced back into the other room at Julian's cry of shock::

::Jadzia saw Julian pulling Killian out from under the bed. She was curled
in a fetal position and very stiff. The lower half of her body was covered
in blood and other fluids.::

Bashir> Dax, I need a hypo of adrenaline, now! And a neutral stimulator.
Hurry!!

::Bashir pulled Killian on the table, running his tricorder over her. His
hands were steady as his heart raced. He wasn't going to loose her....he
wouldn't let that happen. It was too late for the baby, but he could and
would save Killian.::

Dax> ::Raced back into the room with the demanded items, followed by two
nurses with a cart of other needed supplies.:: Here, Julian. What happened?

Bashir> ::placing the stimulator on Killian's forehead, then pressing the
hypo to her neck, then activating the stimulator:: Her body gave up. She
wouldn't let go of her mind. I guess whatever you were afraid of, she was
too. She has lost the baby.

Dax> ::Closing her eyes a moment.:: Will she live, Julian?

::Bashir didn't answer as he worked trying to get Killian to breath again.
The nurses handing him whatever he asked for as soon as the words were out of
his mouth. Jadzia stood to one side and watched. She had seen Julian work
before...and she could see the determination on his face. He wasn't going to
stop until he had Killian Sylver back on her feet, or know the reason why.::

::One of the nurses let out a soft sigh of relief. Jadzia knew then that
Killian would live. It was just a matter of in what condition. Julian
continued to work on her. Cleaning her up and removing the miscarried fetus.
He kept coming back to check on her vitals and make sure she was still
stable. Frowning, he ran another scan on her. And then...another.::

Dax> Julian? Julian, what is it?

Bashir> ::In wonder:: It's gone. Totally gone. ::He moves to the desk on
the other side of the room....where Killian had found him before, and began
to download his findings into the computer there. His fingers flew as he
entered the data and worked to find a reason.::

Dax> What is? Julian? What are you talking about?

Bashir> Nurse, I want a full blood work up on Killian. Get me hormone
counts, and check the fetus as well... I want an answer.

Nurse> Yes, Doctor.

Dax> ::A warning tone in her voice:: Julian, if you don't tell me what is
going on, I am going to become very unreasonable.

Bashir> That drug. The one that Aaron Wago gave her, is gone. Somehow, with
the miscarriage, her body flushed it from her systems. That is why she is
now able to rest as she is. If it was still there... then.... she would be
fighting it again.

Dax> Well...at least that is one thing to be thankful for. I just wonder how
she will deal with learning she lost her baby. Julian...do you know what it
would have been?

Bashir> It was a boy. ::Working on the data. He, also, didn't want to think
about it.::

::Killian slept for 36 hours before waking. When she did, her head was
remarkably clear. The lights came on as the computer detected that she was
awake. Killian sat up, expecting to feel a wave of that uncontrollable
desire washing over her. She felt nothing. She expected to feel a wave of
nausea from the morning sickness. She felt nothing.::

::Panicking, Killian got off of the bed and ran into the bathroom, just to
make sure it was really her and not someone else that just had Killian's
thoughts and memories. Looking at herself in the mirror..she had to
acknowledge that it was indeed herself. She then relieved herself, and
walked slowly back into the other room. Climbing up, she sat in the edge of
the bed, with her back to her door.::

::One of the other doctors came in. He moved cautiously toward Killian, not
knowing what kind of reaction to expect. Killian turned at the sound of the
door opening and watched the doctor moving carefully.::

Killian> ::Frowning:: Where is Doctor Bashir?

Doctor> He had to return to the Defiant. With the work on the Columbia
done...he had to return. He and Lt Dax left messages for you. ::He hands
her a PADD with two messages logged into it. Then, he pulled out a tricorder
and began to scan her carefully::

Killian> ::Without reading the messages yet:: Doctor....what happened to me?
Why do I not feel anything anymore?

Doctor> What don't you feel?

Killian> Nauseated, dizzy, out of control, overly emotional, un-satiable
lust. You name it, I don't feel it.

Doctor> ::Reaching out and touching the bottom of Killian's foot.:: Did you
feel that?

Killian> ::Sighing:: Doctor...I am not injured. Of course I felt that.
::Swinging her legs:: See...everything works. Now...what happened? Why
don't I feel all those other things? And...why do I feel so....empty all of
a sudden?

Doctor> You almost died, Lt Sylver. You miscarried your baby. But, in the
miscarriage, you also dumped all the effects of the drug in your body. Dr.
Bashir gave me the particulars, and told me to watch for a relapse, but he
was almost certain there wouldn't be. It seems the fetus took all of the
drug with him when he left your body.

::Killian's mind went blank. What was she going to do now? Her baby? Gone?
She knew she had said that it didn't matter to her.... but....gone? Laying
down slowly, hot tears began to run down her cheeks. The doctor finished his
check up and left her alone. He didn't know how to handle her like this. He
had worked with her when she was fighting back, but never when she was broken
and sobbing.::

::Killian turned her back to the door and sobbed. Her mind numb, her body
empty, her life...shattered.::

Killian turned off the log. She couldn't believe it. She had forgotten,
but her body hadn't. She stumbled from her desk to her bathroom and threw
up. The name resonated through her mind and body. Aaron Wago...Aaron
Wago...Aaron Wago.
She jerked back, her body no longer under her control. Her mind screaming,
locked inside the shell that once belonged to Killian Janet Sylver Santiago.
Her body stood, striped, showered, dressed, primped, then left.
Killian screamed over and over, trying to break free of the hold that name
and past had on her.
Couldn't anyone see that something was wrong?
Wouldn't someone notice that something was different?
Why now!?!?!?!?!
HELP!!!!!!!!!

TBC

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LtCommander Terlak A. Kendall
Chief Engineer
USS ALDRIN
NCC-220947

Please enter destination: LCARS Logs for stardate 9807.05

Please enter password: ********** ****** ********

Please wait...

Logs,Stardate: 9807.05

OPEN PERSONAL LOG
AAAAAAA!!!!! I need a psychiatrist! NOW! After today, I will never
be the same again! After winning a whole antigrav load of money, Chaos and I
felt on top of the world, that is, until my Ex-wife, Denise (imagine Lilith
from Frasier), came around. She offered me a deal, either I give her all my
money, or I marry her, then afterwards she would most likely take all the
money and leave. I refused both, so she made me participate in a
traditional Berillianian wedding, where the female gets to choose any male no
matter who or why.
Next thing I know, I'm whisked away to the Starbase Chapel, bound
and gagged by Denise and her lawyer, ready, by Barellianian terms, to be
married. The ceremony was quite brief, and when it came time to proclaim: "I
do", which Denise almost said for me, Chaos burst in and claimed there was a
bomb. I then jumped on the antigrav, which whisked me out of the chapel, and
into the Promenade. Eventually everyone calmed down, but not before Denise
was in close pursuit. I whisked by the Captain, Ensign Romani, Kartan,
Alexander, Ltjg Xerx, Selah, Tia, Elfen, Saiter, Kivo, and the rest on my
desperate attempt to flee. Of course the antigrav wasn't going to carry me
around forever, so I had to to something. I glided into the Cargo
Transporter, attempting to flee. Amazingly, to my delight, the chief was
waiting for the mail-order bride to come. Within seconds, Denise barged in,
unwittingly stood
on the transporter pad, and demanded me to return to the ceremony. The chief
then beamed her out, believing she was the mail-order bride. Within mere
seconds, the already late Klingon Cargo ship departed for Quo'nos. I was
saved. I then hobbled past Saiter and Chaos, went on to the Personel
Transporter, and then arrived in Aldrin's Main Engineering, where everything
was (surprise) misplaced, changed, or broken. I then got some sleep and came
back
with Engineerings full compliment to fix what has been done.
END LOG

TERLAK> Ensign Hampton, go clear out Jefferies junction 40-329, the Starbase
personel decided to use it as storage of something.

HAMPTON>Yes sir.

TERLAK> Lt Akin, are the linear warp coils aligned.

AKIN> No, not even close

TERLAK> Well align them.

AKIN> Yes sir.

TERLAK> Yeoman Saldin, how are the bathrooms?

SALDIN> The crewmen shoved a ton of toilet paper down the tubes.

TERLAK> Get them out.

SALDIN> Yes......sir.

TERLAK> ::pushing a number of consoles:: Crud. ::takes the lift to the second
level::

TERLAK> ::whips out a isometric compounder wand:: There we go....::whir whir
whir whir::

CHAOS> ::grabs Terlaks shoulder and whips him around:: We need to talk.

TBC

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Stardate 9809.11
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

As Killian's body emerged from her quarters, Chaos's security teams jumped
all over her. She was also met by the medical team coming out of the suit
next to hers. Lifting an eyebrow, she calmly met all of their questioning
gazes.
"Look at me!!! Can't you see that it isn't me!!! Help!!!!"
"Well, it looks like Chaos is playing king of the hill again." Killian's
body smiled at the two teams, one security and one medical. "But, I can
assure you, that I am fine now. I was just doing some mediation. I really
don't see what all the fuss is about."
"Don't listen!!!! It isn't ME!!!! Naka, DON'T be fooled!!!!"
Killian's body began moving down the corridor, then stopped and looked at
those following her. She sighed and shook her head.
"I'm sorry, but I won't have you following me all over this ship. And if
Chaos has a problem with that, then he can come and talk to me. You are
dismissed."
"NO!!! Follow Chaos's orders!!! Don't do it. Don't let this happen!!!!"
Naka hesitated. Something was wrong with the Captain, that much she could
tell. But she couldn't tell what it was. She looked normal. She sounded
normal. Her expressions were normal. But something, Naka couldn't put her
finger on it, just wasn't right.
"Sir, if you don't mind, may I ask where you are going?"
Killian's body nodded as if pleased by something. "Good for you, Naka.
Chaos has trained you well. I'm going to the holodeck to work out. And, as
you know, as well as everyone on this ship, that is what I do when I have
something to work out. Also, since Chaos has ordered 24 hour surveillance of
me, and I don't want tag alongs, I have my com badge on, as you can see, you
can keep track of me that way. Alright?"
"Don't do it!! It's a dummy!! The real com badge is still in my quarters!!
Naka...Don't let her go!!!"
The others in the security and medical teams seemed satisfied. Their
captain wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. And she checked out fine
in all their instruments. But all of them felt funny around her. They were
uncomfortable, and didn't know why.
"Sir, why don't I just accompany you to the holodeck."
Killian's body turned and lifted an eyebrow. "Naka, I am perfectly able to
find my own way. And I will not allow anyone to baby sit me. I am still the
captain of this ship, and that means everyone, including our Mr. Chaos, is
under my command. You may wait by my door until I return, you may go to the
security office and watch my com badge, you may go to Chaos and let him know
what I am doing. I don't care which of those you do, but you will NOT
follow me around this ship like I was an idiot or a threat to my own ship and
crew. Is that clear, Lt.?"
"Naka!!! Don't listen!!!! I would never dress down an officer in front of
anyone else!!! You know that!!!! It isn't me in control!!! Naka!!! HELP
ME!!!!"
Nodding, Naka turned on her heels and left, taking with her the two teams
placed on watch by Chaos and relieved by Killian's body. All the way walking
down the corridor, Naka kept rubbing the back of her neck, as if she felt
someone watching her.
"Naka, the reason you feel something is wrong is my eyes!! Dammit, it's so
simple!!! That is why it was wrong!!! Gods, please, someone, HELP ME!!!"
Killian's body then turned and went down the corridor to the turbo lifts and
got in. She took it down to Shuttle bay 3 and stepped out. Nodding to those
crew member who saw her, which was only two ensigns, she entered the shuttle.
Tapping in two different sequences, one to make it so no one would know she
was taking the shuttle or know that the shuttle was even gone without visual
verification, the second to allow her to leave the ship.
The shuttle vanished into the stars behind the Aldrin, no one knowing it was
gone, the captain was gone, anything was wrong.

Boarding the last shuttle to take them home to the Aldrin, Selah and Julio
stopped a moment to talk to the yeoman taking names. Julio looked up and
around, a confused look on his face.
"Jules, what is it?"
"I don't know, Grans. But..." Taking a breath, Julio stepped off of the
boarding ramp, a frown on his face. "Grans, what color are Killian's eyes?"
Startled by the question, Selah stepped off as well, looking at his
grandson, studying his face.
"They appear black. Unless the lighting is right, then you can see they are
blue. Like yours, Jules. Why? You know this."
"They aren't black now. They are pale blue, and it's scaring her. She
screaming in her mind. Grans, something is happening to Killian!! Something
terrible!!! Grans..."
Julio shuddered and collapsed at Selah's feet as limp as a rag doll. Selah
picked up his grandson, shouting for the station's security and medical
teams. Something was wrong with his grandson, and if what Julio said was
true, then something was wrong with Killian as well.
One man detached himself from the crowd, moving so he could watch the boy.
His fingers flying on a wrist PADD, taking notes.

TBC

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Stardate 9809.12
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

The shuttle landed on hostile planet. In the distance, the bio-dome could
be seen only by the shimmer of energy. Killian's body picked up the enviro
suit and got in it. Then walked from the shuttle, which took off on
autopilot to return to the Aldrin.
She entered the bio-dome and took off the suit.
Then she collapsed.
Killian sat up and blinked. She took stock of her situation. She was once
again in control of her mind and body. She wasn't on the Aldrin and she
didn't have a way back. She didn't have a way to contact her ship. And she
was someplace...deserted.
Standing up, Killian brushed the dirt off of her legs and butt, then walked
toward the group of buildings just a few meters in front of her. Nothing
stirred but a dry wind and some dusts. The place was completely empty.
The passage between the buildings was narrow and acted almost like a wind
tunnel. Killian leaned into the wind and forced her way to the front of the
buildings.
She froze.
Her heart pounded in her chest.
"Oh gods..."
Killian stood on the street of an abandoned town. A sign hanging in front
of one building proclaimed it to be a bar. Another sign on another building,
stated that it was used for "Girls, Girls, Girls."
She walked to the middle of the street and looked at all the buildings. All
of them had two things in common, they were businesses dealing with pleasure
of one form or another, and they all had a small symbol on the corner of
their signs. \A/
A shudder passed through her body at the symbol.
A memory slammed into her so hard she fell backwards in the street.
With trembling hands, she looked at her right arm, inside, almost in her
armpit.
Turning over, she threw up in the street. She heaved and then dry heaved
until her body simply shut down.
When she woke, she was lying, face down, in the middle of a street in a
deserted town on a world somewhere in space. Killian refused to think about
what she found and concentrated on finding out where she was and how to get
off of this rock.
Taking a guess, Killian entered a building that didn't have any sign, just
the symbol blazed in crimson so dark it looked like fresh blood. She knew
she was in the right place the instant she entered. The plushness of the
furnishings shouted of someone with a big ego and cruelty of purpose. This
was where "he" lived.
Sitting in the leather chair behind the antique desk, Killian began looking
through everything. Trying to find some answers. The list of slaves made
her stomach churn. She almost dry-heaved again as she read some of the
comments written by each.
All color drained from her face as she saw her own name. She read what he
had written about her. Her hands shook so badly she could hardly turn the
pages in the file. The plasfilm covering felt oily and dirty, even though it
was the standard issue plasfilm used everywhere for the preservation of hard
copy documents. When she read the notation about how he had programmed her
through posthypnotic commands, she slammed the file shut.
"Okay, Wago, where are you? I'm not cowering in some corner any more. I'm
not influenced by any more of your commands. Come and face a free woman and
see how you fare now!!"
Silence greeted her challenge and echoed it through the empty building,
growing until the echoes sounded throughout the entire bio-dome, bouncing and
colliding in a jumble of confusion.
Falling back in the chair, Killian realized one thing. She had known it.
She had even thought about it. But she hadn't accepted it until that moment.

She was alone.

TBC

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Personal Log
Selah Tarva
9809.12

Selah stood beside the bed of his grandson. He had been unconcious since he
passed out. The station doctor had told him that there was nothing physically
wrong with Julio. They did not know why he was unconcious, but did not
suggest moving him until they did some test. That reminded him, looking at
his chronometer Selah realized that he needed to get in contact with the
Aldrin and notify them of his
current situation. Giving the youth lying on the bio bed one last look the
starfleet officer left the room.

Lost in thought, Selah bumped into a med tech as he stepped into the
hallway.
"Excuse me..." He said as he looked up at the man dressed in a lab coat.
Ensign Malor sir. No problem, I'm just gonna take some vital signs." The
technician muttered as he slipped into Julio's room.

Shaking his head as he made his way down the hall to the Starbase Ops
station to send his subspace message, Selah passed a supply closet. No
different than any normal supply closet except for the fact that inside was
the body of the deceased Ensign Malor.

In Julio's room the murderer posing as the deceased ensign made his way
to the bedside of the defenseless teen.

TBC

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Alex wandered into TFL to get a bottle of scotch and relax. He went to
the bar, grabbed the bottle of scotch, and headed to the VP. He looked out at
the stars as he remembered how he and Tavi did the same. Alex tured and there
Tavi was. He was giving her time to herself and she approached him. They both
said Hi and asked how each other ws. They talked about her brother, her
parents, and their child. They actually
talked and didn't fight. Soon enough, Tavi was beeped and Alex asked about
visiting their daughter. She'd let him see Lauren anytime and Tavi asked if
he wanted to go with her. So Alex left with Tavi.....Was this hope that they
will get back together? Alex was hoping so......

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Stardate 9809.14
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

Killian blinked at the red light flashing in the small unit in the wall.
She had been searching Wago's office, looking for anything that might give
her answers or help her get off of this rock. So far, the dusts of time had
stolen everything that might have helped her.
It was sheer accident that she had found this movable panel that hid the
readout unit on all planet systems. She found out that nothing had been done
for a year on anything. She was able to access some of the computer's
databanks, but someone had been kind enough to leave them corrupted and
fragmented beyond complete retrieval. There was still no answer for where
Wago was, or why this place was abandoned, just that is was. The only left
behind
were a few skeletons in the closet, a dying power plant, and dust.
All searches for some kind of communication devices had turned up empty.
Killian was getting discouraged with her lack of luck. And now, the red
light started flashing. Checking the readout, she felt her stomach sink
another notch.
"Great, this whole place is dying, and it looks like I'm going down with it.
Okay, Wago, where would you hide the power plant?"
Killian searched through all his drawers and files, searching for some kind
of map of this place, but again, no luck. Checking the readout again, she
calculated in her mind she had three days left. In three days, the power
plant would fail, the bio-dome would fall, and she would be dead in a matter
of hours. He had been kind enough to leave equipment that let her know the
was no breathable oxygen in the atmosphere and no potable water anywhere on
the rock he had called home.
The only replicator that still worked was in a posh resort that used to
house the younger slaves, the ones that had yet to enter puberty but were big
enough to play with. The pedophile's dream house. Everytime she entered
that building, she had to steal herself against the sights that met her eyes.
When the patrons left, they left the slaves behind. The tiny, heat preserved
bodies, of the dead children scattered in the various rooms made her
hatred of Wago grow beyond what it already was. They had been left to die
and from the looks on the faces of some of the older ones, they had known it.
In her exploration, she had found the bodies of men, women, and animals, all
preserved like the ancient Egyptian mummies, in the different cages they had
been left in. Some of the cages were simply that, cages of titanium. Some
were cages of chains in room so luxurious as to make the President's personal
suite seem a pauper's hovel. And some were cages of horror, in places that
could have been used in late 20th century horror movies. Each had
died, knowing they had been left behind, but the children had been the
hardest to face.
She walked through the town, the ghosts of the dead slaves singing on the
wind. She could almost feel their dehydrated fingers clawing at her skin and
hair as the wind tugged at her. In her mind, she had to replay over and over
all the good times she could remember, blocking out the feeling of having a
million eyes watching your back, waiting for you to take the step that would
make you their prey.
Kneeling down by the fragments of her bio-suit, Killian gave a shout of
rage. It had been rendered useless by the walk from the shuttle to the
bio-dome. The acidity of the atmosphere burned her fingers as she held the
scraps of cloth. The oxygen that had been left in the tank had long since
bled out. Now, when the bio-dome collapsed in three days, it would be a
race. Would the lack of oxygen get her, or would it be the acid in what
passed for
atmosphere that would be her downfall?
Turning her back on the putrid swirls outside the dome, she looked at the
blank backs of the buildings.
Nothing hummed of the life giving energy.
Nothing but the wind stirred.
Nothing was there and nothing was all this town had to offer.
Killian shook her head at that thought.
"No, it offers death."
Her words rang through the silence and echoed back at her. She covered her
ears and made her way back into Wago's office. There had to be something,
anything, she could use to contact the Aldrin, to contact anyone. She
couldn't give up. If she did...
The images of the children crowded her mind. They cried to her in their
thoughts, begging for release, begging for food, begging for water, begging
for mercy, begging for human touch. The echoes of their cries mingled with
her own and the black circles under her eyes grew, as another sleepless night
fell upon her.

TBC

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Stardate 9809.14
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

"Killian."
The voice was soft, caressing, insistent, terrifying. It lulled and
threatened at the same time. It coaxed and punished. It was a voice that
could never be forgotten.
"Killian."
Killian's eyes opened and her head jerked up. She had fallen asleep at
Wago's desk, still trying to figure out a way to either let her ship know
where she was or prolong the life of the still unlocated power plant. She
tried to figure out what had awoken her.
"Killian."
Jumping from the chair, she whirled to face the speaker. No one was there.
Listening, she heard the faint sounds of rustling cloth, but it was a sound
she was used to, if you could get used to any of the sounds in this ghost
town. It came from an open window in a building across the way. A faded
satin curtain fluttered in the dry wind. The room had belonged to twins,
they had died, holding each other for comfort.
"Killian."
The voice was insistent, crooning, commanding.
"Killian."
"Who is out there?"
Killian's words fell in the emptiness, but it was an emptiness that suddenly
closed in on her. She backed into the wall, her hands splayed flat against
the wood paneling. They were coming for her. She could see them. She
watched as they pulled themselves up from crouches and huddles, stood from
chairs and beds, crawled from corners and closets. Their dried limbs no
longer shackled to the walls and floors and ceilings and cages. Eyes void of
life searched the dim light of night, seeking out the living.
Feet as hard as leather scraped against wood and carpet and dust and dirt.
Hundreds of them, all of them restless. Killian's eyes grew large as they
drew nearer. Her chest heaved like bellows and the couldn't catch her
breath.
"Killian."
They came, relentless, merciless, pitiless. They didn't care she was as
much a prisoner as they. All they knew was she lived and they died. They
came demanding retribution. Hands clasped each other in agreement of
purpose. Minds turned with the single, bending thought, revenge, revenge,
revenge.
"Killian."
"STOP IT!!"
She tried to run, to hide, but they searched her out. Down dark alleyways
and under crawl spaces, they came in a steady flow of hatred and malice.
Sorrow tainted the air and despair damaged the soil.
Killian found herself in a dead-end with three walls around her. She turned
to face the oncoming wave of death. Pressing her back against the wall, she
bit her lip to stop from screaming.
Just then, a moon came out, putting a silvery icing on the tortured and
twisted scene being played out below. The white rays gave stark reality to
the grim faces coming closer, closer.
A second moon rose, adding a pale green light to the hollow eye sockets.
The wind seemed to hush for a moment, the only time since her arrival that it
was stilled. Even the satin curtain had stopped it's soft rustle.
The third moon came into view. Deep crimson shadows enclosed the mummified
bodies with the illusion of life giving blood. They pressed forward,
uncaring about the moons, intent on their prey. A humming filled the air,
the humming of unholy glee coming from hundreds of petrified throats.
It was only the barest sensation, but it was enough. A slight vibration
passed against the soles of Killian's feet as she stood on the threshold of
hell. She had found it, but found it too late. She was standing on the
entrance to the underground power plant.
"Killian."
The first to reach her was a child. The wisps of hair might once have been
blond, but now, was a sun-dried gray. The hand was oily and dry. The bony
fingers torn at Killian's hip, sending a bolt of pain shooting through her
body.
Killian's whole body jerked upright. The arm of the chair was digging
painfully into her hip. Her entire body was covered with sweat. Outside,
three moons hung in the night sky above the bio-dome. The wind whistled
through the empty streets.
Putting her hand against her chest, Killian could feel her heart pounding
against her ribs.
"It was only a dream," her voice was shaky in her own ears. Clearing her
throat, she tried again, this time doing her best to put more conviction and
less fear in her tone. "It was only a dream."
That sounded better. Rubbing the back of her neck, she tried to remember
something, something important. It was still the middle of the night and
although the atmosphere glowed with enough light to see clearly, it wasn't a
glow that made anyone feel comfortable.
With a soft sigh, Killian turned again to her search. She had to find
something and soon. She hadn't been here more than 36 hours, but already,
she was beginning to doubt her own sanity. She wasn't sure she could last
another 12, let alone the 66 that was left to her by the power plant. If,
she could find it.

TBC

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Alex heard the news he dreaded to hear. Tavi wanted a divorce. They
talked and he had the divorce papers in his hand. He had thought about it,
but couldn't do it. But she could. She wanted it and sge cried as she left.
Alex went after her and told her he loved her forever. She said goodbye to
him and went on her way. Alex cried right there. It was over. His marriage
was over. Who knows what will happen to their
daughter. Who knows what he would do next. He shut off the log and labeled it
CLASSIFIED: FOR ALEX STYLES EYES ONLY. Only Alex can read it.

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Stardate 9809.14
Dreamstate
Killian Santiago/Julio Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

Julio lay on the bed, unconscious. He could feel people around him. He
could hear Selah talking to him. He just couldn't respond. Somehow, he
knew, he saw, he felt, Killian.
The horror shocked through his soul as he saw the brand on her arm. The
same symbol that was on all the buildings of that awful planet. His own
grandmother, branded like cattle. If he could have, he too would have thrown
up and passed out. He wondered how anyone could have missed it. Then he
remembered what it looked like. It was flesh colored so that it wouldn't
ruin the looks of the merchandise. Unless you knew what to look for, it
would
just appear to be a natural fold of the skin.
His entire body jerked when he was confronted with the remains of the slaves
left behind. He cursed his grandmother for knowing all that she did and for
somehow creating the link between the two of them. He didn't want these
nightmares. He didn't want to see how those three little kids had tried to
eat each other at the end. And he sure as hell didn't want to know about
that baby, with the brand on it's arm, that lay curled in the arms of it's
mother, also branded, both mummies.
He felt a needle go into his arm. He was confused. No one used needles
anymore, they used hypos. Someone was in the room with him, someone that
shouldn't be. He felt his body growing lighter, as if he were floating away.
Then he was jerked back, hard, and screamed as he saw the dead of the three
mooned world rise up and hunt him down. They were chasing Killian, but they
were hunting him. Someone near him startled away from him, surprised.
More someones burst into the room. A lot of noise surrounded him. But he
saw and felt the dead of that world closing in on him. He kept screaming
Killian's name, over and over. His throat felt raw and still he screamed.
Then the cooling pressure of the hypo touched his neck and his body relaxed,
but his mind was in turmoil.
"Lt Selah, I don't know what to tell you. His brain activity is off the
scale, but his body is in a kind of stasis. I have no idea why, but I
believe there is someone linked with him. He kept screaming the name Killian
before we sedated him again. He didn't even know he was screaming."
"Killian. By the Prophets, what is happening?"
"Lt Selah, do you know what is going on?"
"I can only guess, Sir. But Killian is his grandmother and my fiancee. She
is the Captain of the USS Aldrin."
"Fleet Captain Santiago?"
Selah nodded. The station Commander and medical staff exchanged worried
looks.
"Lt Selah, I have something to tell you..."

TBC

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Alex was beginning to feel like part of the Aldrin family. He had
participated in his first actual duty shift. Styles had helped to save the
planet by difusing a bomb. Alex was going to do something relaxing after this
was all over.

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Stardate 9809.15
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

Killian wandered through the street. The last replicator had died during
the night. All she had to survive on now was the little amount of water she
had stored away from her first visit to the replicator. She had to keep her
mind on anything but the fact that she had a little more than 54 hours until
the power plant failed, only two liters of water, and no way off of this
rock.
She stopped to watch the satin curtain flap in the wind. Once, it had been
a deep emerald green, now it was a sun faded gray. Everything was gray. The
buildings where gray, the dust was gray, the bodies were gray, the
furnishings were gray. The mists were a dull, sickly, yellow-green, giving a
little color to things, but it wasn't the right kind of color. She was
starting to hate gray as much as she hated pink, but for different reasons.
A strong gust of wind blew her hair around her face and she jumped when it
first came into her peripheral vision. She calmed her racing heart and took
several deep breaths. What was it about this place that got to her when so
many others hadn't?
Killian chastised herself for licking her lips, yet again. She didn't have
anything to soothe them with and if she kept trying to steal their moisture
now, it would only make things worse in the end. Damn it, why had they let
her get off of the ship?!?!?!?!
"If it gets any hotter, I could just fry a dust mote and eat that for
dinner." She laughed at her own joke. Her words and laughter sounding harsh
and maniacal in her ears. Maybe she was finally losing it? Wouldn't Ed
laugh his butt off about that. He had tried for so long to make her lose it,
and she never did. But now, a ghost town and it's ghosts were ripping her
sanity to shreds in a matter of hours and there wasn't anything to stop it.
The sun burning her eyelids as it filtered through the green goo that was
the atmosphere, woke Killian. She had fallen in the middle of the street and
was laying on her back. The lengthening shadows had hidden her ankles and
wrists from the sun.
Jerking up, Killian rubbed at her wrists, feeling the invisible chains
around them. She had been spread eagle, like she was chained. Her skin was
blistering in some places from the sunburn, but at least it gave her some
color other than gray. And the pain kept her mind off of the situation.
Gods, Cesya and Chandra would have a field day with her, if she ever got back
home.
Home, home, home, home. The word seemed to echo through the empty streets
like a heart beat. Every shadow longing for home. This wasn't home, it
never could be. This was prison. This was the grave. This was hell.
Killian stood up and tried to brush the dust from her clothing, but gave up.
It wasn't any good, it would never be any good. Nothing was any good
anymore.
She wandered around the empty streets, looking in empty window at empty
rooms. The bodies having become like the furniture, just objects to take up
more empty space. Everything was empty.

TBC

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Stardate 9809.16
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

She felts hands tugging at her, pulling her into a sitting position.
Opening her eyes, she couldn't believe it, they had come for her. They had
found her. She tried to stand, shakily, but fell. Hands reached out to stop
her fall, and she passed right through them.
The sharp pain of the wrist bone snapping woke Killian with a jolt. She
spit dust from her mouth and clutched her hand to her stomach. Her stomach
twisted in knots as she pulled on her hand, aligning the bones in her arm.
She screamed from the stabbing pain that shot through her whole body. Now,
she had to mobilize it.
It was hard not to lick her lips now, another day had passed and still no
sign of the power plant, except for the fading lights in Wago's office. She
was down to one liter of water and 24 hours before bio-dome failure. With a
broken arm now, it would make it even harder to ration out her water.
Killian turned to scream at that stupid satin curtain to stop flapping, when
she knew what to use for a sling. Carefully pulling herself up, she walked,
or rather, fell along the way to that building and up those stairs and into
that room. She couldn't think anymore about which building or which stairs
or which room, just that one. She didn't even see the dead twins, just that
satin curtain that was once emerald green and was now gray.
It took her two tries to rip it from the rings and she knew she had to set
her arm again. It had taken both hands to do it. Sitting in a chair in the
room, not seeing the women, she set her arm again. Screaming with the pain.
It felt good to scream. She screamed again, just to hear it. Then she bound
her wrist tightly and used the rest to bind it to her body. Now, she had one
hand and arm. Not that it would make any difference, if she could
find the power plant, she didn't know what it would take to fix the problem,
whatever it was.
What she wouldn't give to have Terlak walk through that door, arguing with
Courtney...no, Courtney was gone...what was that new doctor's name? Oh
yeah...Cesya. Have Terlak and Cesya walk through that door. Telling her it
was over, she was safe. Terlak would fix the power plant and Cesya would fix
her arm and they could be happy.
Killian blinked. In the doorway stood Chaos. Big as life, a silly grin on
his face.
"Well, Captain, we did it. We found you. Do you want to go home now?"
Killian nodded mutely, crying, standing up and stumbling towards Chaos. He
didn't move to come to her aid. He just stood there, smiling, holding out a
hand to her. She reached for his hand, closing her fingers around living
flesh, and...
The doorframe held her up this time, though the jolt through her arm and
shoulder made her scream again. She stumbled from the room. The twins
grinning at her made her angry. They knew, they understood, they were
waiting. She didn't want to die in their room. She didn't want to die on
this rock. She didn't want to die.
As she left the building and stepped into the bright street, the wind almost
knocked her over. Then she heard them, the voices coming from behind the
buildings. They had found her rotting enviro-suit. They had found her. She
was going home. It wasn't her crew, it was someone else, but they had found
her.
"Doctor Maren, over here. I have lifesigns, but they are fading fast."
"I'm coming, Lt Clemens."
Two men raced around the buildings and into the street. Killian held onto
the colonnade of the balcony of that building, leaning against it. They
stopped when they saw her and started walking slowly toward her. One of them
had a soft voice, the other didn't say anything. As they got closer, she
held out a hand. The one reached out to take it and...
Killian sat on the porch and sobbed. She knew she shouldn't be wasting her
body's fluids, but these hallucinations of being rescued were too much. When
would it stop...where would it stop? One of the bodies came before her
mind's eyes. She hadn't understood then, now she did. It was a man, and he
had hung himself in his room by his own chain. She remembered pulling him
down and laying him on his bed. Maybe that was the answer. Maybe, if she
couldn't find the power plant by tonight, that would be the best way out.
A scream of despair rose from her throat.
A wail of regrets echoed from her heart.
A whimper of hopelessness trembled from her lips.

TBC

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Stardate 9809.17
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

~It's just another hallucination, Killian, don't believe it.~ Killian's
mind played that over and over. ~You have fallen in the room with the twins
and that chair fell on you. That's why you can't move.~ Her eyes were open,
yet she saw nothing but dust and gray buildings and mummified bodies.
Her arm had been repaired, as well as the dehydration being reversed. She
was in Sick bay, on a bio bed, and held in place by a restraining field.
Twice she had tried to get up and walk away, walk to no where on the ship.
The nursed on duty heard her mumbling about Chago and dead ends. Now she
wasn't going to go any where until she was medically cleared.
"I don't know what is wrong with her, Commander, except that she has just
been through hell. My recommendation is to put her somewhere she would
recognize and let her bring herself out of this. Or, get Selah back here so
he can find out what's wrong with her."
"Doctor, will she be all right?"
"I don't know, Commander. Right now, medically, we have done all we can for
her. She is locked away in her mind right now. I doubt she could even tell
you her name, let alone where she is."
"Thank you, Doctor."
Commander Kivo and Dr. Saiter stood over Killian while they had this
conversation, then left to have another one in Saiter's office. Killian's
eyes followed them as left. Her eyes had been on them the whole time, open,
vacant, almost colorless. Then they shifted back to the ceiling.
It was a nice ceiling. A soft gray, soothing to most. All Killian saw were
buildings, gray buildings with the symbol on them. The same symbol carved
into the flesh of her inner arm. The same symbol that was carved into the
flesh of every body left on the planet.
The restraining field was taken off of her and two nurses helped her up.
She stood, her eyes vacantly taking in sick bay. Nothing looked familiar.
These things didn't belong, they weren't covered in dust, they weren't
sun-faded gray. She was hallucinating again. Her breathing became rapid as
she was walked into a room. It was prison, there hadn't been a prison. If a
slave acted up, he or she was punished. If a guest acted up, he or she was
fined. It was simple, no one was put in prison.
She screamed as the room changed and she was in someplace green and open.
People were there, talking and laughing, alive. She covered her ears and
closed her eyes and curled up in a ball, screaming. A cooling hypo was
pressed against her neck. She screamed until it was black.
"I guess the holodeck of her home wasn't a good idea. We'll have to try
again."
"We'll wait for Selah."
"As you say, Commander."
Killian was taken to a room where she could be alone. Monitors were placed
in the walls and floor and ceiling so she was constantly watched and taken
care of. Most of the time, she just huddled in the corner, mumbling
something no one could hear, even with the monitors.

TBC

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Stardate 9809.16
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

Killian sat down at Wago's desk and looked at the liter of water she had
left. This had to last 20 hours. With one had, she carefully opened the lid
of the container. She took several minutes working it open, using her teeth
as well and her fingers to hold it in place. Finally, she got it open.
The door behind her rattled, and she turned a moment to see what it was.
She felt the wetness against her arm before she realized what it was.
Turning back, she stared at the water running from the desk and soaking her
jumpsuit and the carpet. All that remained was one mouthful in the bottle.
She didn't know where to the laugh or cry, so she did both. Her body shook
with the force of her sobs and the hysterical tinge to her laughter
frightened
her.
Picking up the bottle, she slowly sipped the last mouthful of water. It
barely moistened her swollen tongue and served more to tease her thirst than
to quench it. Killian threw the empty bottle against the wall and screamed.
She screamed over and over, getting more and more shrill. This wasn't
happening to her. This couldn't happen to her. She was invincible. She was
Killian Sylver, best agent SI had ever had in their entire history. She
couldn't be trapped on some poison rock, left to die in the dust.
"Killian Sylver, what are you doing?"
Killian jerked up and turned around. She screamed and stood up, screaming
again. He kept coming forward, step by step.
"Killian, answer me. I want to know what you are doing? How could you have
let Ingrid die like that? How could you have allowed yourself to be trapped
like this? Killian, what are you doing?"
"You. Are. Dead. Chago!! You can't be here!! Stop it!! STOP IT!!!!!"
"Killian, I can be here. But, you can't. It isn't time for you to be here.
It wasn't time for Ingrid to be here, but she is. I can't let you stay. You
have to go back. You can't stay here, Killian. You have to go back."
"Back where, Chago? What are you talking about?"
"Killian, you don't belong in this place. Your body is still alive, barely.
But it won't last without your soul. You have to go back, Killian. You are
needed by many."
"I needed you, Chago, and you left me."
The tone in her voice stung Juan Carlos Santiago, and he flinched. He tried
to take her in his arms, but she slapped him away.
"I needed you, Chago, and you left me."
This time, she let him hold her. He softly kissed her hair and caressed her
back.
"Hush, Killian, don't cry. I didn't have a choice, Killian, I had to go, it
was my time to come. You still have too much work to do. Julio needs you.
And there are others who need you. Killian, it's time, you have to go back."
"Chago, NO!!! I can't go back. I'm dying. Let me die in peace!!"
"I love you too much, Killian Sylver, to ever let you stay. You are
stronger than that. The power source is underground, in the alley way,
Killian. The dead end alley way. Remember. Now go back. You can do it.
Go back."
Killian felt the pins and needles racing up her legs from her feet. She had
fallen asleep sitting on her feet and now they were protesting. She stood
and thumped her legs back to life with one hand. Looking at the timepiece in
Wago's office, she saw she had 12 hours left. She had slept for 8 hours.
Why did time seem to pass so slowly, yet speed by so quickly?
"The power source, underground, dead end alley." That was Chago's voice.
But, he was dead. He had been dead for close to two years. No, it had to be
another trick. Her mind had played so many on her, she didn't know what was
up or what was down. And it was night again. Her last night alive, if
something didn't change. Twelve more hours, that was all she had left.
Taking out a piece of hardcopy and a quill pen, she started to write. She
hoped that someone would find her remains, eventually, and put her soul to
rest. Slowly, carefully, she wrote out her last will, although she wasn't
quite sure about the sound mind part, she knew she wasn't of sound body. But
it had to be done, they had to know. She didn't write any of the horrors,
just her requests that Selah and Julio split her estate between them. And
that they continue to fund the special scholarships she supported. Other
than that, she didn't care what happened.
With four hours left, she set the paper on the desk and stood up. She might
as well try the dead end. It just might be the answer to her needs.
She walked past the hallucination of Chaos, Cesya, Naka, and Hobbes, she
really didn't want to deal with them right now. She jerked her arm from
Naka's grasp and kept walking, dazed, toward the dead end.
=/\= Chaos to Kivo, we have her. But, she isn't well. She didn't even see
us. We are following her. Naka said there is a power source in the
direction the Captain is heading. Maybe that is where she is going. =/\=
=/\= Kivo to Chaos, I don't care where she is headed. Get her back on the
ship, now. =/\=
=/\= Chaos to Kivo, understood, Sir. Prepare to beam up five. =/\=
Killian kept walking. She ignored the whole thing. It was just another
hallucination. She had to see if Chago was right.
Gentle hands closed around her, stopping her. She struggled like an animal
to get free and continue to the dead end. The coolness of a hypo pressed
against her neck.
Blackness closed in.
Then there was the light.

TBC

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Stardate 9809.18
Personal Log
Selah Tarva
Counselor
USS Aldrin

::Open Log::

Selah stood in the room watching Julio as he slept. In a short time this
young man had managed to become an integral part of his life. The doctors
still had no idea what had happened to cause this episode. Selah had tried to
reach him through the "link" that he shared with Julio and Killian but no
luck. As a matter of fact he had not been able to reach Killian aas of late.

Now he had been recalled to the USS Aldrin for some reason Cmdr Kivo had
refused to discuss over subspace frequencies. He had only said that it was of
grave importance that he return. He would do his duty but as soon as it was
completed he would return to Julio.

As the starfleet officer boarded the shuttlecraft that would take him to his
rendevous with the Aldrin a message was being relayed from the spacestation
to some unknown destination.
"The counselor is enroute to the Aldrin. Proceeding with the extraction."

In sickbay Julio tossed and turned and in a raspy voice uttered one word
"Grand.....*"

TBC

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Stardate 9809.18
Personal Log
Killian Santiago
Fleet Captain
USS Aldrin

::Open log::

Killian looked up as someone came into the room. She tried to pull his name
from her memory, but it wasn't there. She looked back down at the floor,
that was easy to remember. After a minute, she found a tray with food on it
in her line of sight. She saw a foot. Looking up, she saw that same man
there.
He was sitting on his heels, his hands folded in his lap, watching her. He
seemed to know her and that bothered Killian, a lot. She didn't like not
knowing who knew her. He didn't say anything, just watched her.
Screaming at him, she picked up the tray of food and threw it in his face.
She wasn't some kind of freak in a freak show! She wasn't some monkey in a
zoo you could watch for 25 cents! She wasn't some clown in a circus! And
she didn't want to be watched!
He stood and backed out of the room, watching her, careful of her movements.
Then he left, sealing the door behind him. He entered sick bay and sat down,
his handsome face sad and hurt.
"She didn't know me. My own sister, and she didn't know me."
The doctor sat down next to Captain Sean Sylver and rested her hand softly
on his forearm.
"Captain, she doesn't know anyone. She doesn't know Commander Kivo, Lt
Chaos, Commander Terlak. Even Captain Torres called from the Columbia and
the Captain didn't know her. We just barely found out what it was she kept
mumbling. She kept saying, 'Chago, dead end, power source.'"
Sean looked up at the doctor, a tear in his eyes. He looked over his
shoulder at the monitor of his baby sister as she sat rocking in the corner.
She was neat and clean, fastidiously so, but she didn't know anything. The
medical staff had to give her nutrition hypos because she wouldn't eat or
drink, thinking it was all hallucination.
"What is being done for her, Doctor?"
"Lt Selah will be here within the hour, he will do what he can for her.
He's one of the best in his field, Captain Sylver, I promise you that."
Sean nodded.
"I'm staying here until she has improved. I won't leave her alone. Find me
someplace to stay."
"I'll clear it with the Commander, Captain."
Sean made to say something, then didn't. He knew this wasn't his ship, even
if his baby sister was the captain of it. And he had to respect the chain of
command on this ship, just as he would expect others to obey it on his.
Selah burst into sick bay without going to his quarters to change or drop
off his bags. He looked around for a doctor, saw the monitor and narrowed
his eyes.
"Why is she being isolated? That is the worst thing for her right now. Get
her out of that cell and put her back in her own suit. By the prophets, what
were you people thinking? Being isolated is what caused this in the first
place."
Without waiting, he opened the door to the cell and walked to Killian. He
took one look into her pale, vacant eyes and shuddered. He had his work cut
out for him. Wrapping his arms around her, he lifted her and walked her out
into sick bay.
She froze. Someone new was in her cell. Someone was touching her. Someone
was making her move. Someone. Someone. Someone.
She looked at the man holding her, and then slowly at the few others
standing and watching. They were watching her again. She screamed at them
and tried to pull away from the one holding her. He wouldn't let her go. He
held on, holding her against his body. She screamed and beat at him, clawing
at him, but he held fast.
A voice. It was soft. It was soothing. It was gentle. It was loving. A
voice. Her ear was warm, someone was saying something in her ear. Someone
was talking to her. Someone alive. Someone. Someone. Someone.
"It's okay, Killian, I've got you. I've got you."
A heartbeat. A living heartbeat. It was under her ear. The chest moved
and air was being pushed into lungs. It was a heartbeat. And then, she felt
her own, and it was different from the heartbeat she heard.
Selah held her close, softly caressing her hair. He whispered over and over
to her, the same words. She had stopped fighting him and had stopped
screaming. She was pressing her ear against his chest, listening to him. He
closed his eyes to stop the tears. First his grandson and now his love.
Where would it end?
Slowly, Killian relaxed her body in his arms. She felt his heart, heard his
heart, heard his voice, felt his voice. This someone was alive. There was
hope. Maybe she would live and get off this rock. Maybe...
"Chago. . . Dead end. . . Power supply. . . " Her voice was very soft,
almost childlike. She looked up into the face that was so familiar and yet
so strange. She hoped he would understand and help her.
Selah was confused a moment. Then he nodded, it seemed to be what she
needed. She nodded back and laid her head against his chest, listening to
his heartbeat again.
Ba Bum
Ba Bum
Ba Bum
The pulse of life and hope.

TBC